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llywelaOkay, so as usual this got a little longer than I intended - and took longer than I intended. Also, it's been a very disrupted and unsettled couple of days, so I had trouble getting my brain to stop whirring, and as a result might not be as coherent as I'd like to be.
Metamorphosis
Wahey! Finally we get to see inside Sam's head – a whole episode told from Sam's point of view, even! That doesn't happen much any more, considering he started out as the POV character for the entire show.
We've seen very little of Sam so far this season, and what we have seen of him has been hard to decipher at times, so it comes as a tremendous relief to be allowed this insight, at last, and to know that our gut instinct is correct – Sam is still Sam, whatever the rights and wrongs of his choices and actions, and that worryingly cold façade we've been seeing lately was a mask, behind which all his inner turmoil could be concealed.
Hopefully, now we've reached this point of insight, Sam's state of mind will be further explored, to allow us full understanding of the personal hell he went through while his brother was languishing in the actual hell, and the impact that had on his decision-making process.
The confrontations between the brothers in this episode are perfect, each of their stances completely and utterly in keeping with the position each of them finds himself in, and each of them making entirely valid points about the other's attitude or actions. It isn't about either one being wholly in the right or wholly in the wrong; it is about the unique perspective on their situation that each of them has. About the fact that Dean, to all intents and purposes, fell asleep in May and woke up in September, unchanged, while Sam had to live through those four months, alone with his grief and his guilt and his despair, and it changed him. They have to relearn how they fit together, and it is going to be a very rocky road – both messy and painful.
Sam
We'll take Sam first, for the sheer novelty of having insight into his mindset for the first time this season. For as long as Dean didn't know what he was doing, for as long as he was able to maintain absolute separation between the two lives he was leading, Sam could bury his head in denial and think only of the positives – his carefully constructed rationalisations and justifications – while ignoring his reservations completely.
We already know that he has been conflicted about what he's doing – he admitted as much in Lazarus Rising. It probably felt a hell of a lot clearer when Dean was dead, all his guilt and inner conflict channelled into reckless determination – after all, he had nothing left to lose, so what the hell did any of it matter? It felt good to take his 'curse' and achieve something good with it, so that was all he allowed himself to think about, repressing all his doubts about what his power might be connected to and what making use of it might do to him.
Sam is a good person. He has been terrified since season one of what his powers meant, horrified at the thought of something evil inside him. He resisted his dark destiny so resolutely for such a long time, only to lose everything and everyone he ever cared about in the process. So, in his grief and desperation, he changed tack – maybe off his own volition, maybe in response to Ruby's coaxing – and he tried to make use of his curse and bend it to good. "I've saved more people in the last five months than we've saved in a year!" he tells Dean, and the thought of those lives he was saving must have been what kept him going during his months alone, the knowledge that he could at least achieve something positive in his damnation, the hope that maybe he could tip the scales in his own favour if only he saved enough lives. "I'm a whole new level of freak. And I'm just trying to take this curse…and make something good out of it."
Since Dean has been back Sam has been torn, but clung to the path he had chosen to go down rather than face up to any kind of self-examination, hiding the truth from Dean to stave off the inevitable confrontation. So, having Dean walk in on him? It's a double-whammy, and he is immediately thrust onto the back foot, having to defend himself against his brother's fury while simultaneously having to deal with his own doubts as they come crashing down, all his illusions shattered. He is forced onto the defensive right from the start, never a comfortable or easy position from which to debate. And this means that even if he wanted to, he has no opportunity to share any of his thought processes or inner doubts with Dean, because he is too busy defending himself against his brother's attack, forced to defend his actions despite his own uncertainties.
Sam must have been quietly freaking out about the demon blood for a very long time now, over a year – repressing his terrible fears because Dean's situation took priority. As Sam points out, it is something that Dean can never truly understand or share with his brother because he has never been in that position. More than ever, this creates an automatic divide between them.
Dean
When you look at the situation from Dean's point of view, it is equally shattering. When we first see him at the start of the episode, he is still reeling – he's had a hell of a night. He woke from nightmares of hell to be accosted by an angel and catapulted into the past, and after that it was just one sucker punch after another. He was confronted by his parents in their youth, learned the truth about his family history, saw both maternal grandparents murdered, learned what the Yellow-Eyed Demon did to his brother, and watched his mother seal the deal that both ensured his existence and damned the entire family. Then it was back to the angel, dropping the whole 'save him or kill him' burden onto his shoulders yet again from a very great height, but this time with the added fun twist of: if you don't stop him, we will. And we all saw what the weight of that did to him in season two, trying to save his brother from something so massive and unknown and terrifying.
It won't be any less of a devastating burden this time, especially if he and Sam are at odds rather than working together, and especially since someone else has their finger on the trigger this time, which can't help but add an extra helping of urgency and desperation. Sam said it himself last season: this is how Dean acts when he is terrified – he gets loud and he gets violent and he gets obnoxious. He has got every reason to be terrified right now, with Sam actively developing powers given to him by a demon whose endgame remains unknown and an angel threatening his brother's life if he doesn't stop him, all the while with an actual Apocalypse unfolding all around them. It is massive, and Dean is just one man. He's seemed so strong since he came out of hell, but now? He's starting to unravel, season two-style.
Seeing Sam using his psychic powers was pretty much a knockout blow. In my recap for No Rest For The Wicked, I wrote that while the deal Dean made was about saving Sam's life, going through with payment was about saving Sam's soul, and that fact comes strongly into play here. Dean went to hell rather than let Sam forge an alliance with Ruby to unlock his psychic powers, preferred to die than see his brother indenture himself to a demon and start sliding down that dark and slippery slope. So to find out that once he was gone Sam went ahead and did all that anyway must be like the most tremendous kick in the teeth, an enormous betrayal, meaning that all his suffering and torment was for nothing.
And you have to wonder how that will impact on Dean's reaction to his slowly returning memories of his time in hell.
Confrontation
Man, that first confrontation is just heartbreaking. Both brothers are utterly devastated, deeply hurt and on the verge of tears, and neither of them know how to handle this.
Dean's reaction is informed by his feelings of betrayal, terror and desperation, his anger burning hot and fast. It hits both Sam and viewers hard to see him packing his bags ready to leave – Dean, the one who never leaves. "You don't need me," he mutters, telling us very clearly just how deeply betrayed he feels by the extent of Sam's deception.
Would he have actually left, or was he just trying to make his point? I doubt even Dean knows – he is just flailing desperately at that point, in the same way that he lashes out at Sam and at the room in general, because he simply doesn't know what to do with the weight and intensity of the fear and anger and desperation he is feeling.
Sam makes no attempt to avoid Dean's punches, even though he kind of telegraphs them – maybe because he hopes it will make his brother feel better, or maybe because he feels so guilty and desperate and conflicted he thinks he deserves it. He is just so, so completely and utterly crushed – by the weight of his shattered illusions as much as by the intensity of his brother's anger. And then, man, by the shock of Castiel's warning.
He was so delighted at the thought of having an angel on their side. He never dreamt it might not approve of him. So to find out that the angel warned his brother against him? It's just shattering, devastating – heartbreaking.
Dean's anger, as always, runs hot and fast and burns itself out very quickly. We have seen that many times on the show. In the car we see that he is swift to let the furious argument lie and tell Sam everything he just experienced. Full disclosure has been his policy all season so far – which just makes it all the more of a kick in the teeth to discover the depth of Sam's deception.
Talking about their mother, about their parents' youthful hopes and dreams…it is a really beautiful moment for the brothers to share. Sam sounds so reverent when he asks about Mary – there's not even a hint of envy that Dean has yet another memory of her that is denied to Sam.
Sam takes it hard, though – the notion of that deal, which damned him. And then he slips up and mentions the demon blood, which Dean hadn't mentioned – either because he didn't like to bring it up so soon after their massive argument and risk another one, or because he hadn't got to it yet. And it becomes just another brick in the wall that is fast growing between them, a wall that neither of them wants, a wall that is hurting them both, but exists nonetheless.
Dean always tries to make Sam feel better, and can't maintain his anger against his little brother for any length of time. But Sam isn't as receptive as he used to be – they can't go back to how things were. Where Dean is willing and even anxious to talk things through, apologising for his reaction and admitting how much the whole thing scares him, Sam just can't face the conversation. When Sam tries to explain that this isn't something Dean can help with, it is his issue to deal with, Dean firmly tells him he doesn't have to deal with it alone – but where once Sam would have appreciated the support, now he is just frustrated that Dean isn't getting it. They still haven't worked out how they fit together now.
Because Dean was dead for four months and is now alive again, and is unchanged, but Sam has changed, and the result is this gaping, painful gulf between them. It is the price they have to pay for both of their lives.
Sam's powers
So just why are Sam's powers such a big deal, and why does it matter so much that he is using them? He is doing good, after all, exorcising demons, saving lives, and trying to find Lilith, who is such a huge threat. It only works on demons, he tells Dean, and that is an important point. He should be able to do a lot more – Jake's powers developed extremely fast, once he unlocked them. But it is clear that Sam has actively chosen not to explore his full range of powers in any way, but rather found just this one that seemed most benign, one with which he could achieve something good. He had promised Dean not to use his powers, but he could justify just this one to himself, because he was doing good and it was only the one power…
But, as Dean points out, it is a slippery slope. And the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
On the one hand, of course, it is possible that Show will pull a double switch on us at some point and reveal these powers as nothing to worry about after all… but given the balance of evidence it seems unlikely. For more than three seasons now Sam's powers have been inextricably linked to their demonic source and to the dark destiny he feared so much. The Yellow-Eyed Demon had big plans for his chosen one, and both Ruby's interest and Castiel's warning imply that those plans have not necessarily gone anywhere just because Azazel is dead. We have seen how easily both Ava and Jake were consumed by their power once they opened themselves up to it.
No matter how careful Sam believes he is being, he is taking an enormous risk, and it is the potential damage to Sam's soul that is the big cause of concern, and always has been. These powers were given to him by the YED for evil purposes, and Sam has been taking guidance from a demon, whose agenda remains unknown. Ruby cannot be trusted. At the end of the day, how Sam uses his powers might not ultimately matter – it is the fact of his using them at all that lies at the heart of Castiel's warning.
Or is it his alliance with Ruby that is causing the concern, over and above what his powers might mean for him?
Ruby
I really, really want some insight into Ruby's endgame now. She has always been a difficult character to make out, largely because she doesn't have any natural confidante. The only person she really talks to is Sam, and we can't rely on her to be telling him the truth at any given time, so we have no opportunity to gain insight into her motivations and ambitions.
My gut tells me, however, that she isn't to be trusted in the slightest, and that her change in attitude this season is merely the latest phase of the very clever long game she is playing. Last season she tried to bribe and bully Sam into submission, using Dean's life as bait, pushing and goading, but none of it worked, and Sam held firm and refused to give in to the pressure, refused to unlock his powers.
So now? Well, since hardening Sam up as a soldier didn't work, she has switched to a far more effective softly, softly approach this season. She is coaxing him along rather than goading, taking his desire to save lives and using it as the key to unlocking his powers. Carrot instead of stick. It might be slow going, but it has always been clear that Ruby is prepared to take her time in order to achieve her final goal, whatever that might be.
What is also clear is that although Ruby is playing nice with Sam and helping him save lives, she is doing so because she needs to keep Sam on side and maintain his trust, and not because she cares about the lives they are saving in any way. She would not have hesitated to kill Dean if Sam hadn't called her off – she is certainly no Lenore. No, her helpful attitude is definitely a means to an end with Sam, rather than stemming from her own beliefs. She is a dangerous guide for Sam to be following.
Also? I still do not believe that Sam has been sleeping with Ruby. I believe it even less after seeing him so very Sammy in this episode. After all, his demon-exorcising missions with Ruby have all been carried out at night, from what we've seen, and we've seen demons using sexual language to describe the indenture of human souls before. So, I don't think Sam is sleeping with her – but I do believe that his alliance with her is dangerous and wrong.
Castiel
Castiel might not be in this episode, but it is worth considering him, alongside Ruby. He is an angel, a warrior for the side of good. That much seems pretty definitively established. But it is also very clear that he is not benign or benevolent in any way, and can be manipulative in the extreme, his intentions not necessarily to be trusted any more than Ruby's. Here, he effectively wound Dean up like a toy soldier and pointed him at his brother – was that a deliberate strategy, we have to wonder, manipulating both brothers? Or was it another example of his lack of insight into how human emotions and reactions really work?
Castiel's interest lies in the Big Picture. So where do the Winchester brothers fit into that picture, we have to wonder? For what ultimate purpose was Dean singled out to be dragged out of hell? Why is Sam so important? Is this intervention about saving Sam for Sam's own sake or for Dean's? Is it important to the angelic forces that Sam remains in play, for some reason, rather than being struck down on the spot?
So many questions, and hopefully the season ahead will provide many answers.
Travis
The character of Travis feels more like a plot device than a character, in many ways. Establishing him as an old contact of John's, someone the brothers knew well enough in their youth to greet with a hug, means that he us automatically established as someone they trust and respect, a reliable source, no questions asked. But he is also someone they haven't seen in 10 years, and therefore don't really know, which allows him to follow a dark course they could not anticipate.
The reason why they haven't seen him in 10 years is not touched on. However, despite those 10 years, Travis knew to contact Sam on a number we know he has had for less than 5 months. Does this imply that he has been in sporadic contact throughout the 10 years? He makes no comment on Dean's death and resurrection, which surely he must have heard something about – and you'd think, as a hunter, he'd be fascinated. And why is he asking the boys for help at all, if he hasn't seen them in so many years? Because the recent culls of hunters have decimated his contact list? Too many unanswered questions.
The point of the character, of course, is to highlight the stance of the average hunter, accentuating Dean's pointed observation that if he didn't know Sam he would want to hunt him. Hunters work a very harsh job and tread a very fine line, risking their lives over and over. I'm sure many would prefer the pre-emptive stance rather than risk a potential killer walking free – it's one of the reasons Dean has always feared Sam's powers. Just look at Gordon's reaction to them. And Travis is the old-school, grizzled variety of hunter, worn down by too many years in the job, unwilling to take any chances – he'd rather kill and be done with it than waste time he maybe cannot afford looking for alternatives.
It is a shame, really, that the Show ultimately brought Travis down on the Gordon side of extremism. Maybe necessary to facilitate the plot, but it does call the man's judgement into question a little sharply, whereas it would be interesting to see a more measured, even-handed reaction – and then project that onto Sam's situation.
Monster of the Week
The Monster of the Week in this episode is intriguing, but feels rather crammed in there for the sake of having a case for the brothers to work – and is overwhelmingly anvilicious, so that on the one hand we really don't need Dean to point the parallels out to us, but on the other can be glad that at least the characters have noticed all the anvils landing on their heads!
The main point of the MOTW story, aside from Sam's reaction to it, is of course to ensure that the brothers are tossed into action while in the middle of their dispute, allowing them no opportunity to step back, take a breath, and search for some resolution. This means that inevitably both of their reactions to the case are going to be heavily coloured by the inner turmoil they are going through.
And Sam, in consequence, slides straight back into season two mode: identifying with the supernatural creature of the week and seeing them as a metaphor for his own situation. Bless him, he gets so excited and gleeful when he thinks he has found a solution to any problem – the hope just lights him up. "We're not going to kill him unless he does something to get killed for," he insists, because if this imminent rugaru can be saved, then maybe so can Sam.
And it means that the roles have reversed yet again – last season Sam was all about the kill, the ends justifying the means, trying hard to toughen himself up, while Dean played devil's advocate.
Dean goes along with Sam – tries hard to convince the man to repress his terribly hunger, hoping to prevent him making that final transformation from which there can be no turning back. The brothers might be divided on fundamental issues, but there are still places where they can meet. And Sam in his turn doesn't hesitate to run after the man with a flamethrower when an innocent life is at risk – doesn't hesitate to torch him when he is about to kill Dean.
"You have this dark pit inside you, I know. Believe me, I know. But that doesn't mean you have to fall into it. You don't have to be a monster. […] It doesn't matter what you are. It only matters what you do." Bless his heart, Sam has been clinging desperately to that belief for such a long time, so desperately hoping that if he can make it true about something – anything – that they hunt, just maybe it can also be true for himself.
It doesn't matter what you are. It only matters what you do. It is about choices – choosing to be evil, or choosing to be good. Yay, and we're back to free will over predestination.
Resolution?
"These powers. It's playing with fire. I'm done with them. I'm done with everything."
"That's a relief. Thank you."
"Don't thank me. I'm not doing it for you, or for the angels, or for anybody. This is my choice."
On the one hand, Sam's decision to stop using his powers seems a little abrupt, but on the other it is entirely understandable. He had admitted his reservations in the past, but couldn't bring himself to give in just then – he just needed the shock of Dean catching him out and the bitter realities of this case to give him the push he needed. He wasn't able to save Jack from himself, and Travis's intervention means that there can be no way of ever knowing if Jack could somehow have restrained himself. For Jack, just one bite was too many, no going back, and seeing that clearly terrified and devastated Sam.
Dean is going to find it very hard to trust his brother for probably a very long time, having found out the depth of Sam's deception. And we might equally ask whether or not Sam can truly trust himself? His powers are unlocked now. However sincere he is in his decision to stop using them, he might not find it so easy to walk away – can't put the genie back in the bottle once it is out.
Definitely some rocky times ahead for the brothers.
Random observations
The Impala has her old license plate back! When did that happen, and why now, all of a sudden?
I love Dean's reaction to the word 'rugaru'. Because it does sound made up!
I love that Sam immediately understands long pig and Dean doesn't.
"You ever been really hungry? Haven't eaten in days hungry?"
"Yeah!"
Dean and his stomach!
Hey, Jack's wife Michelle wore a white nightie – and survived!
I love that Dean so easily covers for Sam when he puts his foot in it with Travis.
Jack eating the uncooked burgers is just gross. This is a pretty squicky episode.
I love watching Dean make equipment of any kind. Usually while Sam researches – such a tried and tested pattern.
The pregnant wife is a loose end left hanging – 30 years, there's another rugaru running around, and nobody knows to track it. And I kind of love the messiness of that loose end, because it feels so very real.
I love Sam's relief when he hears Dean is still alive.
Right. Busy weekend - I need to wrap this up now!
Wahey! Finally we get to see inside Sam's head – a whole episode told from Sam's point of view, even! That doesn't happen much any more, considering he started out as the POV character for the entire show.
We've seen very little of Sam so far this season, and what we have seen of him has been hard to decipher at times, so it comes as a tremendous relief to be allowed this insight, at last, and to know that our gut instinct is correct – Sam is still Sam, whatever the rights and wrongs of his choices and actions, and that worryingly cold façade we've been seeing lately was a mask, behind which all his inner turmoil could be concealed.
Hopefully, now we've reached this point of insight, Sam's state of mind will be further explored, to allow us full understanding of the personal hell he went through while his brother was languishing in the actual hell, and the impact that had on his decision-making process.
The confrontations between the brothers in this episode are perfect, each of their stances completely and utterly in keeping with the position each of them finds himself in, and each of them making entirely valid points about the other's attitude or actions. It isn't about either one being wholly in the right or wholly in the wrong; it is about the unique perspective on their situation that each of them has. About the fact that Dean, to all intents and purposes, fell asleep in May and woke up in September, unchanged, while Sam had to live through those four months, alone with his grief and his guilt and his despair, and it changed him. They have to relearn how they fit together, and it is going to be a very rocky road – both messy and painful.
We'll take Sam first, for the sheer novelty of having insight into his mindset for the first time this season. For as long as Dean didn't know what he was doing, for as long as he was able to maintain absolute separation between the two lives he was leading, Sam could bury his head in denial and think only of the positives – his carefully constructed rationalisations and justifications – while ignoring his reservations completely.
We already know that he has been conflicted about what he's doing – he admitted as much in Lazarus Rising. It probably felt a hell of a lot clearer when Dean was dead, all his guilt and inner conflict channelled into reckless determination – after all, he had nothing left to lose, so what the hell did any of it matter? It felt good to take his 'curse' and achieve something good with it, so that was all he allowed himself to think about, repressing all his doubts about what his power might be connected to and what making use of it might do to him.
Sam is a good person. He has been terrified since season one of what his powers meant, horrified at the thought of something evil inside him. He resisted his dark destiny so resolutely for such a long time, only to lose everything and everyone he ever cared about in the process. So, in his grief and desperation, he changed tack – maybe off his own volition, maybe in response to Ruby's coaxing – and he tried to make use of his curse and bend it to good. "I've saved more people in the last five months than we've saved in a year!" he tells Dean, and the thought of those lives he was saving must have been what kept him going during his months alone, the knowledge that he could at least achieve something positive in his damnation, the hope that maybe he could tip the scales in his own favour if only he saved enough lives. "I'm a whole new level of freak. And I'm just trying to take this curse…and make something good out of it."
Since Dean has been back Sam has been torn, but clung to the path he had chosen to go down rather than face up to any kind of self-examination, hiding the truth from Dean to stave off the inevitable confrontation. So, having Dean walk in on him? It's a double-whammy, and he is immediately thrust onto the back foot, having to defend himself against his brother's fury while simultaneously having to deal with his own doubts as they come crashing down, all his illusions shattered. He is forced onto the defensive right from the start, never a comfortable or easy position from which to debate. And this means that even if he wanted to, he has no opportunity to share any of his thought processes or inner doubts with Dean, because he is too busy defending himself against his brother's attack, forced to defend his actions despite his own uncertainties.
Sam must have been quietly freaking out about the demon blood for a very long time now, over a year – repressing his terrible fears because Dean's situation took priority. As Sam points out, it is something that Dean can never truly understand or share with his brother because he has never been in that position. More than ever, this creates an automatic divide between them.
When you look at the situation from Dean's point of view, it is equally shattering. When we first see him at the start of the episode, he is still reeling – he's had a hell of a night. He woke from nightmares of hell to be accosted by an angel and catapulted into the past, and after that it was just one sucker punch after another. He was confronted by his parents in their youth, learned the truth about his family history, saw both maternal grandparents murdered, learned what the Yellow-Eyed Demon did to his brother, and watched his mother seal the deal that both ensured his existence and damned the entire family. Then it was back to the angel, dropping the whole 'save him or kill him' burden onto his shoulders yet again from a very great height, but this time with the added fun twist of: if you don't stop him, we will. And we all saw what the weight of that did to him in season two, trying to save his brother from something so massive and unknown and terrifying.
It won't be any less of a devastating burden this time, especially if he and Sam are at odds rather than working together, and especially since someone else has their finger on the trigger this time, which can't help but add an extra helping of urgency and desperation. Sam said it himself last season: this is how Dean acts when he is terrified – he gets loud and he gets violent and he gets obnoxious. He has got every reason to be terrified right now, with Sam actively developing powers given to him by a demon whose endgame remains unknown and an angel threatening his brother's life if he doesn't stop him, all the while with an actual Apocalypse unfolding all around them. It is massive, and Dean is just one man. He's seemed so strong since he came out of hell, but now? He's starting to unravel, season two-style.
Seeing Sam using his psychic powers was pretty much a knockout blow. In my recap for No Rest For The Wicked, I wrote that while the deal Dean made was about saving Sam's life, going through with payment was about saving Sam's soul, and that fact comes strongly into play here. Dean went to hell rather than let Sam forge an alliance with Ruby to unlock his psychic powers, preferred to die than see his brother indenture himself to a demon and start sliding down that dark and slippery slope. So to find out that once he was gone Sam went ahead and did all that anyway must be like the most tremendous kick in the teeth, an enormous betrayal, meaning that all his suffering and torment was for nothing.
And you have to wonder how that will impact on Dean's reaction to his slowly returning memories of his time in hell.
Man, that first confrontation is just heartbreaking. Both brothers are utterly devastated, deeply hurt and on the verge of tears, and neither of them know how to handle this.
Dean's reaction is informed by his feelings of betrayal, terror and desperation, his anger burning hot and fast. It hits both Sam and viewers hard to see him packing his bags ready to leave – Dean, the one who never leaves. "You don't need me," he mutters, telling us very clearly just how deeply betrayed he feels by the extent of Sam's deception.
Would he have actually left, or was he just trying to make his point? I doubt even Dean knows – he is just flailing desperately at that point, in the same way that he lashes out at Sam and at the room in general, because he simply doesn't know what to do with the weight and intensity of the fear and anger and desperation he is feeling.
Sam makes no attempt to avoid Dean's punches, even though he kind of telegraphs them – maybe because he hopes it will make his brother feel better, or maybe because he feels so guilty and desperate and conflicted he thinks he deserves it. He is just so, so completely and utterly crushed – by the weight of his shattered illusions as much as by the intensity of his brother's anger. And then, man, by the shock of Castiel's warning.
He was so delighted at the thought of having an angel on their side. He never dreamt it might not approve of him. So to find out that the angel warned his brother against him? It's just shattering, devastating – heartbreaking.
Dean's anger, as always, runs hot and fast and burns itself out very quickly. We have seen that many times on the show. In the car we see that he is swift to let the furious argument lie and tell Sam everything he just experienced. Full disclosure has been his policy all season so far – which just makes it all the more of a kick in the teeth to discover the depth of Sam's deception.
Talking about their mother, about their parents' youthful hopes and dreams…it is a really beautiful moment for the brothers to share. Sam sounds so reverent when he asks about Mary – there's not even a hint of envy that Dean has yet another memory of her that is denied to Sam.
Sam takes it hard, though – the notion of that deal, which damned him. And then he slips up and mentions the demon blood, which Dean hadn't mentioned – either because he didn't like to bring it up so soon after their massive argument and risk another one, or because he hadn't got to it yet. And it becomes just another brick in the wall that is fast growing between them, a wall that neither of them wants, a wall that is hurting them both, but exists nonetheless.
Dean always tries to make Sam feel better, and can't maintain his anger against his little brother for any length of time. But Sam isn't as receptive as he used to be – they can't go back to how things were. Where Dean is willing and even anxious to talk things through, apologising for his reaction and admitting how much the whole thing scares him, Sam just can't face the conversation. When Sam tries to explain that this isn't something Dean can help with, it is his issue to deal with, Dean firmly tells him he doesn't have to deal with it alone – but where once Sam would have appreciated the support, now he is just frustrated that Dean isn't getting it. They still haven't worked out how they fit together now.
Because Dean was dead for four months and is now alive again, and is unchanged, but Sam has changed, and the result is this gaping, painful gulf between them. It is the price they have to pay for both of their lives.
So just why are Sam's powers such a big deal, and why does it matter so much that he is using them? He is doing good, after all, exorcising demons, saving lives, and trying to find Lilith, who is such a huge threat. It only works on demons, he tells Dean, and that is an important point. He should be able to do a lot more – Jake's powers developed extremely fast, once he unlocked them. But it is clear that Sam has actively chosen not to explore his full range of powers in any way, but rather found just this one that seemed most benign, one with which he could achieve something good. He had promised Dean not to use his powers, but he could justify just this one to himself, because he was doing good and it was only the one power…
But, as Dean points out, it is a slippery slope. And the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
On the one hand, of course, it is possible that Show will pull a double switch on us at some point and reveal these powers as nothing to worry about after all… but given the balance of evidence it seems unlikely. For more than three seasons now Sam's powers have been inextricably linked to their demonic source and to the dark destiny he feared so much. The Yellow-Eyed Demon had big plans for his chosen one, and both Ruby's interest and Castiel's warning imply that those plans have not necessarily gone anywhere just because Azazel is dead. We have seen how easily both Ava and Jake were consumed by their power once they opened themselves up to it.
No matter how careful Sam believes he is being, he is taking an enormous risk, and it is the potential damage to Sam's soul that is the big cause of concern, and always has been. These powers were given to him by the YED for evil purposes, and Sam has been taking guidance from a demon, whose agenda remains unknown. Ruby cannot be trusted. At the end of the day, how Sam uses his powers might not ultimately matter – it is the fact of his using them at all that lies at the heart of Castiel's warning.
Or is it his alliance with Ruby that is causing the concern, over and above what his powers might mean for him?
I really, really want some insight into Ruby's endgame now. She has always been a difficult character to make out, largely because she doesn't have any natural confidante. The only person she really talks to is Sam, and we can't rely on her to be telling him the truth at any given time, so we have no opportunity to gain insight into her motivations and ambitions.
My gut tells me, however, that she isn't to be trusted in the slightest, and that her change in attitude this season is merely the latest phase of the very clever long game she is playing. Last season she tried to bribe and bully Sam into submission, using Dean's life as bait, pushing and goading, but none of it worked, and Sam held firm and refused to give in to the pressure, refused to unlock his powers.
So now? Well, since hardening Sam up as a soldier didn't work, she has switched to a far more effective softly, softly approach this season. She is coaxing him along rather than goading, taking his desire to save lives and using it as the key to unlocking his powers. Carrot instead of stick. It might be slow going, but it has always been clear that Ruby is prepared to take her time in order to achieve her final goal, whatever that might be.
What is also clear is that although Ruby is playing nice with Sam and helping him save lives, she is doing so because she needs to keep Sam on side and maintain his trust, and not because she cares about the lives they are saving in any way. She would not have hesitated to kill Dean if Sam hadn't called her off – she is certainly no Lenore. No, her helpful attitude is definitely a means to an end with Sam, rather than stemming from her own beliefs. She is a dangerous guide for Sam to be following.
Also? I still do not believe that Sam has been sleeping with Ruby. I believe it even less after seeing him so very Sammy in this episode. After all, his demon-exorcising missions with Ruby have all been carried out at night, from what we've seen, and we've seen demons using sexual language to describe the indenture of human souls before. So, I don't think Sam is sleeping with her – but I do believe that his alliance with her is dangerous and wrong.
Castiel might not be in this episode, but it is worth considering him, alongside Ruby. He is an angel, a warrior for the side of good. That much seems pretty definitively established. But it is also very clear that he is not benign or benevolent in any way, and can be manipulative in the extreme, his intentions not necessarily to be trusted any more than Ruby's. Here, he effectively wound Dean up like a toy soldier and pointed him at his brother – was that a deliberate strategy, we have to wonder, manipulating both brothers? Or was it another example of his lack of insight into how human emotions and reactions really work?
Castiel's interest lies in the Big Picture. So where do the Winchester brothers fit into that picture, we have to wonder? For what ultimate purpose was Dean singled out to be dragged out of hell? Why is Sam so important? Is this intervention about saving Sam for Sam's own sake or for Dean's? Is it important to the angelic forces that Sam remains in play, for some reason, rather than being struck down on the spot?
So many questions, and hopefully the season ahead will provide many answers.
The character of Travis feels more like a plot device than a character, in many ways. Establishing him as an old contact of John's, someone the brothers knew well enough in their youth to greet with a hug, means that he us automatically established as someone they trust and respect, a reliable source, no questions asked. But he is also someone they haven't seen in 10 years, and therefore don't really know, which allows him to follow a dark course they could not anticipate.
The reason why they haven't seen him in 10 years is not touched on. However, despite those 10 years, Travis knew to contact Sam on a number we know he has had for less than 5 months. Does this imply that he has been in sporadic contact throughout the 10 years? He makes no comment on Dean's death and resurrection, which surely he must have heard something about – and you'd think, as a hunter, he'd be fascinated. And why is he asking the boys for help at all, if he hasn't seen them in so many years? Because the recent culls of hunters have decimated his contact list? Too many unanswered questions.
The point of the character, of course, is to highlight the stance of the average hunter, accentuating Dean's pointed observation that if he didn't know Sam he would want to hunt him. Hunters work a very harsh job and tread a very fine line, risking their lives over and over. I'm sure many would prefer the pre-emptive stance rather than risk a potential killer walking free – it's one of the reasons Dean has always feared Sam's powers. Just look at Gordon's reaction to them. And Travis is the old-school, grizzled variety of hunter, worn down by too many years in the job, unwilling to take any chances – he'd rather kill and be done with it than waste time he maybe cannot afford looking for alternatives.
It is a shame, really, that the Show ultimately brought Travis down on the Gordon side of extremism. Maybe necessary to facilitate the plot, but it does call the man's judgement into question a little sharply, whereas it would be interesting to see a more measured, even-handed reaction – and then project that onto Sam's situation.
The Monster of the Week in this episode is intriguing, but feels rather crammed in there for the sake of having a case for the brothers to work – and is overwhelmingly anvilicious, so that on the one hand we really don't need Dean to point the parallels out to us, but on the other can be glad that at least the characters have noticed all the anvils landing on their heads!
The main point of the MOTW story, aside from Sam's reaction to it, is of course to ensure that the brothers are tossed into action while in the middle of their dispute, allowing them no opportunity to step back, take a breath, and search for some resolution. This means that inevitably both of their reactions to the case are going to be heavily coloured by the inner turmoil they are going through.
And Sam, in consequence, slides straight back into season two mode: identifying with the supernatural creature of the week and seeing them as a metaphor for his own situation. Bless him, he gets so excited and gleeful when he thinks he has found a solution to any problem – the hope just lights him up. "We're not going to kill him unless he does something to get killed for," he insists, because if this imminent rugaru can be saved, then maybe so can Sam.
And it means that the roles have reversed yet again – last season Sam was all about the kill, the ends justifying the means, trying hard to toughen himself up, while Dean played devil's advocate.
Dean goes along with Sam – tries hard to convince the man to repress his terribly hunger, hoping to prevent him making that final transformation from which there can be no turning back. The brothers might be divided on fundamental issues, but there are still places where they can meet. And Sam in his turn doesn't hesitate to run after the man with a flamethrower when an innocent life is at risk – doesn't hesitate to torch him when he is about to kill Dean.
"You have this dark pit inside you, I know. Believe me, I know. But that doesn't mean you have to fall into it. You don't have to be a monster. […] It doesn't matter what you are. It only matters what you do." Bless his heart, Sam has been clinging desperately to that belief for such a long time, so desperately hoping that if he can make it true about something – anything – that they hunt, just maybe it can also be true for himself.
It doesn't matter what you are. It only matters what you do. It is about choices – choosing to be evil, or choosing to be good. Yay, and we're back to free will over predestination.
"These powers. It's playing with fire. I'm done with them. I'm done with everything."
"That's a relief. Thank you."
"Don't thank me. I'm not doing it for you, or for the angels, or for anybody. This is my choice."
On the one hand, Sam's decision to stop using his powers seems a little abrupt, but on the other it is entirely understandable. He had admitted his reservations in the past, but couldn't bring himself to give in just then – he just needed the shock of Dean catching him out and the bitter realities of this case to give him the push he needed. He wasn't able to save Jack from himself, and Travis's intervention means that there can be no way of ever knowing if Jack could somehow have restrained himself. For Jack, just one bite was too many, no going back, and seeing that clearly terrified and devastated Sam.
Dean is going to find it very hard to trust his brother for probably a very long time, having found out the depth of Sam's deception. And we might equally ask whether or not Sam can truly trust himself? His powers are unlocked now. However sincere he is in his decision to stop using them, he might not find it so easy to walk away – can't put the genie back in the bottle once it is out.
Definitely some rocky times ahead for the brothers.
The Impala has her old license plate back! When did that happen, and why now, all of a sudden?
I love Dean's reaction to the word 'rugaru'. Because it does sound made up!
I love that Sam immediately understands long pig and Dean doesn't.
"You ever been really hungry? Haven't eaten in days hungry?"
"Yeah!"
Dean and his stomach!
Hey, Jack's wife Michelle wore a white nightie – and survived!
I love that Dean so easily covers for Sam when he puts his foot in it with Travis.
Jack eating the uncooked burgers is just gross. This is a pretty squicky episode.
I love watching Dean make equipment of any kind. Usually while Sam researches – such a tried and tested pattern.
The pregnant wife is a loose end left hanging – 30 years, there's another rugaru running around, and nobody knows to track it. And I kind of love the messiness of that loose end, because it feels so very real.
I love Sam's relief when he hears Dean is still alive.
Right. Busy weekend - I need to wrap this up now!
