a day of two funerals
Sep. 22nd, 2005 11:55 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
llywelaAfter two deaths in two days, today we have two funerals in one day.
Once upon a time, Larry was married to my dad's oldest sister, Joan. I don't remember him all that well, because Joan died just before I turned nine, and he drifted out of touch after that - went well off the rails, ended up in prison, but then turned his life back around and re-married. He died of cancer last Friday, and the saddest thing about it was hearing that when my dad's other sister Lesley went to see him just a couple of days earlier, he said to his wife, "You can go now. Joan is here." He thought she was his 19 years dead wife come back to him. :-(
Joan, I remember better, even though I was so young when she died. She used to visit us every week - several times a week, even - bringing her little dog Brandy with her. She was lots of fun. But it was only much later, years after she died, that I learned that she wasn't visiting us as a family so much. She was visiting me in particular. Joan had tried for years to have a baby, without success. When she finally fell pregnant at last, at the same time that my mum was expecting me, she was delighted...but then she lost the baby, and was devastated. Already over 40, she knew then that she would never have a child of her own. And then I was born, and my parents named me after her (Joan - Joanna), so I became her special baby, out of all the nephews and nieces - the child she never had. I wish I could have had the chance to know her as an adult.
Joan died on her 50th birthday. She was diabetic, had a turn and couldn't get to her meds in time. We inherited her little dog Brandy, and in classic Eastenders style, my aunt Lesley went into labour at the funeral. A fortnight later I turned nine, and Larry gave me a beautiful silver pendant that had been Joan's. It was the last contact, I think, that I had with him.
RIP Larry and Joan. Hopefully they are together again now.
Mike was a really, really close family friend, both him and his wife Joyce. When he died last week it was an enormous shock. I'd just seen him a few days before, and he was as fit as a fiddle, happy and enjoying life, and looking forward to going into hospital to have his hip replaced - hoping it would make him a whole new him. I gave him a big kiss and hug and wished him good luck. I didn't know then it would be the last time I saw him. :-(
The funeral is going to be really emotional, I already know that. And I'm dreadful at funerals anyway. I get all choked up, try not to cry, and end up sniffling miserably. I feel sad knowing that Mike is gone, and devastated for his family - for Joyce, who is left behind to mourn. They were such a devoted couple. But they have a large family who are supporting her wonderfully, and lots of friends who will also do everything they can to help. But really, there's not much anyone can do to help. It will be hardest for her tomorrow, when the funeral is over and she has to get on with normal life, but normal isn't there any more. All we can do is pray for her, and be there for her, for as long as it takes.
RIP Mike.
Once upon a time, Larry was married to my dad's oldest sister, Joan. I don't remember him all that well, because Joan died just before I turned nine, and he drifted out of touch after that - went well off the rails, ended up in prison, but then turned his life back around and re-married. He died of cancer last Friday, and the saddest thing about it was hearing that when my dad's other sister Lesley went to see him just a couple of days earlier, he said to his wife, "You can go now. Joan is here." He thought she was his 19 years dead wife come back to him. :-(
Joan, I remember better, even though I was so young when she died. She used to visit us every week - several times a week, even - bringing her little dog Brandy with her. She was lots of fun. But it was only much later, years after she died, that I learned that she wasn't visiting us as a family so much. She was visiting me in particular. Joan had tried for years to have a baby, without success. When she finally fell pregnant at last, at the same time that my mum was expecting me, she was delighted...but then she lost the baby, and was devastated. Already over 40, she knew then that she would never have a child of her own. And then I was born, and my parents named me after her (Joan - Joanna), so I became her special baby, out of all the nephews and nieces - the child she never had. I wish I could have had the chance to know her as an adult.
Joan died on her 50th birthday. She was diabetic, had a turn and couldn't get to her meds in time. We inherited her little dog Brandy, and in classic Eastenders style, my aunt Lesley went into labour at the funeral. A fortnight later I turned nine, and Larry gave me a beautiful silver pendant that had been Joan's. It was the last contact, I think, that I had with him.
RIP Larry and Joan. Hopefully they are together again now.
Mike was a really, really close family friend, both him and his wife Joyce. When he died last week it was an enormous shock. I'd just seen him a few days before, and he was as fit as a fiddle, happy and enjoying life, and looking forward to going into hospital to have his hip replaced - hoping it would make him a whole new him. I gave him a big kiss and hug and wished him good luck. I didn't know then it would be the last time I saw him. :-(
The funeral is going to be really emotional, I already know that. And I'm dreadful at funerals anyway. I get all choked up, try not to cry, and end up sniffling miserably. I feel sad knowing that Mike is gone, and devastated for his family - for Joyce, who is left behind to mourn. They were such a devoted couple. But they have a large family who are supporting her wonderfully, and lots of friends who will also do everything they can to help. But really, there's not much anyone can do to help. It will be hardest for her tomorrow, when the funeral is over and she has to get on with normal life, but normal isn't there any more. All we can do is pray for her, and be there for her, for as long as it takes.
RIP Mike.
