(no subject)
Jul. 26th, 2006 07:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
llywelaReally need to try to get an early night tonight, since I have to be out of the house at the crack of dawn tomorrow for my day at the Royal Welsh Agricultural Show. Always a good day, manning the stand. A lengthy day - early start, late finish - but good. We try to have plenty of people on the stand each day so we all get plenty of breaks to wander around and enjoy the Show. I bought a gorgeous skirt there last year - must see if I can find the same stall again tomorrow!
Plus, we go in under traders/exhibitors badges which, seeing as I'm an office flunky just about every other day of the year, is always kinda fun.
Course, though, even if I do get to bed early, chances of getting to sleep early are remote, what with the heat. Bring back spring...
Deb and Ray have had their first interview with the social worker, to talk about the little girl they might be matched with for adoption – there's been a number of couples interviewed, but they are apparently the front-runners. Apart from the fact that the head of the adoption agency they are with doesn't like fat people, and they are both rather large.
Very unfair if that is held against them. Deb's trigliceride and back problems are the reason she finds it hard to lose weight, and Ray put all his on after smashing his legs in a climbing accident and being laid up for months. Being large doesn't mean they wouldn't make fantastic parents.
The little girl, C, has been in hospital all her life, but there's actually not that much wrong with her. She has a condition kind of like sleep apnoea – basically, when she falls asleep, her body thinks she's dead and she stops breathing. Hence the ventilator. Other than that she is completely healthy – since she started school two years ago she has never missed a day.
She is in Southampton. Her parents are from Guernsey and visit her twice a week. They just sit by her bed and do nothing with her. They have never bought her clothes, toys, anything – everything she has, all her clothes, were bought for her by the nurses. Since her parents seem unlikely to ever do anything for her, social services went to court to get her released for adoption.
She needs to be out of hospital – she is growing up and getting bored. Her teaching assistant gets her dressed of a morning and takes her to school, and then after school takes her back to the hospital, puts her nightdress back on her, and leaves her. She is good at amusing herself with books and colouring, but she's six years old. She needs more than that.
She has learned that if she sneaks into the baby unit next door, she can turn all the monitors off and get the nurses to come running. A little monkey, apparently.
She recently went to the sleep centre in Bristol, and can apparently sleep for an hour before she stops breathing. It could be that as she grows older, her muscles will strengthen and she will outgrow the problem. But she might not. It will always be a concern, especially when she hits her teens and starts going out on her own. She could fall asleep in the bus or train, and stop breathing. Life is never simple.
The main concern of the judge who released her for adoption is that, having lived in hospital all her life, she might struggle to adjust to life with a home and family, so he's recommended a two year foster placement leading to adoption, and would prefer that both parents don't work full time during that period. So one of them – probably Deb – would have to give up work, but would be paid as a foster carer instead. I don't really think she'd mind; she likes the idea of just being a mum. They would be provided with a night nurse to sit with C, basically because she moves in her sleep and could pull the ventilator out accidentally. This nurse would be expected to go on holiday with them – the company would pay for a hotel.
There's still so much that needs to happen before any decisions are made on any side – there are so many people involved, who all have to make decisions. There's a lot of process and red tape. But that's the current state of affairs.
Plus, we go in under traders/exhibitors badges which, seeing as I'm an office flunky just about every other day of the year, is always kinda fun.
Course, though, even if I do get to bed early, chances of getting to sleep early are remote, what with the heat. Bring back spring...
Deb and Ray have had their first interview with the social worker, to talk about the little girl they might be matched with for adoption – there's been a number of couples interviewed, but they are apparently the front-runners. Apart from the fact that the head of the adoption agency they are with doesn't like fat people, and they are both rather large.
Very unfair if that is held against them. Deb's trigliceride and back problems are the reason she finds it hard to lose weight, and Ray put all his on after smashing his legs in a climbing accident and being laid up for months. Being large doesn't mean they wouldn't make fantastic parents.
The little girl, C, has been in hospital all her life, but there's actually not that much wrong with her. She has a condition kind of like sleep apnoea – basically, when she falls asleep, her body thinks she's dead and she stops breathing. Hence the ventilator. Other than that she is completely healthy – since she started school two years ago she has never missed a day.
She is in Southampton. Her parents are from Guernsey and visit her twice a week. They just sit by her bed and do nothing with her. They have never bought her clothes, toys, anything – everything she has, all her clothes, were bought for her by the nurses. Since her parents seem unlikely to ever do anything for her, social services went to court to get her released for adoption.
She needs to be out of hospital – she is growing up and getting bored. Her teaching assistant gets her dressed of a morning and takes her to school, and then after school takes her back to the hospital, puts her nightdress back on her, and leaves her. She is good at amusing herself with books and colouring, but she's six years old. She needs more than that.
She has learned that if she sneaks into the baby unit next door, she can turn all the monitors off and get the nurses to come running. A little monkey, apparently.
She recently went to the sleep centre in Bristol, and can apparently sleep for an hour before she stops breathing. It could be that as she grows older, her muscles will strengthen and she will outgrow the problem. But she might not. It will always be a concern, especially when she hits her teens and starts going out on her own. She could fall asleep in the bus or train, and stop breathing. Life is never simple.
The main concern of the judge who released her for adoption is that, having lived in hospital all her life, she might struggle to adjust to life with a home and family, so he's recommended a two year foster placement leading to adoption, and would prefer that both parents don't work full time during that period. So one of them – probably Deb – would have to give up work, but would be paid as a foster carer instead. I don't really think she'd mind; she likes the idea of just being a mum. They would be provided with a night nurse to sit with C, basically because she moves in her sleep and could pull the ventilator out accidentally. This nurse would be expected to go on holiday with them – the company would pay for a hotel.
There's still so much that needs to happen before any decisions are made on any side – there are so many people involved, who all have to make decisions. There's a lot of process and red tape. But that's the current state of affairs.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-07-26 06:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-26 06:48 pm (UTC)I'll be the idiot handing out free knitted toys opposite Marks and Spencer (along with my rather older colleagues...)
no subject
Date: 2006-07-26 09:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-26 06:49 pm (UTC)Twice weekly visits from Guernsey, even without activity, show some sort of commitment to their daughter, but perhaps it would have been better for her if they hadn't bothered. I wonder how they feel about it?
She certainly sounds like she'd be better off with your family though, so I hope it works out for them.
I have to be up at 5am tomorrow, so you have my sympathy - I hope you have a fun day. :)
no subject
Date: 2006-07-26 07:00 pm (UTC)She might end up with Deb and Ray, or she might end up with one of the other couples who've expressed an interest - all that really matters is that she ends up in a loving and stable home, instead of being stuck in a hospital room with little or no stimulation, poor little mite.
no subject
Date: 2006-07-26 08:07 pm (UTC)Sorry if I offended. x
no subject
Date: 2006-07-27 07:55 pm (UTC)It's always a weird kind of situation when the birth parents are involved in any way, but I don't really know enough about the situation to know what they are like. Doesn't sound like they are tremendously bothered, though.
I've seen so many parents with no interest in their own children, and it always amazes me every time.
no subject
Date: 2006-07-27 08:11 am (UTC)I feel bad for the poor girl... I hope that as she gets older her strength does develop to allow her to sleep on her own. And very good luck to Deb and Ray, I really hope they are accepted as guardians, and also hope that they've thought through all the implications of how this girl's condition might inconvenience them (but then again... that's parenthood).