trying to compose some thoughts
Sep. 21st, 2006 06:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
llywelaDeb and Ray were turned down by the medical panel.
Mum called my mobile while I was on the way home tonight. Ray had taken the day off work to wait in for the phone call, as Deb had inspection stuff to deal with in school. He was in bits after hearing from them, called Deb in school, and she called Mum right away.
I was all fired up to make complaints if it all went south, because I'm not convinced the agency are following proper procedures, but everything is up in the air now.
Turned down on medical grounds. They passed their medicals. Their doctor was really pleased with them.
Maybe it's just an excuse because of all the fuss with Susan stirring things up. She'll be delighted she's succeeded in screwing it up for them.
Came home and cried.
Then Mum called again. Deb went home and phoned the agency, and spoke to the head honcho, who said she was really shocked by the medical panel's decision, as she'd thought it was just a formality. She wants to keep them on her books and for them to appeal. But C is being taken off reserve, and will have to go to the second best couple. They were all geared up for this child. They would have been absolutely perfect for her. All the social workers involved with her thought so. Absolutely perfect. But now they won't be able to have her.
Apparently, the medical panel queried their weight, and okay they are both large, but they are not unhealthy. They passed the medical. But the medical panel still sees fit to turn them down. The panel also queried why they aren't having babies of their own and why they want to adopt an older child.
WTF?
First, Deb can't have children of her own. But apparently the form the doctor had to fill in didn't have a section to indicate infertility, so that wasn't made clear. The head honcho has said they will have to alter their forms to allow for that. But that's beside the point - you can't turn someone down for adoption on the grounds that you think they should be making babies of their own! They should be glad that couples want to adopt children, whether they are able to have their own or not. There are enough kids out there in need of loving families! Surely the reason why they are applying to adopt is for the social work panel to discuss, and is not the business of the medical panel?
Second - querying them wanting to adopt an older child? How is that the business of a medical panel? How is that grounds for refusing? The vast majority of couples wanting to adopt are looking for babies, but the vast majority of children in need of adoption are older. They should be delighted that this couple are prepared to take on an older child with massive medical needs, not turning them down because they don't understand why they would want to.
Furious. Devastated.
Head honcho wants them to appeal. I want to make formal complaints. Mum thinks they should try another agency.
Thank God I'm on my own in work tomorrow. I can sit and cry in privacy.
Mum called my mobile while I was on the way home tonight. Ray had taken the day off work to wait in for the phone call, as Deb had inspection stuff to deal with in school. He was in bits after hearing from them, called Deb in school, and she called Mum right away.
I was all fired up to make complaints if it all went south, because I'm not convinced the agency are following proper procedures, but everything is up in the air now.
Turned down on medical grounds. They passed their medicals. Their doctor was really pleased with them.
Maybe it's just an excuse because of all the fuss with Susan stirring things up. She'll be delighted she's succeeded in screwing it up for them.
Came home and cried.
Then Mum called again. Deb went home and phoned the agency, and spoke to the head honcho, who said she was really shocked by the medical panel's decision, as she'd thought it was just a formality. She wants to keep them on her books and for them to appeal. But C is being taken off reserve, and will have to go to the second best couple. They were all geared up for this child. They would have been absolutely perfect for her. All the social workers involved with her thought so. Absolutely perfect. But now they won't be able to have her.
Apparently, the medical panel queried their weight, and okay they are both large, but they are not unhealthy. They passed the medical. But the medical panel still sees fit to turn them down. The panel also queried why they aren't having babies of their own and why they want to adopt an older child.
WTF?
First, Deb can't have children of her own. But apparently the form the doctor had to fill in didn't have a section to indicate infertility, so that wasn't made clear. The head honcho has said they will have to alter their forms to allow for that. But that's beside the point - you can't turn someone down for adoption on the grounds that you think they should be making babies of their own! They should be glad that couples want to adopt children, whether they are able to have their own or not. There are enough kids out there in need of loving families! Surely the reason why they are applying to adopt is for the social work panel to discuss, and is not the business of the medical panel?
Second - querying them wanting to adopt an older child? How is that the business of a medical panel? How is that grounds for refusing? The vast majority of couples wanting to adopt are looking for babies, but the vast majority of children in need of adoption are older. They should be delighted that this couple are prepared to take on an older child with massive medical needs, not turning them down because they don't understand why they would want to.
Furious. Devastated.
Head honcho wants them to appeal. I want to make formal complaints. Mum thinks they should try another agency.
Thank God I'm on my own in work tomorrow. I can sit and cry in privacy.
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no subject
Date: 2006-09-21 05:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-21 06:04 pm (UTC)Can they appeal?
no subject
Date: 2006-09-21 06:44 pm (UTC)So sorry for you all. *hugs*
no subject
Date: 2006-09-21 07:03 pm (UTC):::HUGS::: To you and your family. What an unforgivable process to put you through (not to mention that poor child) - It's disgusting.
no subject
Date: 2006-09-21 07:32 pm (UTC)I think they should appeal if they can. The reasons are obviously pathetic. Why on earth query why they want an older child - everyone knows older children are even more difficult to place.
no subject
Date: 2006-09-21 07:33 pm (UTC)I'm so sorry to hear that, I don't understand why they would refuse the love of two wonderful parent for a child. It's unbelievable who ironic our society can be sometimes...
All my support to your sister and your family.
no subject
Date: 2006-09-21 09:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-21 10:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-21 10:17 pm (UTC)I am so sorry about this hon, I really hope they do appeal. How an incredibly unfair and unreasonable decision... it sounds like your sister and brother in law are extremely fit for adopting a child with special needs, I wonder what is wrong with that panel...
*hugs*
no subject
Date: 2006-09-21 10:46 pm (UTC)This is devastating!!!
all I can say, When GOD closes a door, somewhere, somehow, he will open a window.
Keep Faith.
*hugs*
no subject
Date: 2006-09-22 07:03 am (UTC)I'm sorry honey, and wish Deb & Ray all the strenght with this stupid news :( *hugs*
no subject
Date: 2006-09-22 10:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-22 12:51 pm (UTC)They sounded like they were perfect. I don't understand that panel one bit, and I hope that Deb and Ray appeal.
no subject
Date: 2006-09-22 06:19 pm (UTC)