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llywelaUpdate for anyone who might happen to follow my Supernatural reviews: recap for 5.04 The End is underway, but is bloody hard work and therefore slow-going! Too much to analyse and discuss, such intricate character motivations and mytharc implications. Plus, sad to say, that run of sub-par episodes that followed this one really have sapped my enthusiasm for writing about ongoing developments.
(ps, for anyone who might happen to follow my Pros reviews - and it's been far, far too long since I actually completed one, I know! - I'm ashamed to say that I started writing about The Acorn Syndrome even longer ago than I started writing about SN's The End, but found that although it's a fairly entertaining episode to watch, it is boring as heck to write about, and thus keeps slipping onto the backburner. I will get back to it eventually. Promise.)
So, in an attempt to coax my meta-writing muse back to life, I have taken a bit of time out to pull together a List of Love for SN season one's Nightmare.
A Preponderance of Things I Love About Nightmare
…and other related thoughts
I'd actually forgotten how many things I love about this episode. Everything about this story works, adding layers to the mytharc while also delving deeper into the characters and allowing us to learn a little more about who they are and how they react to certain triggers – as well as to one another, not to mention each others' triggers.
1. Sam's having visions! We really are back in season one.
2. I love sleeping Dean.
3. I love how very sleep-befuddled Dean is when Sam wakes him, and the adorable little grunting noises he makes as he wallows his way toward consciousness – and yet how easy it is for Sam to wake him and how very rapidly he zeros in on the fact that something is wrong, from unconscious to alert big brother mode in 3.2 seconds. Give or take.
Lookit that sleep-fuddled face! So comical and so natural: the kind of humour that flows naturally within the context of a scene, subtle and understated rather than forced and exaggerated – perfect.
4. Oh, but poor Sam, running around like a lunatic because he is reacting to his premonitions now that he has admitted what they are, and he is so very freaked out by what is happening to him, but will not allow himself to ignore it, not if he has even a remote chance of preventing another death – not when burying his head in the sand cost him Jessica.
5. I love that Dean takes Sam's premonition absolutely seriously and immediately hits the road, in the middle of the night, in pursuit of what Sam saw – even as he attempts to reassure his brother that it was merely a bad dream.
6. I love Sam for his determination to save the people in his premonitions, and I love Dean for his determination to reassure his little brother and keep him from panicking.
7. Oh man, their faces when they pull up outside the Miller house and find Jim Miller already dead, just as Sam saw in his dream. Dean looks so shocked by the implications, while Sam just looks sick to his stomach because they are too late to save the man.
8. I love how willing random gawkers are to share any gossip they know about the bereaved.
9. The initial conversation the brothers have at the scene just kills me. Sam is so angry and distressed, demanding answers that Dean can't give him, while Dean is so very afraid of what all this might mean, yet determinedly maintains his façade of composure for the sake of calming Sam down.
Plus, I love the cinematography of the scene, shot mostly from behind the brothers as they sit side-by-side on the hood of the Impala.
10. "What?"
"Nothing, man, I'm just worried about you."
"Well, don't look at me like that."
It really hurts to look back on this exchange, which sets the pattern for the brothers' dynamic regarding Sam's powers for years to come, knowing that as far ahead as season five this fundamental issue between them has never been resolved. Dean is completely within his rights to be deeply concerned about what all this might mean – it is as new and alarming to him as it is to Sam – but Sam can't handle Dean having any kind of negative reaction, instantly projecting his own fears onto his brother and thus interpreting concern for him as suspicion of him. This in turn makes it impossible for Dean to ever be truly open about his concerns for Sam, and thus a vicious circle is created. As much as I love Sam, he has never been good at seeing past his own concerns to understand the position of others, having plenty of sympathy in the right circumstances, but very little empathy. This exchange here is a perfect example of the way that Sam chafes against Dean's protective big brotherly attitude toward him while simultaneously craving it – frequently seeking reassurance from his brother but then rejecting it when it comes, or at least rejecting the form in which it comes. This dichotomy sits alongside, feeds into and works against Dean's ingrained sense of responsibility and need to be needed, thus creating the major source of tension between them throughout the show: a power struggle. It is important to note, however, that this is not one-sided, but is something that both of their issues feed into and perpetuate.
11. I love Dean's ability to distract Sam from his woes and keep him focused on tangible practicalities.
12. I love Dean'n'Sam playing dress up as priests: Sammy with his hair all slicked back for just about the first time, pissy about the semi-blasphemous identity fraud he's been dragged into even as he plays along, while Dean hams it up for all he's worth, because subtle is one of those things that Dean simply cannot do.
Whatever Sam's reservations, Dean was right: the dress-up works well as a means of gaining entrance to the house – and demonstrates the importance of paying close attention to what gossipy bystanders have to say at the scene of a tragedy!
13. I also love that this scene gives us a classic gag reel moment.
14. I love that almost the moment they get inside the Miller house, while Sam remains focused on the grieving widow they have come to interview, Dean's attention is caught by the plate of food Mrs Miller is holding.
Dean's love affair with food is such an endearing character quirk, especially here in season one, when it tends to be underplayed to perfection rather than overplayed and exaggerated, as begins to happen in later seasons. There is a subtle but important distinction between a recurring character quirk and an overused visual gag.
15. I love that when Mrs Miller hands Sam a hot cup of tea, he flinches slightly as he takes it, as if the cup really is hot. I miss that kind of attention to detail in the later seasons.
16. I love that as well as being a comedy quirk, Dean's preoccupation with food can perhaps also be read as having deeper meaning for the character. Dean is the breadwinner of the partnership, and any free food he picks up along the way frees up hard-hustled cash to be spent on other necessities. We could even go further and speculate that this inability to walk away from free food without sampling suggests occasions in his childhood when he went without – we certainly know, from flashbacks and anecdotes, that John did not always return from his hunts on schedule, that Dean was left alone to care for Sam on those occasions and that the responsibility weighed heavily on him. That money and food might have run out from time to time, that Dean may have gone without to eke supplies out for Sam a little longer (bearing in mind that two out of three flashbacks of the boys' childhood have shown the young Dean giving food to Sam while taking none for himself)…it is pure speculation, but sadly only too plausible.
Then again, it could just be that Dean loves his stomach and is always hungry.
17. Sam can be such a killjoy.
He's right, of course – it is best to stay focused on the task at hand and not overplay the part when trying to conduct a serious investigation! The brothers have very different approaches to their work, however, neither one necessarily better or worse than the other. The fact that they complement one another so well, having different relative strengths and weaknesses, is part of what makes them such an effective team.
18. Trying to find plausible ways to ask bizarre questions of grieving relatives is not Dean's most favouritest part of the job. Subtle is just not his forte – but he gets points for effort!
19. I love that Dean can't resist pinching more of the little cocktail sausages, however un-priestly such behaviour might be, before escaping his awkward interview with Mrs Miller in favour of a more hands-on form of investigation: snooping.
20. Max Miller is such an odd-looking little thing.
21. I love this nifty little SF gadget (okay, infra-red thermal scanner, if you want to get technical), which is both high tech and yet looks every bit as home-made as Dean's walkman EMF meter from Phantom Traveler.
I wish Show hadn't immediately forgotten that the brothers had this gadget, and remembered more often that Dean is capable of building such gizmos.
22. I love how very bad Dean is at trying to appear nonchalant and innocent when he hears someone coming, and how visibly he relaxes when it is just Sam, because he really didn't have a good excuse prepared.
23. I love the scene where Dean sits cleaning his guns while discussing the case, without even looking at them half the time. I'm sure you will forgive me for picspamming the hell out of it.
24. Sam's first ever waking vision! It is a major moment, signalling as it does that the premonitions he has been receiving in his dreams are escalating, rather than remaining static – something is happening to him, it isn't over yet, and there is no telling where it might lead.
25. I love how swiftly Dean moves from a dubious 'what's wrong with you?' to sprinting across the room to catch his brother as he keels over.
26. Brother-touching!
I love that Dean keeps Sam at arm's length here, because he's trying to get a good look at him to see what's wrong, while simultaneously holding him tight both to support and to comfort him as he writhes in pain.
27. I cannot watch the man getting his head chopped off by the window.
There aren't many scenes in this show that I can't bring myself to watch, but this episode features a couple of them. First time I ever saw this scene, I yelled myself hoarse at the TV telling the stupid man not to stick his head out of the window, and I get the same very visceral reaction every time.
28. I love that Dean's gruff offer to pull over if Sam needs to throw up – because of the upholstery, of course – is so easily translated as 'I'm worried about you but don't really know how to express that without a) you taking it the wrong way or b) sacrificing my manly pride', and that Sam gets the message loud and clear.
29. Now, Jared Padalecki's acting wasn't always as strong back in season one as it has become since, but in this scene? Perfect. It's hard to screencap clearly, but he looks just like I feel when I have a migraine, like it hurts to open his eyes or even to hold his head up.
30. I love how little prompting from Dean it takes for Sam to confess all his woes. It is such a consistent dynamic between them, throughout the seasons.
31. "Why the hell is this happening to me?"
"I don't know, Sam, but we'll figure it out, okay? We face the unexplainable every single day. This is just another thing."
"No. It's never been us. It's never been in the family like this. Tell the truth, you can't tell me this doesn't freak you out."
"This doesn't freak me out."
This is another of those killer conversations, so poignant to look back on with the benefit of hindsight: Sam panicking over the meaning of his inexplicable psychic episodes and desperately seeking reassurance from his brother, pushing hard because he doesn't really know what he wants from Dean – does he want firm yet vague standard reassurances of the kind that Dean does best or does he want Dean to admit feeling the same way and join him in his panic? Either way, his reaction earlier when Dean did admit his concern makes it impossible for Dean, being Dean, to take the chance of repetition now, so he swallows his own fears for his brother in favour of stoicism and seeking to calm Sam down – not least because they still have a mystery to solve and lives to save, which they can't do if they are both panicking.
32. Action sequence! I love gate-kickin' and wall-jumpin'!
I especially love that Sam can scramble up and over the wall in one, whereas Dean has to take a step up.
33. Oh man, Sammy, the way he just freezes when they hear Roger Miller die, just a matter of moments too late to save him, the look on his face, man, it really is heart-breaking.
34. I love that while Sam is frozen with horror, Dean keeps his head and remains focused on practicalities – such as dusting down their fingerprints and searching for clues – because someone has to.
Wouldn't it be nice if they remembered to take care not to leave fingerprints more often?!
35. That moment when the brothers are walking back to the car and Sam is ranting his distress, so wound up he doesn't even notice the road as they approach it, so Dean just casually sticks a hand out to stop his brother walking under an oncoming car – that is one of my favourite brother moments ever in the show. It is so nonchalant and understated and so real, a completely unconscious big brother-little brother moment, something I have done with my own younger siblings hundreds of time, and speaks volumes for the dynamic between them, established over the course of a lifetime.
36. Hang on, though. Sam says that he saw something in Roger's apartment in his vision – and we saw it, too, a dark shape moving past a doorway. We later learn that it was Max who killed his uncle. So how come Dean didn't find him there when he took a look inside the apartment? No way Max is that good at hiding, however perfunctory Dean's hasty search was.
37. "Well, I know one thing I have in common with these people."
"What's that?"
"Both our families are cursed."
"Our family's not cursed. We just…had our dark spots."
Oh, boys. God, it makes my heart bleed to look back on this exchange and the very different perspectives they express – each for very valid reasons – and to know that everything that has happened to them since has only served to validate and reinforce Sam's gloomy fatalism, while completely undermining and destroying Dean's more determinedly optimistic outlook.
38. I love Sam's smile.
39. I love how swift Dean is to lose the dog collar once their faux-priest work is done.
40. I love gossipy neighbours who are willing to discuss the ins and outs of the goings on across the street with complete strangers – so useful on cases like this.
41. I also like how concerned the guy is when Sam starts clutching at his head in pain – that kind of collapse being kind of awkward, really, when trying to conduct a serious investigation.
42. I love this shot.
'Nuff said.
43. I love watching Dean taking care of Sam.
I just hope he found a good excuse to give the concerned neighbour after Sam collapsed as he was hustled back to the car!
44. Okay, so this vision, with the knife through the eye? That's another of the rare scenes of this show that I absolutely cannot watch.
45. Once the truth about Max's responsibility for the murders of his family becomes clear, the different outlooks of the two brothers are thrown into sharp relief – yet again outlining the positions that will go on to become a major source of tension between them for seasons still to come.
Dean sees a murderer who must be stopped, first and foremost and no matter what it takes, while Sam identifies strongly with Max, determined to save him because that will allow Sam to hope that whatever is happening to him is not so bad after all. Neither is ever entirely right and neither is ever entirely wrong in cases such as this, and five seasons later the debate remains ongoing, their respective positions ebbing and flowing backwards and forwards according to circumstance without ever achieving true resolution.
46. I love that Dean agrees to follow Sam's lead on their confrontation with Max, even though he makes the mistake of taking a gun with him just in case – it is intensely in character for him to not be prepared to approach a dangerous individual unarmed, after all.
You know, although in later seasons and episodes Sam complains a lot about never being listened to and always being smacked down as junior, Dean demonstrates here (and on numerous other occasions) that he is completely prepared to listen to his brother and to back down and achieve a compromise if Sam presents a strong argument, whether Sam chooses to recall those occasions when feeling hard done by or not. It is simply bad luck, in this instance, that his decision to carry a concealed weapon just in case backfires on them all. Also, this is one of those moments that demonstrate the strength and value of the brothers' partnership, as they each take turns, over the course of the seasons, at acting as one another's conscience if they are in danger of taking things too far.
47. I love the way the brothers burst through the door just in time to save Mrs Miller, and then instantly have to re-group and attempt to act completely casual, as if bursting into someone's house uninvited is perfectly normal, while also attempting to defuse the situation.
It must be said: Sam is rather better at this than Dean, but neither one is what you'd call convincing, here!
48. I love that even when the situation has blown up and Max is holding a gun on them, Dean still does as Sam asked and allows his brother to take the lead. He doesn't like it, is intensely unhappy at the thought of his little brother being left alone with this murderous maniac, but having registered his discomfort with the proposed solution he goes along with it without dissent, trusting Sam completely with all of their lives.
49. I love the way the shot from above is used, showing the light fixture shaking above the brothers' heads, symbolic of the danger they are in from Max's unpredictable power.
50. I love the special effects in this episode, such as the spinning letter opener and floating gun.
51. I love that although we are never actually told that Max's powers take a similar toll on him as Sam's, we are given all the clues in his pallor, sweatiness and general discomfort, which parallel the pain and discomfort Sam experiences with each vision.
It's really nice, subtle storytelling, using visual cues to link the very different psychic experiences of the two individuals.
52. Oh, Sammy, bless him, the look on his face when he learns that Max's mother died in exactly the same way as his, realises that they are more closely linked than he ever imagined.
53. I love that Sam tries so damn hard to get through to Max, in his own clumsy way – his encounter with Ava in season two demonstrates again how bad he is at this – and that he comes so painfully close to convincing the severely unbalanced psychic to back down. He needs to succeed here so very much, not just for the sake of preventing Max from taking any more lives, but for his own sake, because if he and Max are linked and Max is using his power for evil, it terrifies Sam to think what that might mean for himself.
Alas, however, the damage has already been done, long before, and there is no getting through to Max. Sam was right to want to at least try, though.
54. "When my dad used to look at me, there was hate in his eyes. Do you know what that feels like?"
"No."
This episode is important in many ways. The way it demonstrates Sam's growing understanding and appreciation of his family is one of them, as Max's experience brings him to the realisation that no matter how great the disagreements between himself and his father, he has never, ever doubted John's love for him. He might have resented his upbringing intensely, and still does, but he sees clearly here that it could have been far worse, in many ways.
55. I love how very clumsy Dean's attempt at first aid on Mrs Miller is.
If it were Sam or John, he would undoubtedly make a better stab at it, but some strange woman, with Sam still in danger down below? Yeah, he's really not giving it his all.
56. "If you want to kill her, you gotta go through me first."
57. Dead Dean!
Man, that guy has died so many times in the course of the show!
58. I love how shocked Sam is when he realises that he moved the cabinet trapping him with his mind – and how swiftly he gets over his shock in order to run to his brother's rescue.
59. This shot just kills me – Sam so anguished over his failure to save Max from himself, and Dean distraught with concern for his brother, hating that Sam has to go through this.
Also? Wow, Sam dwarfs Dean in this scene.
60. "Well, I'll tell you one thing – we're lucky we had Dad."
"I never thought I'd hear you say that."
"Well, he could've gone a whole 'nother way after Mom. A little more tequila, a little less demon hunting, and we would've had Max's childhood. All things considered, we turned out okay. Thanks to him."
I love that the principle lesson Sam takes away from all this is a greater appreciation of his father, despite John's many flaws as a parent. For all that he has identified with Max, he recognises that the crucial differences in their upbringing are more important than the similarities between their mother's deaths and their psychic experiences. And as important as it is for Sam to recognise this, it is equally important for Dean to hear him say it, as Sam beginning to ease up on their father means less stress for Dean, who has spent much of his life mediating between them. It allows him to hope for reconciliation and a reunited family some day, which is his greatest and most treasured wish in the whole world.
61. I love how very in character both brothers are in that final scene, Sam utterly absorbed in his misery, fretting badly over what is happening to him and what it might mean, while Dean remains determinedly upbeat, refusing to get tied up in intangibles and doing his level best to keep Sam grounded.
Sam wants Dean to share his concern, but at the same time craves his reassurance, while also taking that steadying influence so completely for granted that he barely even realises it is there. That responsibility is extremely wearing for Dean, making it difficult for him to be truly open with his brother about his own doubts and fears, while also being something that he needs, because being needed is what gives him the strength to endure. As already discussed, this is how each of them has shaped the other, their respective needs and fears and concerns and neuroses intertwining and reacting in opposition to one another over the course of their lifetime to help make each of them who he is – to make their relationship what it is. This is a dynamic that will intensify over the seasons that follow, as their situation deteriorates, leading to unhealthy levels of emotional co-dependency that into season five they are still struggling to deal with. It is a fascinating journey to follow.
62. I love how grouchy Dean is when Sam admits he has something else to confess (we've just been through all this and now you say there's more?!) and how very careful he is to keep his reaction completely neutral – it might be more honest if he were able to admit his concerns aloud, but the intensity of Sam's fear makes that impossible.
63. I love that Sam confesses his telekinetic episode without hesitation, having kept the premonitions secret for months – Dean's calm acceptance of his psychic episodes has reassured him, as it was meant to.
But that adds to the growing pressure on Dean, because he cannot openly admit his own fears without scaring Sam. They can admit so much to one another, but no more than that, either of them.
64. I love the way Dean moves around the motel room in this scene, packing up his stuff while the brothers talk.
I love action dialogue.
65. "Aren't you worried, man, aren't you worried that I could turn into Max or something?"
"Nope. No way. You know why?"
"No. Why?"
"'Cause you've got one advantage that Max didn't have."
"Dad? Because Dad's not here, Dean."
"No. Me. As long as I'm around, nothing bad is gonna happen to you."
Oh, Dean. Oh, Sam. Oh, boys. This exchange just kills me. It typifies everything about their dynamic, the way Sam takes his brother's steady support so completely for granted that he barely even notices it is there, the way Dean unflinchingly gives his brother what he needs, solid and reassuring – and the way it foreshadows the way everything will start to fall apart for them in later seasons. Because Sam believes Dean's reassurance, clings to it desperately the more he learns about himself and his powers, and then falls apart completely when Dean is no longer around to protect him. Which…theirs is a beautiful relationship, but my God, is it messed up – a heartbreaking muddle of imperfect human nature that rings powerfully true to messy old real life!
66. "Now then, I know what we need to do about your premonitions. I know where we have to go."
"Where?"
"Vegas. What? Come on, man. Craps table. We'd clean up.
Oh, boys. Sam is so young, here, totally falling for Dean's diversionary tactic and as completely jolted out of his fit of broody introspection as Dean intended – one of the more obvious instances of Dean actively inviting his brother's derision as a means of shaking him out of a funk. As brother-handling strategies go, it is almost always successful, which is why Dean uses it so often, and Sam falls for it every time.
67. Oh, but the look on Dean's face once Sam has gone out to the car and is safely out of sight, man – all the fear and worry he's just so successfully lifted from Sam's shoulders is written all across his own face instead. Something he can't explain is happening to his little brother, and there is nothing he can do to stop it and no one he can turn to for help or advice. Taking the responsibility and worry from Sam means carrying it himself, without ever letting Sam see the strain, and there are no answers anywhere in sight.
Fabulous episode. I love it.
(ps, for anyone who might happen to follow my Pros reviews - and it's been far, far too long since I actually completed one, I know! - I'm ashamed to say that I started writing about The Acorn Syndrome even longer ago than I started writing about SN's The End, but found that although it's a fairly entertaining episode to watch, it is boring as heck to write about, and thus keeps slipping onto the backburner. I will get back to it eventually. Promise.)
So, in an attempt to coax my meta-writing muse back to life, I have taken a bit of time out to pull together a List of Love for SN season one's Nightmare.
…and other related thoughts
I'd actually forgotten how many things I love about this episode. Everything about this story works, adding layers to the mytharc while also delving deeper into the characters and allowing us to learn a little more about who they are and how they react to certain triggers – as well as to one another, not to mention each others' triggers.
1. Sam's having visions! We really are back in season one.
2. I love sleeping Dean.
3. I love how very sleep-befuddled Dean is when Sam wakes him, and the adorable little grunting noises he makes as he wallows his way toward consciousness – and yet how easy it is for Sam to wake him and how very rapidly he zeros in on the fact that something is wrong, from unconscious to alert big brother mode in 3.2 seconds. Give or take.
Lookit that sleep-fuddled face! So comical and so natural: the kind of humour that flows naturally within the context of a scene, subtle and understated rather than forced and exaggerated – perfect.
4. Oh, but poor Sam, running around like a lunatic because he is reacting to his premonitions now that he has admitted what they are, and he is so very freaked out by what is happening to him, but will not allow himself to ignore it, not if he has even a remote chance of preventing another death – not when burying his head in the sand cost him Jessica.
5. I love that Dean takes Sam's premonition absolutely seriously and immediately hits the road, in the middle of the night, in pursuit of what Sam saw – even as he attempts to reassure his brother that it was merely a bad dream.
6. I love Sam for his determination to save the people in his premonitions, and I love Dean for his determination to reassure his little brother and keep him from panicking.
7. Oh man, their faces when they pull up outside the Miller house and find Jim Miller already dead, just as Sam saw in his dream. Dean looks so shocked by the implications, while Sam just looks sick to his stomach because they are too late to save the man.
8. I love how willing random gawkers are to share any gossip they know about the bereaved.
9. The initial conversation the brothers have at the scene just kills me. Sam is so angry and distressed, demanding answers that Dean can't give him, while Dean is so very afraid of what all this might mean, yet determinedly maintains his façade of composure for the sake of calming Sam down.
Plus, I love the cinematography of the scene, shot mostly from behind the brothers as they sit side-by-side on the hood of the Impala.
10. "What?"
"Nothing, man, I'm just worried about you."
"Well, don't look at me like that."
It really hurts to look back on this exchange, which sets the pattern for the brothers' dynamic regarding Sam's powers for years to come, knowing that as far ahead as season five this fundamental issue between them has never been resolved. Dean is completely within his rights to be deeply concerned about what all this might mean – it is as new and alarming to him as it is to Sam – but Sam can't handle Dean having any kind of negative reaction, instantly projecting his own fears onto his brother and thus interpreting concern for him as suspicion of him. This in turn makes it impossible for Dean to ever be truly open about his concerns for Sam, and thus a vicious circle is created. As much as I love Sam, he has never been good at seeing past his own concerns to understand the position of others, having plenty of sympathy in the right circumstances, but very little empathy. This exchange here is a perfect example of the way that Sam chafes against Dean's protective big brotherly attitude toward him while simultaneously craving it – frequently seeking reassurance from his brother but then rejecting it when it comes, or at least rejecting the form in which it comes. This dichotomy sits alongside, feeds into and works against Dean's ingrained sense of responsibility and need to be needed, thus creating the major source of tension between them throughout the show: a power struggle. It is important to note, however, that this is not one-sided, but is something that both of their issues feed into and perpetuate.
11. I love Dean's ability to distract Sam from his woes and keep him focused on tangible practicalities.
12. I love Dean'n'Sam playing dress up as priests: Sammy with his hair all slicked back for just about the first time, pissy about the semi-blasphemous identity fraud he's been dragged into even as he plays along, while Dean hams it up for all he's worth, because subtle is one of those things that Dean simply cannot do.
Whatever Sam's reservations, Dean was right: the dress-up works well as a means of gaining entrance to the house – and demonstrates the importance of paying close attention to what gossipy bystanders have to say at the scene of a tragedy!
13. I also love that this scene gives us a classic gag reel moment.
14. I love that almost the moment they get inside the Miller house, while Sam remains focused on the grieving widow they have come to interview, Dean's attention is caught by the plate of food Mrs Miller is holding.
Dean's love affair with food is such an endearing character quirk, especially here in season one, when it tends to be underplayed to perfection rather than overplayed and exaggerated, as begins to happen in later seasons. There is a subtle but important distinction between a recurring character quirk and an overused visual gag.
15. I love that when Mrs Miller hands Sam a hot cup of tea, he flinches slightly as he takes it, as if the cup really is hot. I miss that kind of attention to detail in the later seasons.
16. I love that as well as being a comedy quirk, Dean's preoccupation with food can perhaps also be read as having deeper meaning for the character. Dean is the breadwinner of the partnership, and any free food he picks up along the way frees up hard-hustled cash to be spent on other necessities. We could even go further and speculate that this inability to walk away from free food without sampling suggests occasions in his childhood when he went without – we certainly know, from flashbacks and anecdotes, that John did not always return from his hunts on schedule, that Dean was left alone to care for Sam on those occasions and that the responsibility weighed heavily on him. That money and food might have run out from time to time, that Dean may have gone without to eke supplies out for Sam a little longer (bearing in mind that two out of three flashbacks of the boys' childhood have shown the young Dean giving food to Sam while taking none for himself)…it is pure speculation, but sadly only too plausible.
Then again, it could just be that Dean loves his stomach and is always hungry.
17. Sam can be such a killjoy.
He's right, of course – it is best to stay focused on the task at hand and not overplay the part when trying to conduct a serious investigation! The brothers have very different approaches to their work, however, neither one necessarily better or worse than the other. The fact that they complement one another so well, having different relative strengths and weaknesses, is part of what makes them such an effective team.
18. Trying to find plausible ways to ask bizarre questions of grieving relatives is not Dean's most favouritest part of the job. Subtle is just not his forte – but he gets points for effort!
19. I love that Dean can't resist pinching more of the little cocktail sausages, however un-priestly such behaviour might be, before escaping his awkward interview with Mrs Miller in favour of a more hands-on form of investigation: snooping.
20. Max Miller is such an odd-looking little thing.
21. I love this nifty little SF gadget (okay, infra-red thermal scanner, if you want to get technical), which is both high tech and yet looks every bit as home-made as Dean's walkman EMF meter from Phantom Traveler.
I wish Show hadn't immediately forgotten that the brothers had this gadget, and remembered more often that Dean is capable of building such gizmos.
22. I love how very bad Dean is at trying to appear nonchalant and innocent when he hears someone coming, and how visibly he relaxes when it is just Sam, because he really didn't have a good excuse prepared.
23. I love the scene where Dean sits cleaning his guns while discussing the case, without even looking at them half the time. I'm sure you will forgive me for picspamming the hell out of it.
24. Sam's first ever waking vision! It is a major moment, signalling as it does that the premonitions he has been receiving in his dreams are escalating, rather than remaining static – something is happening to him, it isn't over yet, and there is no telling where it might lead.
25. I love how swiftly Dean moves from a dubious 'what's wrong with you?' to sprinting across the room to catch his brother as he keels over.
26. Brother-touching!
I love that Dean keeps Sam at arm's length here, because he's trying to get a good look at him to see what's wrong, while simultaneously holding him tight both to support and to comfort him as he writhes in pain.
27. I cannot watch the man getting his head chopped off by the window.
There aren't many scenes in this show that I can't bring myself to watch, but this episode features a couple of them. First time I ever saw this scene, I yelled myself hoarse at the TV telling the stupid man not to stick his head out of the window, and I get the same very visceral reaction every time.
28. I love that Dean's gruff offer to pull over if Sam needs to throw up – because of the upholstery, of course – is so easily translated as 'I'm worried about you but don't really know how to express that without a) you taking it the wrong way or b) sacrificing my manly pride', and that Sam gets the message loud and clear.
29. Now, Jared Padalecki's acting wasn't always as strong back in season one as it has become since, but in this scene? Perfect. It's hard to screencap clearly, but he looks just like I feel when I have a migraine, like it hurts to open his eyes or even to hold his head up.
30. I love how little prompting from Dean it takes for Sam to confess all his woes. It is such a consistent dynamic between them, throughout the seasons.
31. "Why the hell is this happening to me?"
"I don't know, Sam, but we'll figure it out, okay? We face the unexplainable every single day. This is just another thing."
"No. It's never been us. It's never been in the family like this. Tell the truth, you can't tell me this doesn't freak you out."
"This doesn't freak me out."
This is another of those killer conversations, so poignant to look back on with the benefit of hindsight: Sam panicking over the meaning of his inexplicable psychic episodes and desperately seeking reassurance from his brother, pushing hard because he doesn't really know what he wants from Dean – does he want firm yet vague standard reassurances of the kind that Dean does best or does he want Dean to admit feeling the same way and join him in his panic? Either way, his reaction earlier when Dean did admit his concern makes it impossible for Dean, being Dean, to take the chance of repetition now, so he swallows his own fears for his brother in favour of stoicism and seeking to calm Sam down – not least because they still have a mystery to solve and lives to save, which they can't do if they are both panicking.
32. Action sequence! I love gate-kickin' and wall-jumpin'!
I especially love that Sam can scramble up and over the wall in one, whereas Dean has to take a step up.
33. Oh man, Sammy, the way he just freezes when they hear Roger Miller die, just a matter of moments too late to save him, the look on his face, man, it really is heart-breaking.
34. I love that while Sam is frozen with horror, Dean keeps his head and remains focused on practicalities – such as dusting down their fingerprints and searching for clues – because someone has to.
Wouldn't it be nice if they remembered to take care not to leave fingerprints more often?!
35. That moment when the brothers are walking back to the car and Sam is ranting his distress, so wound up he doesn't even notice the road as they approach it, so Dean just casually sticks a hand out to stop his brother walking under an oncoming car – that is one of my favourite brother moments ever in the show. It is so nonchalant and understated and so real, a completely unconscious big brother-little brother moment, something I have done with my own younger siblings hundreds of time, and speaks volumes for the dynamic between them, established over the course of a lifetime.
36. Hang on, though. Sam says that he saw something in Roger's apartment in his vision – and we saw it, too, a dark shape moving past a doorway. We later learn that it was Max who killed his uncle. So how come Dean didn't find him there when he took a look inside the apartment? No way Max is that good at hiding, however perfunctory Dean's hasty search was.
37. "Well, I know one thing I have in common with these people."
"What's that?"
"Both our families are cursed."
"Our family's not cursed. We just…had our dark spots."
Oh, boys. God, it makes my heart bleed to look back on this exchange and the very different perspectives they express – each for very valid reasons – and to know that everything that has happened to them since has only served to validate and reinforce Sam's gloomy fatalism, while completely undermining and destroying Dean's more determinedly optimistic outlook.
38. I love Sam's smile.
39. I love how swift Dean is to lose the dog collar once their faux-priest work is done.
40. I love gossipy neighbours who are willing to discuss the ins and outs of the goings on across the street with complete strangers – so useful on cases like this.
41. I also like how concerned the guy is when Sam starts clutching at his head in pain – that kind of collapse being kind of awkward, really, when trying to conduct a serious investigation.
42. I love this shot.
'Nuff said.
43. I love watching Dean taking care of Sam.
I just hope he found a good excuse to give the concerned neighbour after Sam collapsed as he was hustled back to the car!
44. Okay, so this vision, with the knife through the eye? That's another of the rare scenes of this show that I absolutely cannot watch.
45. Once the truth about Max's responsibility for the murders of his family becomes clear, the different outlooks of the two brothers are thrown into sharp relief – yet again outlining the positions that will go on to become a major source of tension between them for seasons still to come.
Dean sees a murderer who must be stopped, first and foremost and no matter what it takes, while Sam identifies strongly with Max, determined to save him because that will allow Sam to hope that whatever is happening to him is not so bad after all. Neither is ever entirely right and neither is ever entirely wrong in cases such as this, and five seasons later the debate remains ongoing, their respective positions ebbing and flowing backwards and forwards according to circumstance without ever achieving true resolution.
46. I love that Dean agrees to follow Sam's lead on their confrontation with Max, even though he makes the mistake of taking a gun with him just in case – it is intensely in character for him to not be prepared to approach a dangerous individual unarmed, after all.
You know, although in later seasons and episodes Sam complains a lot about never being listened to and always being smacked down as junior, Dean demonstrates here (and on numerous other occasions) that he is completely prepared to listen to his brother and to back down and achieve a compromise if Sam presents a strong argument, whether Sam chooses to recall those occasions when feeling hard done by or not. It is simply bad luck, in this instance, that his decision to carry a concealed weapon just in case backfires on them all. Also, this is one of those moments that demonstrate the strength and value of the brothers' partnership, as they each take turns, over the course of the seasons, at acting as one another's conscience if they are in danger of taking things too far.
47. I love the way the brothers burst through the door just in time to save Mrs Miller, and then instantly have to re-group and attempt to act completely casual, as if bursting into someone's house uninvited is perfectly normal, while also attempting to defuse the situation.
It must be said: Sam is rather better at this than Dean, but neither one is what you'd call convincing, here!
48. I love that even when the situation has blown up and Max is holding a gun on them, Dean still does as Sam asked and allows his brother to take the lead. He doesn't like it, is intensely unhappy at the thought of his little brother being left alone with this murderous maniac, but having registered his discomfort with the proposed solution he goes along with it without dissent, trusting Sam completely with all of their lives.
49. I love the way the shot from above is used, showing the light fixture shaking above the brothers' heads, symbolic of the danger they are in from Max's unpredictable power.
50. I love the special effects in this episode, such as the spinning letter opener and floating gun.
51. I love that although we are never actually told that Max's powers take a similar toll on him as Sam's, we are given all the clues in his pallor, sweatiness and general discomfort, which parallel the pain and discomfort Sam experiences with each vision.
It's really nice, subtle storytelling, using visual cues to link the very different psychic experiences of the two individuals.
52. Oh, Sammy, bless him, the look on his face when he learns that Max's mother died in exactly the same way as his, realises that they are more closely linked than he ever imagined.
53. I love that Sam tries so damn hard to get through to Max, in his own clumsy way – his encounter with Ava in season two demonstrates again how bad he is at this – and that he comes so painfully close to convincing the severely unbalanced psychic to back down. He needs to succeed here so very much, not just for the sake of preventing Max from taking any more lives, but for his own sake, because if he and Max are linked and Max is using his power for evil, it terrifies Sam to think what that might mean for himself.
Alas, however, the damage has already been done, long before, and there is no getting through to Max. Sam was right to want to at least try, though.
54. "When my dad used to look at me, there was hate in his eyes. Do you know what that feels like?"
"No."
This episode is important in many ways. The way it demonstrates Sam's growing understanding and appreciation of his family is one of them, as Max's experience brings him to the realisation that no matter how great the disagreements between himself and his father, he has never, ever doubted John's love for him. He might have resented his upbringing intensely, and still does, but he sees clearly here that it could have been far worse, in many ways.
55. I love how very clumsy Dean's attempt at first aid on Mrs Miller is.
If it were Sam or John, he would undoubtedly make a better stab at it, but some strange woman, with Sam still in danger down below? Yeah, he's really not giving it his all.
56. "If you want to kill her, you gotta go through me first."
57. Dead Dean!
Man, that guy has died so many times in the course of the show!
58. I love how shocked Sam is when he realises that he moved the cabinet trapping him with his mind – and how swiftly he gets over his shock in order to run to his brother's rescue.
59. This shot just kills me – Sam so anguished over his failure to save Max from himself, and Dean distraught with concern for his brother, hating that Sam has to go through this.
Also? Wow, Sam dwarfs Dean in this scene.
60. "Well, I'll tell you one thing – we're lucky we had Dad."
"I never thought I'd hear you say that."
"Well, he could've gone a whole 'nother way after Mom. A little more tequila, a little less demon hunting, and we would've had Max's childhood. All things considered, we turned out okay. Thanks to him."
I love that the principle lesson Sam takes away from all this is a greater appreciation of his father, despite John's many flaws as a parent. For all that he has identified with Max, he recognises that the crucial differences in their upbringing are more important than the similarities between their mother's deaths and their psychic experiences. And as important as it is for Sam to recognise this, it is equally important for Dean to hear him say it, as Sam beginning to ease up on their father means less stress for Dean, who has spent much of his life mediating between them. It allows him to hope for reconciliation and a reunited family some day, which is his greatest and most treasured wish in the whole world.
61. I love how very in character both brothers are in that final scene, Sam utterly absorbed in his misery, fretting badly over what is happening to him and what it might mean, while Dean remains determinedly upbeat, refusing to get tied up in intangibles and doing his level best to keep Sam grounded.
Sam wants Dean to share his concern, but at the same time craves his reassurance, while also taking that steadying influence so completely for granted that he barely even realises it is there. That responsibility is extremely wearing for Dean, making it difficult for him to be truly open with his brother about his own doubts and fears, while also being something that he needs, because being needed is what gives him the strength to endure. As already discussed, this is how each of them has shaped the other, their respective needs and fears and concerns and neuroses intertwining and reacting in opposition to one another over the course of their lifetime to help make each of them who he is – to make their relationship what it is. This is a dynamic that will intensify over the seasons that follow, as their situation deteriorates, leading to unhealthy levels of emotional co-dependency that into season five they are still struggling to deal with. It is a fascinating journey to follow.
62. I love how grouchy Dean is when Sam admits he has something else to confess (we've just been through all this and now you say there's more?!) and how very careful he is to keep his reaction completely neutral – it might be more honest if he were able to admit his concerns aloud, but the intensity of Sam's fear makes that impossible.
63. I love that Sam confesses his telekinetic episode without hesitation, having kept the premonitions secret for months – Dean's calm acceptance of his psychic episodes has reassured him, as it was meant to.
But that adds to the growing pressure on Dean, because he cannot openly admit his own fears without scaring Sam. They can admit so much to one another, but no more than that, either of them.
64. I love the way Dean moves around the motel room in this scene, packing up his stuff while the brothers talk.
I love action dialogue.
65. "Aren't you worried, man, aren't you worried that I could turn into Max or something?"
"Nope. No way. You know why?"
"No. Why?"
"'Cause you've got one advantage that Max didn't have."
"Dad? Because Dad's not here, Dean."
"No. Me. As long as I'm around, nothing bad is gonna happen to you."
Oh, Dean. Oh, Sam. Oh, boys. This exchange just kills me. It typifies everything about their dynamic, the way Sam takes his brother's steady support so completely for granted that he barely even notices it is there, the way Dean unflinchingly gives his brother what he needs, solid and reassuring – and the way it foreshadows the way everything will start to fall apart for them in later seasons. Because Sam believes Dean's reassurance, clings to it desperately the more he learns about himself and his powers, and then falls apart completely when Dean is no longer around to protect him. Which…theirs is a beautiful relationship, but my God, is it messed up – a heartbreaking muddle of imperfect human nature that rings powerfully true to messy old real life!
66. "Now then, I know what we need to do about your premonitions. I know where we have to go."
"Where?"
"Vegas. What? Come on, man. Craps table. We'd clean up.
Oh, boys. Sam is so young, here, totally falling for Dean's diversionary tactic and as completely jolted out of his fit of broody introspection as Dean intended – one of the more obvious instances of Dean actively inviting his brother's derision as a means of shaking him out of a funk. As brother-handling strategies go, it is almost always successful, which is why Dean uses it so often, and Sam falls for it every time.
67. Oh, but the look on Dean's face once Sam has gone out to the car and is safely out of sight, man – all the fear and worry he's just so successfully lifted from Sam's shoulders is written all across his own face instead. Something he can't explain is happening to his little brother, and there is nothing he can do to stop it and no one he can turn to for help or advice. Taking the responsibility and worry from Sam means carrying it himself, without ever letting Sam see the strain, and there are no answers anywhere in sight.
Fabulous episode. I love it.
