stuff

[llywela]

1. I had a really weird dream last night. Woke me up at about 3am and then I couldn't get back to sleep. I dreamed that I woke up to find that the locks of hair that frame my face had turned bright straw-yellow, but the rest of my hair was still dark as usual. I was completely bewildered and spent the whole day wandering around the building - which was magically massive - knocking on doors asking people if they knew what had happened to my hair. And there were all kinds of weird people behind those doors. Strange dream!

2. I had a job interview at Welsh Assembly Government today. Not the shiny new Assembly building in the Bay, but the government building in Cathays Park. I was very impressed by their cafeteria. They have this spacious indoor garden area, semi-tropical, with ponds, fountains, footbridge and all kinds of plants and trees. Three or four storeys above the garden, the offices around it all have balconies overlooking this garden area. Nice view for the people who work in them!

3. Scenario. Imagine that your best friend in the world, someone you have known half your life and who was best man at your wedding, tells you that he is getting married and wants you to be his best man. Trouble is, the wedding is taking place on the other side of the world. But that's okay - you love him enough to give up your valuable time off work and pay a fortune to be there for his special, day, right? So you work overtime for weeks to accrue enough time off for the trip, book and pay for your tickets and accommodation, buy wedding outfits, etc. Then, just six weeks before the wedding, your friend turns around and announces that not enough people have agreed to come to make the occasion worthwhile, so it's all off. The people who have agreed to come aren't good enough to bother with. He and his fiancee are going to take a cruise later in the year and get married on the boat, without any of their friends and family present at all.

Kinda thoughtless and selfish, no? That's exactly what just happened to my sister and her husband. See, as some of you know, my brother-in-law comes from South Africa, and so does his mate Eddie, but they have both lived in England for about ten years now. Eddie got engaged at Christmas, and the wedding was planned for August, to take place in South Africa, and he wanted Ray to be his best man and Deb matron of honour. It was all arranged. The wedding would be held on an elephant reserve, with a safari in the morning and the wedding in the afternoon. Now, Ray has always wanted to take Deb to South Africa and show her the country he grew up in, but they have never been able to afford it. They still can't. But for Eddie's sake they decided they were going to have to find the money, and make it a once in a lifetime holiday. Deb has been having nightmares, about it as well - she's nervous of travelling to South Africa because there is still a lot of violence over there - that's why most of Ray's family moved over here. It's all booked and paid for, time off work organised, outfits purchased, visas arranged, and all the rest of it, just because of this wedding.

But then Eddie turned around and said that not enough people had agreed to come to the wedding, so rather than simply scale it back and enjoy the occasion with the loved ones who had made such a huge effort and gone to such expense to be there, they just aren't going to bother. The wedding as arranged is off, and they are going to take a cruise and get married on the boat with none of their friends or family present.

Maybe Eddie and his fiancee can afford to lose the amount of money they have already shelled out, but my sister and her husband can't. Now, I know it is their wedding and their day, and they have to do what is best for them. And maybe D&R would never have got around to their South Africa trip without this motivation. It is good timing for Ray, as the aunt who played a huge role in his upbringing has just been diagnosed with a brain tumour, so he will be able to see her while they are over there. But it just strikes me as incredibly selfish of Eddie and his fiancee to ask they people they supposedly love to go to so much trouble and expense on their behalf, only to up and cancel on such short notice, leaving everyone out of pocket. So maybe D&R might never have got around to it on their own - but on the other hand, they might have saved up and had a longer, better trip to Ray's homeland at a later date, when they were more financially secure and so would enjoy it more.

Bah. It just really annoys me when people are so self-centred and inconsiderate.

Comments

[lembeau.livejournal.com]

No, that's really not cool, at all. I get that they changed their mind about their wedding, but so close to the wedding, when they should know that people have already bought tickets and aren't refundable, I'm not saying have the wedding, but at least maybe a reception to say to the people who did bother to make an effort, thank you?

Just really inconsiderate. I hope your sister and BiL have a wonderful time there, regardless.

*shakes head* Some people, I swear.

[llywela13.livejournal.com]

It's so annoying - they do know how much trouble and expense everyone has gone to. And...the wedding they had planned sounded absolutely beautiful, to take place at the elephant's watering hole with elephants wandering around in the background. So not everyone invited agreed to come, so what? All their closest friends and family would be there. They could have told the sanctuary that it would be a smaller gathering and that they could take other bookings on the day, and still had that dream wedding with friends and family around them. They'd paid so much money for it themselves already, why completely change the plan at this late stage? It is very, very inconsiderate. Stupid self-centred people.

I'm sure D&R will manage to have an amazing holiday anyway. D is very concerned about the violence over there - working as a paramedic, R had some really bad experiences before making the decision to migrate. His family are from Zimbabwe originally, fled to South Africa from the troubles there, and Zimbabweans are being targeted pretty badly in South Africa at the moment. But I'm sure they will be fine just for a short visit. They have a full itinerary planned. It's just a bit galling to have their entire reason for making the trip cancelled on them at such a late stage, with no thought or consideration for their trouble and expense.

[lembeau.livejournal.com]

It's even worse that they knew all the trouble everyone went through and still weren't considerate enough. Truly self-centered and just plain mean. Your sister and BiL can't be the only ones who'd already bought tickets, right? If anything, they should have their own party and not invite the causers of stupidity.

I'm glad they've got a full trip planned out and are taking advantage of a not so good situation. Have no fear, everything will work out for them. I know there's a bit of fear, but they know what to expect, right? And they would also know what to do in case of any event, so they are going in prepared. It'll be fine. I'll even keep my fingers crossed. :O)

[kilynn16.livejournal.com]

That IS a strange dream. My dreams often end up with me wondering around buildings as well. I wonder what that means?

That's pretty self-centered of Eddie and his fiancee. I get that it's their wedding and they can do what they want and everything, but they really should've thought all this out before your sis and b-i-l and others had committed themselves. Utterly thoughtless.

[llywela13.livejournal.com]

My best dream ever remains the one where I was on a flight to Scotland that took a detour through a non-existent cave system in mid-Wales, and the plane had to land - obviously, because we were going underground. So we (me and all the weird people on the flight with me) found ourselves in this wacky labyrinth full of pitfalls and obstacles that had to be overcome before we could reach the other side, get back on the plane (which must have, I don't know, teleported to the other side?) and continue our journey.

Yeah. Dreams are odd.

I'm very cross on my sister's behalf about this wedding fiasco. But I'm sure they will have a good holiday anyway. They just really can't afford it, and wouldn't have spent that money if Eddie hadn't asked.

[siluria]

Bah. It just really annoys me when people are so self-centred and inconsiderate.

My number one pet peeve, in fact I feel really angry for D&R, I hope they have a good holiday though.

[llywela13.livejournal.com]

Yeah. It's so inconsiderate - the wedding sounded beautiful, but it was a big ask in the first place, to expect everyone to shell out so much money to get there. So to then do this u-turn and leave all the people high and dry who were willing to go to that much expense to to be at their wedding seems like the height of rudeness!

[wildcard-sej.livejournal.com]

So Eddie & his fiancee have got his closest friends and family travelling to his home country on the other side of the world for what is effectively now an expensive and inconvenient wild goose chase, because they've changed their wedding plans, and now they're not even going to bother to make the trip themselves? Some friend he is. And as for not inviting anyone to his plan B wedding, I think he'll be lucky if he can get anyone to put themselves out for him again after treating them like that. Unbelievable!

Still, I hope D&R have a great time over there anyway. What area are they going to, do you know?

[llywela13.livejournal.com]

Yep, that's about the size of it.

D&R will have an amazing time. It's just really galling, the situation they have been put in by a supposedly close friend. They are going to travel around a fair bit - Ray grew up in Johannesburg, but wants to show Deb as much of the country as is possible in the two weeks they will be there, although several days will be given over to the aunt, who is so unwell.

[babelmira.livejournal.com]

What selfish bastards. They'd be ex-friends if it was me. I hope Debs and her man are still taking the holiday and I hope they have a lovely time. Without arseholes.

[llywela13.livejournal.com]

Yes, indeed, D&R will still be taking their holiday, and I'm sure they will have an amazing time. It's just the rudeness and selfishness that is so galling.