Lle Llywela

On Saturday evening just gone, in the midst of the biggest security operation this city has ever seen, Real Madrid beat Juventus 4-1 to win the Champions League at the stadium once known as the Millennium Stadium, which for the purposes of this game and associated advertising regulations we were not permitted to call the Principality Stadium (its current name).

Also on Saturday evening, a group of terrorists launched an attack in London, killing seven people and wounding dozens more. My baby niece's 'other' aunt, her dad's sister, was not just in London at the time, but was actually in Borough, in the area directly affected. Her husband back home in Swansea with their three-year-old spent the night posting updates to Facebook for worried friends and relatives, updating us all on her progress as she was locked into a restaurant for safety, then evacuated to Vauxhall, then evacuated again, eventually found a taxi, and so on, before eventually making it back to the safety of the uncle's house she was staying at for the weekend. Thank God she's safe, but my heart goes out to those not so fortunate.

Two weeks ago, a lad I know was at the Ariana Grande concert in Manchester when it was attacked (a uni student, bless him, he rang his mam, who told him to go straight home because he'd be safe there, so he ran home and locked all the doors, only for swarms of police to descend on his street and carry out a controlled explosion at a house across the road; turns out, he lives in the same street as the terrorist!).

This world is a lot smaller than it sometimes feels.

On Saturday evening, before the bad news broke, I found myself thinking about personal fandom and the cycles it can go through. The Juventus team bus had driven past me the night before, as I was waiting for my bus home from work, and it occurred to me that once upon a time, back in the days of my youth when I was an avid follower of Italian football, I'd have been beyond thrilled to have the Champions League final taking place right here in my hometown. I'd have been so excited that Juventus were here to take part. I'd have followed the preparations for the game avidly, would have wanted to be involved in the four-day football festival, to experience the atmosphere and mingle among the fans. But those days are gone. I drifted away from football fandom quite some time ago, so much so that instead of being excited about the game, I mostly just found it to be a nuisance, upsetting the usual smooth running of my city. Times change, and so does personal fandom.

It got me thinking about the TV shows I've been fannish about, over the years, and how they tend to sit on something a bit like a carousel in my head and heart, circling round and round, in and out of current attention. Not every show I watch and enjoy ends up on the carousel, and I can't always define what it is about the ones which do that makes the difference, why it is that this show I merely enjoy but that one I am a fan of, but once a show is on the fandom carousel, that's it, it's there for good.

But all of those shows can't command my attention all at once, they have to take their turn in the spotlight, as it were. This show might be at the forefront of my attention for a while, but then the carousel will spin again, and I'll get back into an old show I once adored, bringing it circling back into the limelight for a time, or I'll discover a completely new show and fall head over heels, the carousel expanding to make room for it. My fandoms are always in motion, they have to be, because I love a lot of shows but have a strictly finite amount of free time to devote to them, so they have to take their turn.

Some of those turns last rather longer than others.

…perhaps that's why I drifted away from Italian football fandom – I was in it for the 'characters', maybe, that specific generation of players who'd captured my heart, rather than for the clubs or the game itself…so when that particular 'cast' aged out and moved on, so did I. I'd never looked at it like that before.

Football aside, only one show has ever fallen off my personal internal carousel (supernatural, I am looking at you), but some do end up shoved away at the back, out of sight and out of mind. There just aren't enough hours in the day or days in the week – and definitely not enough weekends in the year!

1. I've really not been great about posting lately, just never seem to get my head around composing anything sensible. Maybe I should just admit defeat and post something nonsensical instead!

2. Aunty Lel has now been moved to the Infectious Diseases Ward, which is a bit of an experience. They are much more restrictive about visiting up there and make us wear disposable pinnies and gloves! She seems to be holding her own; she isn't making that much progress, but is better than she was and certainly isn't getting worse. She still isn't eating properly, though, and keeps throwing up when she does try to eat, so they might have to put the feeding tube back down her nose if she carries on like this. It's going to be a very long haul.

3. The other day when I was at the hospital visiting, I ran into one of my old teachers, Mr Casterton, who taught me A'level Maths 16 years ago. More to the point, he recognised me, remembered my name and everything, whereas I had absolutely no idea who he was until he told me! In my defence, I was caught off-guard when he addressed me by name and had to run through a whole gamut of possible associations (someone I'd met at the hospital while visiting, someone from work, someone from a previous job, someone from uni...) and just hadn't got back as far as school before he reminded me. I knew who he was once he told me and then it was obvious, he hasn't changed that much. Clearly neither have I!

4. I bought a new telly this week. It's a lot smaller than my old one, both in terms of bulk and screen size, but is nonetheless a decent enough size for my needs, plus has all the mod cons I've been lacking all these years like wide screen, built-in freeview capacity, etc. The old one was a good TV in its day, but was donkey's years old, was already third hand when I was given it, was ridiculously bulky and heavy, has been dropped at least once, was not wide screen so cut off the edges of most shows as they are nearly all filmed in wide screen these days, and the picture quality was starting to deteriorate. Definitely time for a change. The new one turned into a bit of a saga, however. I got to the shop just before it closed on Tuesday and found one that I liked, but they only had one left, which was the display model. Since there was a discount on it because of being ex-display I was satisfied with that, bought it and took it home...only to find that they'd given me the wrong remote control for it. So, back I went to the shop again last night. They couldn't find the right remote control for my TV, although they did find the instruction manual, which is useful. But then they found a remote control for a Ferguson TV which is identical to the one I needed for my Toshiba TV, so they gave me that instead, and it works perfectly. Problem resolved - but what a faff!

5. Chelsea turned 15 last Saturday. How did she get to be so old! She remains extremely challenging, although her behaviour tends to fluctuate wildly depending on who she is friendly with at any given time. She just can't reconcile her own personality with that of a close friend, so instead of just being herself she takes on the personality traits and attitude of whoever she is closest to at the moment. And some of the kids she hangs out with are little horrors. She gets herself grounded on a regular basis, and those periods always come as a relief as she turns into Chelsea again, once separated from those external influences. Life with her is always going to be a rollercoaster, I suspect. I just hope she settles down a bit once she is past the turbulent years of adolescence.

6. Stuff continues to go on with the Cornwall crowd. Shanei went home to visit over Easter and came back saying that her mother had been snorting cocaine in front of her and was possibly also dealing drugs - although Nei does lie, so it is hard to know how much of what she says is true and how much is exaggeration. Also, it seems there was a case conference for the children last week and the mother well and truly went down in flames at it, admitted taking heroin and declared that she never wants anything to do with her f-ing children ever again, she hates them all, etc. Nothing she hasn't said before, of course, but this time she said it in front of the headteacher, social workers and police. Plus she has been posting pornographic images of herself on facebook for the whole world to see, including her children. Shanei has been bullied in school because of it, and probably the younger children too. A residence hearing has been called for later this month - and about time, too! I can't think what social services have been thinking, letting this state of affairs continue for so long. Hopefully sole residence will be granted to their father and the injunction against taking them out of Cornwall will be removed, so that D&R can help out more again.

7. Work continues busy, since I am now doing Sarah's job as well as my own. I met up with Sarah and baby Holly for lunch last week, though, and had lovely long baby cuddles. Holly is now three months old and three weeks past her due date, has hit 8lbs and is finally wearing newborn sized outfits. She is adorable - and so tiny still!


8. My cousin Rachel's new baby, Millie-Rose, is rather adorable, as well.


9. Seem to be building up a stockpile of pics that I really must get around to picspamming at some point.

10. Have booked tomorrow and Monday off work, so hooray for a long weekend - the break is much, much needed! My garden and I have big plans - I'm never going to get everything done that I want to!

It seems to have been ages since I posted, so I thought I'd better stick my head above the parapet to demonstrate that I am still alive, albeit drowning in work just at the moment!

Busy times. Work has been manic since Christmas, and it doesn't help that we're very short-staffed in our team at the moment. I've not been getting online much at home, either, what with one thing and another. Well, for one thing, I seem to have had a lot of houseguests just lately: Deb and Ray were with me for most of the week leading up to New Year, and they'd no sooner gone home than my Auntie Lel descended on me at about an hour's notice, and again stayed for the better part of a week. I really couldn't say no, though, when she phoned and asked if she could come. She had the builders in, and since she has dodgy lungs at the best of times and was in hospital with double pneumonia just before Christmas there was no way she could stay in her flat with all that dust and upheaval! She's pretty good company, though, on the whole, although a terrible gossip who rarely if ever shuts up - and she did a lot of housework for me during her stay, which was pretty handy, really, a bit like having a live-in housekeeper!

This Tuesday was a particularly manic day, as I spent it dashing back and forth across town for Haddon's funeral and our Winter Event in work. The Event was made more stressful as the colleague who'd been organising it with me is currently off sick, leaving me to do everything. Boss was absolutely fine about me taking half the day out to attend the funeral, but I felt really stressed out and anxious all day because of the two overlapping so that I couldn't give my full attention to either. Both went really well, though. We had plenty of volunteers for the work bash, and everyone seemed to really enjoy themselves, so I suppose all the work that went into organising it paid off. And the funeral was...well, lovely isn't really the right word for a funeral, but it kind of was, it was a lovely service – emotional, but uplifting, all the more so because everyone who took part knew Haddon personally and knew him well, so were all able to speak from the heart (which isn’t possible with more secular funerals led by officials who never met the deceased). Family aside, the service must have been hardest on Keith M, who gave the message, as he'd known Haddon longer than anyone – they were in infant school together back in the early '30s and have been friends ever since. That’s almost 80 years of close friendship, which is just remarkable! The funeral was absolutely packed - we had people crowded into the side cloakroom and out in the back annexe with a live video link so they could watch and take part. It was an incredible turnout for such a quiet, unassuming old man of 83 – and a fantastic tribute to him, which demonstrated louder than any words just how much he was loved and respected. I don’t think anyone ever heard Haddon say a bad word about anyone, and no one ever had a bad word to say about him. He was just the loveliest, gentlest, most generous person you could ever hope to meet, always had a smile for everyone, would do anything for anyone, nothing was ever too much trouble, never sought the limelight yet was a linchpin of our assembly. The tributes flowed throughout the service – Haddon would have hated it, being the centre of attention with everyone praising him so highly, but he deserved it. He was a treasure and we already miss him enormously.

In Other News, Alfie came on my lap last night and cwtched for a full hour while I was watching Midsomer Murders – a very, very rare honour indeed! Alfie hardly ever does laps, I think this was only the second time he’s been on my lap since he was a tiny wee kitten, so I made the most of it. Poppy got a bit jealous, though, as she usually gets me to herself in the cwtching department!

1. How is it only 10 days to Christmas? Wasn't it a full month just a minute ago? I felt so organised just the other week - well ahead on my cards, several gifts already purchased - and now all of a sudden it is sneaking up and I'm way behind on everything! I don't feel Christmassy at all yet, which isn't helping. Must get a grip and work out what I haven't done yet and get on with it. Like actually buying some stamps so I can post my non-local UK cards, which have been ready and waiting, stampless, for ages now.

2.I seem to have missed a lot of birthdays lately, so anyone who's had a birthday in the last couple of weeks - I hope it was a good one.

3. We're dropping like flies in work at the moment - I was the only one in my team today! Our attic was like the Marie Celeste. I swear, we didn't have this many people off at once even when swine flu was in full swing last year. I've still got my cold, as well - can't seem to shake it off. Roll on spring, eh!

4. At least it's been a bit warmer again lately. I'm not seeing as much of Macavity now the weather has improved, so he is clearly feeling perkier - less inclined to huddle up indoors, at least. They are forecasting more snow to come, though, so better make the most of the warm while it lasts.

5. I took a couple of days off work and decorated my bedroom last week, did rather a nice job too, if I do say so myself. Can't quite summon up the motivation to tidy everything away again after, though, so all my junk is still piled up in the spare room. Must get it all squared away before my Christmas house-guests arrive! My excuse is that I'm still feeling a bit poorly with this cold, so that in the evenings all I want to do is flop in front of the telly and not bother with much of anything. Fingers crossed it shifts soon, because I'm getting really fed up of it. Christmas hols can't come soon enough...you know, except for the not being ready part...

1. London Zoo is expensive. Even with a discount for a family ticket. Still, it's all booked and paid for now, which means we are committed to actually getting there on Tuesday! No backing out now.

2. Now all we have to do is figure out what to do all afternoon on Monday...

3. Funny how a teeny tiny trip to London that started out as just me and Chel for one day only has just grown and grown into a monster of a two day expedition that includes Deb and Ray and Ray's niece Shanei, who lives with them, and now, it turns out, possibly our cousin Veronica, as well, since she's just moved up to London with her boyfriend, as he has a new job up there, and is bored and lonely in their cramped little studio flat all day long, so would love to meet up with us while we're there...

4. Work is giving me a headache today. Too many meetings with too many technicians this week. I am ready for the weekend now!

5. It has been a long, long time since I attempted to write fanfic of any kind, but this week I've found myself dabbling with a long-abandoned WIP. There's nothing especially unusual about that, as I've looked through this WIP many times over the past couple of years, tweaking and fiddling with the bits that are written and then reading through the notes for how it was supposed to continue but not actually writing anything new. This, time, though, I suddenly find that 23 pages of actual story (as opposed to rough notes) have turned into 36 pages of actual story. Question: when you have written 13 pages of a story in what few free moments you have over the course of a week, does that mean you have to admit to yourself that you are actually writing again, or can it still be written off as simply playing around with something you have no intention of actually finishing?

6. Either way, do not expect to actually see this story anytime ever. Some projects simply were never intended to be finished.

7. Fingers crossed it doesn't rain tomorrow. Probably will, though, just because I don't want it to.

1. I watched me some Pros last night - haven't done that in far, far too long! It felt good to spend some time with the Lads again. I mustn't leave it so long next time.

2. It is becoming increasingly obvious that writing about TV isn't going to happen all that much this season - the thinky thoughts are all there still, but the time and energy aren't. Work is crazy busy at the moment, so that by the time I get home - bearing in mind that I don't actually have that many free evenings during the week anyway - all I want to do is fall over in a heap. I don't think that many people were reading my SN reviews anymore anyway, but for those that were, I'm sorry for the break in service! Maybe one day I'll catch up.

3. It's gone very cold this last week or two. Soon, I suppose, I am going to have to admit defeat and turn my central heating on!

4. We're having a joint 50th birthday party for my Dad's two youngest brothers today! That's his actual brother and the foster brother, btw - their birthdays are about 6 weeks apart, and this weekend falls roughly halfway between the two, so is the perfect time for a joint celebration. We're all going out for a meal together to celebrate - and by all, I mean probably close to 30 people, and that isn't even the whole family, just those able to get here this weekend! I'll have to take a headcount when I get there - I'm looking forward to my dinner at Walston Castle already!

Edit: I counted 31 of us at dinner, and that isn't even everyone who could have been there from the immediate extended family - 20 adults and 11 kids aged between 14 and 9 months! Yep, that was quite a gathering!

And 11 for Sunday lunch tomorrow...

1. Last Saturday, I went to a diamond wedding party at my church; the actual anniversary is today. Sixty years! Joan and Haddon are the dearest, sweetest old couple imaginable; huge congratulations to them. Rather touchingly, their best man from 60 years ago - who has been Haddon's best friend since they were in primary school together in the '30s - is still their best friend today, and was there to make a speech at the party! It was really touching. That kind of lifelong friendship is something most of us can only dream of these days, living in such a fast-paced and ever-changing world where no one ever seems to stay put for long.

2. The Ryder Cup is about to begin, apparently. This is something that would normally pass me by completely, but it has been rather forced upon my attention of late because of being staged locally for the first time. The actual event is being held at the Celtic Manor Resort, which is over on the other side of Newport, the next city along the coast, but here in Cardiff we are apparently seeing a lot of overspill. We are also hosting a lot of the events associated with the tournament, including whatever was going on in the city centre last night - a banquet at the Castle followed by a concert at the Millennium Stadium, I believe. I'm sure both were fabulous, for attendees, at least. From my point of view, battling to get through town to go home, they were little more than a nuisance!

3. It's Fresher's Week! This means that all of a sudden we are positively swimming in students. Pray God the network holds out, since we're still running without resilience currently.

4. The house next door has been sold and put up to let. If they ever manage to find any tenants, I'll have to keep an eye out to see what the new neighbours are like.

5. It has gone horribly cold and wet this week. Last week was the last hurrah for summer and it really is autumn now, it seems. My cats are most put out by the change in the weather and keep complaining to me about it!

6. In work, my team has taken over facilities management for our building. So far, I have learned far more than I ever wanted to about keys. And furniture disposal. It's gonna be downhill from here...

The dishwasher appears to have packed in. Just what I need.

Also, I very nearly set fire to the kitchen this evening. I was rushing, because I had an appointment for Poppy at the vet to get to (only a health check and booster vaccination, nothing wrong with her), and I switched on the wrong ring on the stove without realising it - wandered off to do other things for 5 minutes while the spaghetti (supposedly) cooked, and came back to find that the wooden spatula, which was lying across the ring that wasn't supposed to be on, was just smouldering into flame! Yikes! Hastily grabbed and flung it into the sink, and managed to burn the tips of a couple of fingers in the process.

Yeah, not my best evening. Could be worse, though. While I was at the vet, a lady came in with a kitten, no more than 14 weeks old, which had got jammed in the door and started having fits, poor little thing. Now, I may be a couple of fingers down for typing for a day or two, but at least my kitties are healthy and happy!

1. This is how Alfie feels about autumn setting in

He can sit like that for half an hour or more on a rainy day, holding the cat flap open and staring glumly out, waiting for it to dry up. Poppy isn't much better. They don't half mope when it is wet!

2. I'm looking into taking a night class this year - it's been ages since I did anything like that, and I miss the mental exercise (although have become so used to being lazy, I'm not sure I could get back into the swing of studying). I'm thinking maybe a refresher Welsh class, if I can find one that is a) the right level for me, b) in the right area, and c) slots into my limited available free time - at least I wouldn't have to worry about expense, as working for the university means I can enrol for free. Well, we'll see if anything comes of the idea, or if my natural apathy wins out!

...Meh, and my research shows that I would be at Foundation level, but the only classes available are on Monday or Wednesday evenings. Monday I absolutely can't do, and Wednesday would be awkward, so that could be that, alas, unless I can re-arrange my usual Wednesday commitment. Edit: and have now spoke to a course advisor, who recommends going for Intermediate, except that none of those classes are get-to-able, either! Ah well, it was a nice idea.

3. Of course, what I should do is pick up my driving lessons again, because it really would be useful to get that licence under my belt. My natural apathy is definitely winning on that front, however. It is the theory that is my big bugbear. I just can't make myself study it, and without that, there is no point pursuing the practical. Maybe one day...

4. The other day, I went with my friend Molly to sponsored walk being staged by candlelight at Dyffryn Gardens, in aid of Marie Curie Cancer Care. Now, neither of us had registered for the walk, nor collected any sponsors, but Moll had seen a small article about the walk in the newspaper and was keen to go and give a donation on the gate to take part, and since she is almost 70, increasingly scatty, and has survived cancer twice, I said I'd go with her. Now, I had just been to Dyffryn a couple of days earlier with the family (and will post pics if I ever remember to get my camera hooked up again) and paid entrance at the gate. This time, though, the main entrance was closed (because it was 8pm), while the side gate had been left open for participants...but with no one manning it. We went in. We found guides to point us in the right direction, but no one taking money. We did the walk, and I have to say that, as pretty as Dyffryn is by daylight, it was absolutely magical at dusk, lit by candlelight. There were small bands and singers at intervals around the course, just to add to the sense of occasion. It helped that it was such a lovely day, clear and dry. It was beautiful. But no one wanted to take our money! We could totally have had the evening for free, but instead went away and made a separate donation the next day, which was worth it for the experience. I hope they do it again next year!

5. Cuddly kitties.

Oooh, major filming going on outside the museum this morning - very interesting! I often see film crews setting up there, but they are usually taking stuff inside. This was an external shoot - lots of extras milling around and a catering station set up, plus ( possible Who spoilers behind cut ) I'd have taken photos, only I wasn't sure the crew would appreciate a passer-by whipping out a camera! They don't usually film at the musem on a Tuesday - Monday is filming day because the museum is closed, so they can hire it out and have the place to themselves. But maybe this was an early morning shoot already wrapping up, so as to be done before the musem opens to the public.

In other news, I was woken in the wee sma's by an alarm going off at one of the nearby stadia this morning - either the Athletics Stadium or the new Cardiff City Stadium, not sure which, as they are right alongside one another. That was fun. That alarm has gone off a few times lately, always the same - a siren followed by an echoey pre-recorded announcement over the tannoy, recurring; loud enough that I can hear it from my house, while distant enough that I can't make out the words. Whatever the fault is, I hope they get it fixed soon!

Also, my cats actually compete to be brushed and flea-combed - they push each other out of the way to get another turn! I'm sure that can't be normal.

And finally, I have been invited by central HR to join the staff redeployment register. My contract runs out in December, no news yet on whether or not it will be renewed.