"We don't always get what we want."
May. 17th, 2008 12:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
llywelaYesterday? Very mixed day. It started with a very, very, very frustratingly late torrent, followed by the Supernatural season finale and OMG Dean getting ripped apart by invisible hellhounds! They actually did it! They killed him and sent him to hell! And ended in a karaoke bar listening to a lot of very, very bad singing.
See, I had a leaving do last night, for the job I finished a month ago! Not bad going, huh? The lunch I had on my last day was for staff and volunteers, and the like. But last night? That was for me and the girls, who all work (or worked, since two of them left before I did) on an affiliated project. It has only taken us a month to find a date we could all make! Speeches, balloons, pressies – the works. Oh! And remember how just the other day I was sighing about how being unemployed is kind of heavy on teabags? Hee. They gave me a big box of teabags as one of the pressies. Mwah. Much more practical than the actual potty we gave Potty when she left! So anyway, a blast was had, and it was all good.
Oh, but the finale of Supernatural, man. I cannot remember when I have been so terrified going into an episode! I sat there hugging my knees and shaking all the way through! Awesome episode. The writing and plotting and acting were incredible – it's taken a couple of episodes, post-strike, to really get back on track, but this one? Wow. Blew me away.
Ever wish you had a tape recorder inside your head, so as to keep track of all your initial reactions? Yeah, me too.
Oh, but before I go any further, I would like to state for the record that I finished the full recap for 3.15 before this episode finished downloading. It is posted on my website, if anyone wants to mosey over and have a look, but I'm not going to post it to LJ for a few days because I figure we're all a bit too wiped out by the finale to be able to look back at previous episodes!
No Rest For The Wicked
I don't even know where to begin. How about the beginning? Carry on Wayward Son seems cemented in place as the theme of choice for finale recaps, no? I like this tradition, repetitive though it is. Oh, but the recap gives us completely gratuitous shots of Dean looking randomly pretty. That's the first moment that we know they aren't going to save him. :( And those moments come thick and fast thereafter, so many pretty, pretty close-ups. Nope, they aren't going to save him. And, you know, I've pretty much been expecting that. It makes sense, plot-wise, that the season would end with Dean's death.
I fully expect for season four to begin with Sam finding a way to get his brother back, of course – I mean, come on: they couldn't leave Sam dead for ten minutes! They aren't going to leave Dean in hell for more than an episode. The big questions are: how will Sam retrieve him, and how will they deal with the inevitable trauma? Season four needs to be a time of healing. I'd hate for the show to collapse beneath the weight of its own angst.
The opening dream sequence, Dean being chased by hellhounds, that was pretty stark. It's about time we started to see that kind of manifestation of his dread of what lies ahead. But then we have Sam looking perky, which can only mean that he's onto something. And Bobby can track down Lilith just because he knows her name? But if there are just 30 hours to go, they've known her name for three weeks already. I'm going to assume it has taken him that long to find this ritual. It's very nifty.
"What's Spanish for donkey show?"
"So, if we do save you, let's never do that."
Oh, boys. For some reason, Sam's use of the word 'if' there is really kind of chilling. It's honest. All his earlier confidence has leeched away, this close to the deadline. Oh, but then he follows it up with such a heartfelt speech: "We're going to get this done. I don't care what it takes, Dean. You're not going to go to hell. I'm not going to let you. I swear. Everything's going to be okay."
Yeah, they're not going to save him. Oh, Sam. He'll hate himself for breaking that promise. I'm not even sure he believed the words even as he was saying them, but he was taking on Dean's mantle of offering comfort, however hollow, and he will still hate himself for not keeping that promise. It's so very in keeping with the show. Dean was unable to keep the promises that he made, as well, because there was so much that was out of his hands. What matters is that they tried, but neither one sees it that way.
Oh, oh, oh! The facial distortion! I'd completely forgotten about that from Crossroad Blues! Man, that's creepy. There's no sign that Dean's hearing hellhounds yet, though. In CB, the guy was already hearing the hounds by the time he started seeing that.
"Just 'cause I've got to die doesn't mean you have to. Either we go in smart or we don't go in at all."
Right at the death, Dean is so hesitant about charging in. Oh, and he is so, so set against involving Ruby in any way. He really, really doesn't trust her and he really, really doesn't want to drag Sam down with him. "We are not going to make the same mistakes all over again."
Of course Sam sneaks off to summon Ruby anyway. That's Sam! Tell him he can't do something he wants to do, and he will always go off and do it anyway, either sneakily or with open defiance. Oh, but Dean knows that about him, so very well. Sam has caught him out too many times in the past.
I love that Sam asks Ruby how she travels so fast. I've commented on demonic teleportation so many times!
Ruby wants Sam to unlock his dormant psychic powers – I knew it. Way, way back at the start of it all, she told him that her interest in him was founded in Yellow-Eyes' mysterious plans. We speculated then that she was trying to use Sam to pick up where Yellow-Eyes left off, hoping to make use of Sam's powers to bolster her own position. And I'm so delighted to learn that Sam's powers are merely dormant, rather than completely gone, as he had hoped. I always suspected as such.
"You hate the way Dean looks at you sometimes, like you're some kind of sideshow freak." Gah. Manipulative demon. I hate that she is using Dean and Sam's fear of rejection against him.
Katie Cassidy looks really pretty in close-up in this scene. Who directed this episode? Ah, Kim Manners, of course. Man does love his pretty, pretty close-ups.
"She wants you to give into this whole demonic, psychic whatever, I mean hell: she probably wants you to become her little antichrist superstar."
Oh, Dean. So determined not to let Ruby make use of his brother in any way, protecting Sam right to the last. And he didn't believe a word of Ruby's 'I remember being human' speech from Malleus Maleficarum. Good for him – demons cannot ever be trusted.
Why does Ruby want Lilith dead? I'd guess because knocking out the major demonic leader improves her own standing in the pecking order.
Fight! Wow, Ruby's laying into Dean. She really can't stand him, and his use to her as leverage over Sam is wearing out fast. But he planned it all. Look at that grin! Trapped her and swiped her knife. Clever, clever Dean. He's been on top form these last few episodes.
"We don't always get what we want." How true that is. They're not going to save him.
Oh, boys. Gearing up for battle one last time. "Sammy, you wanted the knife, I got you the knife." Oh, Dean. And Sam suddenly willing to consider using those powers he always feared and hated so much, because Ruby planted the idea in his head and she was right, he is desperate enough to consider it now.
And then there's this scene. This conversation. I have to just repeat it verbatim, because I don't have words.
"Sam, we are not going to make the same mistake all over again."
"You said that, but what does it even mean?"
"Don't you see a pattern here? Dad's deal, my deal, now this? Every time one of us is up the creek, the other is begging to sell their soul. That's all this is, man. Ruby's just jerking your chain down the road. You know what it's paved with and you know where it's going."
"Dean, what are you afraid's going to happen? This is me, I can handle it. And if it'll save you…"
"Why even risk it?"
"Because you're my brother. Because you did the same thing for me."
"I know. And look how that turned out. All I'm saying… Sammy, all I'm saying is that you're my weak spot. You are. And I'm yours."
"You don't mean that. We're – we're family."
"I know. And those evil sons of bitches know it too. I mean: what we'll do for each other, how far we'll go – they're using it against us."
"So, what – we just stop looking out for each other?"
"No, we stop being martyrs. Man. We stop spreading it for these demons. We take this knife and we go after Lilith our way, the way Dad taught us to. And if we go down, then, uh, we go down swinging. What do you think?"
Oh, and Sam laughs. "I think you totally should have been jamming 'eye of the tiger' there."
"Oh, bite me. I totally rehearsed that speech, too." Oh, boys. Sam has got so good at that deflective humour thing to defuse an emotional moment. He knows Dean needs it – they both do. It's something Dean has done for him so often, and Sam can give a little of that back now. This whole episode is so very end of days. No, they're not going to save Dean.
This conversation is perfect. So, so perfectly in character, both of them. Dean so calm and determined, completely willing to accept his own fate if the alternative is the loss of Sam's humanity, and Sam so desperate and so blinkered, willing to clutch at any straws, believing in his own ability to master his abilities simply because he has to. Ava had to as well, in order to survive. So did Jake, when his family were threatened. They were each as desperate as Sam is now, and they gave into the temptation provided by those abilities, and were consumed. That is what Dean is afraid of. It's what Sam so steadfastly resisted all through season two – he died for his belief in his own ability to choose to remain who he is. But throughout season two he has been slowly but surely tempted in the opposite direction, and that is what Dean is standing against here, saving Sam's soul as well as his life. It's why Dean has to die.
And Sam listens to him, chooses Dean's path over Ruby's, again. All season we have heard the same message over and over: Dean can't be saved, and Sam has to learn to let go. This is the culmination of all that. The cycle of sacrifice has to be broken, and for that to happen Sam has to let go, which means that the deal Dean made has to play out.
Oh, another creepy little girl – new host since Jus in Bello. Maybe that one got incinerated along with the rest of the police station? She doesn't even have to do anything – the terror displayed by the family is enough. And the blood, and killing the cat, and just – eek. Creepy, creepy little girl.
The Impala won't start! She doesn't want to take Dean to his death! Except, no – Bobby sabotaged it! And gets away with it! "Do I look like a ditch-able prom date to you?" Bobby rocks.
"This is about me. And Sam. This isn't your fight."
"The hell it isn't. Family don't end with blood, boy." Oh, Bobby. And he knows about the hallucinations. Because he's smart. Yes, he is.
Shades of Salvation, Sam trying to make a goodbye-and-thanks speech, just in case, and Dean unable to go there. "If this is my last day on earth, I do not want it to be socially awkward." Oh, Dean. "Bon Jovi rocks. On occasion." And singing! Loudly, and badly, and not caring, because that's the point. And Sam! Joining in and really getting into it and dorking out. Sharing one last car ride together, and it's embarrassing as hell and perfect. But Dean drops out of the singing, because he knows and he just can't and just…yeah. They're not going to save him.
Possessed cop! Dean can see the demon inside the human now? Wow. Now there's a going-to-hell side effect and a half. "I'm glad my doomed soul's good for something." Just over five hours to go now, eek. Those final hours are really trickling away fast. "This is a terrific plan. I'm excited to be a part of it. Can we go now, please?" Ah, Dean. Don't ever change. And then he argues against charging in and killing a ten-year-old girl, even though she has Lilith inside her, but both Sam and Bobby argue for it as the only way – easy to say in abstract. Not so easy when face to face with the actual child.
The body count for this episode is really pretty high – that's a lot of collateral damage to rack up in an effort to save one man. Except, as Sam points out, this isn't just about saving Dean. It's about taking out Lilith, who stands at the head of a demonic army. It's about saving everyone.
Sam wipes the bloody knife on his sleeve. Ick. Remember the Sam we first met, back at Stanford? He's hardened so much since then. I mourn for his loss of innocence even as I am proud of how much he has grown.
"I'd like my knife, back, please. Or your neck snaps like a chicken bone." Nice to see you, too, Ruby. Dean's reaction to her demonic face, that we can't see, is brilliant. Mwah. I think I actually kind of love how much these two despise one another, and yet are bound together by their mutual interest in Sam.
Holy water sprinklers! Dean's delight is fabulous. Go, Bobby! Oh, but then comes fear for Bobby's safety. Show has such a bad habit of killing off all their recurring characters, eventually. Don't hurt Bobby!
Care and concern for the safety of misguided innocents. Please, never lose that. It's so telling that Dean is the one who deals with both civilians; even this close to his own death, his focus on protecting the innocent remains intact. Oh, Dean.
Sam versus sleeping demon child – can he bring himself to do it, to slaughter a little girl in her sleep to destroy the demon hiding inside her? Awful, awful, tense, tense moment – Sam has hardened so much this season, but this would be another step again, and it's unbearable, and he can't do it, can't do it, and the mother is egging him on and then he decides he must and ARGH! The suspense. GAH and then Dean stops him just in time and the demon has moved to someone else – but who? And Sam is saved from having to take that reprehensible step, just as Dean has saved Sam so many times before, in so many ways. Dean always saves Sam. What is Sam going to do without him?
They're not going to save him. It's thunderingly obvious all the way through, right from those randomly pretty shots in the recap.
Bobby's trapped outside, taking refuge in another house. He can't get past the demon guards to go in and help, and time is running out, and it's tearing him apart, you can see it. Nope, family don't end with blood. I'm glad he's safe. My heart breaks for the agonies he must be going through, unable to help the boys in these final minutes. He loves Dean like a son. Sam's death was bad enough, but this?
Down to the final minute, and Sam is willing to do anything – unlock his powers, anything. Desperate and freaking out and unable to see anything but the salvation he craves for his brother. But Dean still won't let him, still holds on to Sam's humanity for him.
"I'm not going to let you go to hell, Dean!"
"Yes, you are!" time's up and Dean knows it, and is willing to pay that price for Sam, but oh, Sam's face. "I'm sorry. This is all my fault. I know that." Oh, Dean. He always, always blames himself. "But what you're doing, it's not going to save me. It's only going to kill you."
"Then what am I supposed to do?" Oh, Sam. Dean asked that very question when Sam died.
"Keep fighting. Take care of my wheels. Sammy, remember what Dad taught you. Okay? Remember what I taught you." Oh God. Dean so rarely acknowledges how big a part he played in Sam's upbringing. This is that goodbye speech he refused earlier, but now time is up and it's all over, and he needs it, and Sam needs it, and just…*sob* Just those few concise sentences and he says everything that needs to be said, and there's nothing even the slightest bit sappy or melodramatic about it. It's just sad, because this is the end and they both know it.
And then it's midnight. And the looks they give each other, knowing it's all over, Sam with tears rolling down his face, and Dean managing a smile to try and comfort him. Boys! And then there are hellhounds, and there comes that sick, sick dread again.
Goofer dust! But it doesn't hold them back for long; we already know that.
Lilith in Ruby's body! Now there's a neat twist. Shades of Devil's Trap, with the brothers' pinned like that. Where did Lilith send Ruby? Curious. Nice acting by Katie Cassidy, as Lilith. She still isn't a great actress, but she's young and still learning. I think she'll get there. "Silly goose. You want to bargain, you have to have something that I want. Tut-tut-tut, you don't."
"I don't have to answer to puppy chow." Oh, no. No, no, no. Oh, but she does. Lets the hellhounds in and, just…damn.
They actually did it. I was expecting that the deal would have to play out, and I'm happy that Dean held onto Sam's humanity for him, kept him from going over the edge. The cycle of sacrifice has been broken, and that needed to happen. But, but but…Dean. I still, I just can't quite believe the show actually had the guts to go down this road, to let him get torn to shreds on screen. Dean screaming in agony, and Sam screaming in despair, and having to watch – shades of Devil's Trap again, only so much worse, and Sam has been captive witness to so many murders lately – and so much blood, and Lilith laughing, and will any of us ever get over that?
And then Lilith turns on Sam and white-out, and…game over? But no! Her death-ray bounces right off! How? Why? Did Sam tap into his powers somehow, right there at the death? Or is he immune to her? Is that what the Croatoan thing was all about, that immunity to Yellow-Eyes' demonic virus we already know he has? Was Yellow-Eyes preparing his special children – the general of his army – to fight a war not just as a leader of demons against humans, but against other demonic factions? We already know the special children were immune to one another's powers. Is that was the ingestion of demonic blood as an infant was all about? And yet he isn't immune to all demonic powers – they are all perfectly able to hold him down at will. Intriguing! It's been a long time since I was so excited about the mytharc!
One thing seems certain: however he did it, Sam is going to be devastated that he was able to save himself but couldn't use that unknown ability to save Dean.
Lilith is so, so scared of Sam. That's really intriguing. She was already nervous of him – she has avoided face-to-face confrontations before, but once she was in the room with him seemed supremely confident in her ability to destroy him. Having her death-ray just bounce off though? That terrifies her, and it is good, and sets up all kinds of intriguing possibilities for season four. Good for Sam that he reacts to her failure to kill him much faster than she does, oh and so wrathful, as he should be. Once Lilith vacates the body, of course, it should be dead – but will Ruby manage to get back inside before the corpse is disposed of? Or is she still in there, just locked away by the dominant demon in the same way that all demons lock away the souls of the humans they possess?
And then…Dean. Just lying there all mangled and bloody and torn to shreds, and he died while Sam wasn't looking, and Sam! The acting in this episode is incredible. Sam's trembling lips as he tries not to cry, and the way his face crumples, and the tears dripping off his nose when he can no longer hold them back, and his broken little voice as he whispers for Dean to wake up, oh man. I will never, ever be able to watch this without sobbing.
Oh, but and then! Then…we actually honest-to-god go into hell! I thought Kripke said they didn't have the budget to attempt anything like that. Not so much with the fire and brimstone, but that torment we've heard so much about – that's all there. Oh, Dean. They poked him through with meat hooks! And he's screaming for help, for Sam, and he is completely alone and that is his worst nightmare ever, and oh Dean.
*whimpers*
How are we going to get through hiatus?
See, I had a leaving do last night, for the job I finished a month ago! Not bad going, huh? The lunch I had on my last day was for staff and volunteers, and the like. But last night? That was for me and the girls, who all work (or worked, since two of them left before I did) on an affiliated project. It has only taken us a month to find a date we could all make! Speeches, balloons, pressies – the works. Oh! And remember how just the other day I was sighing about how being unemployed is kind of heavy on teabags? Hee. They gave me a big box of teabags as one of the pressies. Mwah. Much more practical than the actual potty we gave Potty when she left! So anyway, a blast was had, and it was all good.
Oh, but the finale of Supernatural, man. I cannot remember when I have been so terrified going into an episode! I sat there hugging my knees and shaking all the way through! Awesome episode. The writing and plotting and acting were incredible – it's taken a couple of episodes, post-strike, to really get back on track, but this one? Wow. Blew me away.
Ever wish you had a tape recorder inside your head, so as to keep track of all your initial reactions? Yeah, me too.
Oh, but before I go any further, I would like to state for the record that I finished the full recap for 3.15 before this episode finished downloading. It is posted on my website, if anyone wants to mosey over and have a look, but I'm not going to post it to LJ for a few days because I figure we're all a bit too wiped out by the finale to be able to look back at previous episodes!
No Rest For The Wicked
I don't even know where to begin. How about the beginning? Carry on Wayward Son seems cemented in place as the theme of choice for finale recaps, no? I like this tradition, repetitive though it is. Oh, but the recap gives us completely gratuitous shots of Dean looking randomly pretty. That's the first moment that we know they aren't going to save him. :( And those moments come thick and fast thereafter, so many pretty, pretty close-ups. Nope, they aren't going to save him. And, you know, I've pretty much been expecting that. It makes sense, plot-wise, that the season would end with Dean's death.
I fully expect for season four to begin with Sam finding a way to get his brother back, of course – I mean, come on: they couldn't leave Sam dead for ten minutes! They aren't going to leave Dean in hell for more than an episode. The big questions are: how will Sam retrieve him, and how will they deal with the inevitable trauma? Season four needs to be a time of healing. I'd hate for the show to collapse beneath the weight of its own angst.
The opening dream sequence, Dean being chased by hellhounds, that was pretty stark. It's about time we started to see that kind of manifestation of his dread of what lies ahead. But then we have Sam looking perky, which can only mean that he's onto something. And Bobby can track down Lilith just because he knows her name? But if there are just 30 hours to go, they've known her name for three weeks already. I'm going to assume it has taken him that long to find this ritual. It's very nifty.
"What's Spanish for donkey show?"
"So, if we do save you, let's never do that."
Oh, boys. For some reason, Sam's use of the word 'if' there is really kind of chilling. It's honest. All his earlier confidence has leeched away, this close to the deadline. Oh, but then he follows it up with such a heartfelt speech: "We're going to get this done. I don't care what it takes, Dean. You're not going to go to hell. I'm not going to let you. I swear. Everything's going to be okay."
Yeah, they're not going to save him. Oh, Sam. He'll hate himself for breaking that promise. I'm not even sure he believed the words even as he was saying them, but he was taking on Dean's mantle of offering comfort, however hollow, and he will still hate himself for not keeping that promise. It's so very in keeping with the show. Dean was unable to keep the promises that he made, as well, because there was so much that was out of his hands. What matters is that they tried, but neither one sees it that way.
Oh, oh, oh! The facial distortion! I'd completely forgotten about that from Crossroad Blues! Man, that's creepy. There's no sign that Dean's hearing hellhounds yet, though. In CB, the guy was already hearing the hounds by the time he started seeing that.
"Just 'cause I've got to die doesn't mean you have to. Either we go in smart or we don't go in at all."
Right at the death, Dean is so hesitant about charging in. Oh, and he is so, so set against involving Ruby in any way. He really, really doesn't trust her and he really, really doesn't want to drag Sam down with him. "We are not going to make the same mistakes all over again."
Of course Sam sneaks off to summon Ruby anyway. That's Sam! Tell him he can't do something he wants to do, and he will always go off and do it anyway, either sneakily or with open defiance. Oh, but Dean knows that about him, so very well. Sam has caught him out too many times in the past.
I love that Sam asks Ruby how she travels so fast. I've commented on demonic teleportation so many times!
Ruby wants Sam to unlock his dormant psychic powers – I knew it. Way, way back at the start of it all, she told him that her interest in him was founded in Yellow-Eyes' mysterious plans. We speculated then that she was trying to use Sam to pick up where Yellow-Eyes left off, hoping to make use of Sam's powers to bolster her own position. And I'm so delighted to learn that Sam's powers are merely dormant, rather than completely gone, as he had hoped. I always suspected as such.
"You hate the way Dean looks at you sometimes, like you're some kind of sideshow freak." Gah. Manipulative demon. I hate that she is using Dean and Sam's fear of rejection against him.
Katie Cassidy looks really pretty in close-up in this scene. Who directed this episode? Ah, Kim Manners, of course. Man does love his pretty, pretty close-ups.
"She wants you to give into this whole demonic, psychic whatever, I mean hell: she probably wants you to become her little antichrist superstar."
Oh, Dean. So determined not to let Ruby make use of his brother in any way, protecting Sam right to the last. And he didn't believe a word of Ruby's 'I remember being human' speech from Malleus Maleficarum. Good for him – demons cannot ever be trusted.
Why does Ruby want Lilith dead? I'd guess because knocking out the major demonic leader improves her own standing in the pecking order.
Fight! Wow, Ruby's laying into Dean. She really can't stand him, and his use to her as leverage over Sam is wearing out fast. But he planned it all. Look at that grin! Trapped her and swiped her knife. Clever, clever Dean. He's been on top form these last few episodes.
"We don't always get what we want." How true that is. They're not going to save him.
Oh, boys. Gearing up for battle one last time. "Sammy, you wanted the knife, I got you the knife." Oh, Dean. And Sam suddenly willing to consider using those powers he always feared and hated so much, because Ruby planted the idea in his head and she was right, he is desperate enough to consider it now.
And then there's this scene. This conversation. I have to just repeat it verbatim, because I don't have words.
"Sam, we are not going to make the same mistake all over again."
"You said that, but what does it even mean?"
"Don't you see a pattern here? Dad's deal, my deal, now this? Every time one of us is up the creek, the other is begging to sell their soul. That's all this is, man. Ruby's just jerking your chain down the road. You know what it's paved with and you know where it's going."
"Dean, what are you afraid's going to happen? This is me, I can handle it. And if it'll save you…"
"Why even risk it?"
"Because you're my brother. Because you did the same thing for me."
"I know. And look how that turned out. All I'm saying… Sammy, all I'm saying is that you're my weak spot. You are. And I'm yours."
"You don't mean that. We're – we're family."
"I know. And those evil sons of bitches know it too. I mean: what we'll do for each other, how far we'll go – they're using it against us."
"So, what – we just stop looking out for each other?"
"No, we stop being martyrs. Man. We stop spreading it for these demons. We take this knife and we go after Lilith our way, the way Dad taught us to. And if we go down, then, uh, we go down swinging. What do you think?"
Oh, and Sam laughs. "I think you totally should have been jamming 'eye of the tiger' there."
"Oh, bite me. I totally rehearsed that speech, too." Oh, boys. Sam has got so good at that deflective humour thing to defuse an emotional moment. He knows Dean needs it – they both do. It's something Dean has done for him so often, and Sam can give a little of that back now. This whole episode is so very end of days. No, they're not going to save Dean.
This conversation is perfect. So, so perfectly in character, both of them. Dean so calm and determined, completely willing to accept his own fate if the alternative is the loss of Sam's humanity, and Sam so desperate and so blinkered, willing to clutch at any straws, believing in his own ability to master his abilities simply because he has to. Ava had to as well, in order to survive. So did Jake, when his family were threatened. They were each as desperate as Sam is now, and they gave into the temptation provided by those abilities, and were consumed. That is what Dean is afraid of. It's what Sam so steadfastly resisted all through season two – he died for his belief in his own ability to choose to remain who he is. But throughout season two he has been slowly but surely tempted in the opposite direction, and that is what Dean is standing against here, saving Sam's soul as well as his life. It's why Dean has to die.
And Sam listens to him, chooses Dean's path over Ruby's, again. All season we have heard the same message over and over: Dean can't be saved, and Sam has to learn to let go. This is the culmination of all that. The cycle of sacrifice has to be broken, and for that to happen Sam has to let go, which means that the deal Dean made has to play out.
Oh, another creepy little girl – new host since Jus in Bello. Maybe that one got incinerated along with the rest of the police station? She doesn't even have to do anything – the terror displayed by the family is enough. And the blood, and killing the cat, and just – eek. Creepy, creepy little girl.
The Impala won't start! She doesn't want to take Dean to his death! Except, no – Bobby sabotaged it! And gets away with it! "Do I look like a ditch-able prom date to you?" Bobby rocks.
"This is about me. And Sam. This isn't your fight."
"The hell it isn't. Family don't end with blood, boy." Oh, Bobby. And he knows about the hallucinations. Because he's smart. Yes, he is.
Shades of Salvation, Sam trying to make a goodbye-and-thanks speech, just in case, and Dean unable to go there. "If this is my last day on earth, I do not want it to be socially awkward." Oh, Dean. "Bon Jovi rocks. On occasion." And singing! Loudly, and badly, and not caring, because that's the point. And Sam! Joining in and really getting into it and dorking out. Sharing one last car ride together, and it's embarrassing as hell and perfect. But Dean drops out of the singing, because he knows and he just can't and just…yeah. They're not going to save him.
Possessed cop! Dean can see the demon inside the human now? Wow. Now there's a going-to-hell side effect and a half. "I'm glad my doomed soul's good for something." Just over five hours to go now, eek. Those final hours are really trickling away fast. "This is a terrific plan. I'm excited to be a part of it. Can we go now, please?" Ah, Dean. Don't ever change. And then he argues against charging in and killing a ten-year-old girl, even though she has Lilith inside her, but both Sam and Bobby argue for it as the only way – easy to say in abstract. Not so easy when face to face with the actual child.
The body count for this episode is really pretty high – that's a lot of collateral damage to rack up in an effort to save one man. Except, as Sam points out, this isn't just about saving Dean. It's about taking out Lilith, who stands at the head of a demonic army. It's about saving everyone.
Sam wipes the bloody knife on his sleeve. Ick. Remember the Sam we first met, back at Stanford? He's hardened so much since then. I mourn for his loss of innocence even as I am proud of how much he has grown.
"I'd like my knife, back, please. Or your neck snaps like a chicken bone." Nice to see you, too, Ruby. Dean's reaction to her demonic face, that we can't see, is brilliant. Mwah. I think I actually kind of love how much these two despise one another, and yet are bound together by their mutual interest in Sam.
Holy water sprinklers! Dean's delight is fabulous. Go, Bobby! Oh, but then comes fear for Bobby's safety. Show has such a bad habit of killing off all their recurring characters, eventually. Don't hurt Bobby!
Care and concern for the safety of misguided innocents. Please, never lose that. It's so telling that Dean is the one who deals with both civilians; even this close to his own death, his focus on protecting the innocent remains intact. Oh, Dean.
Sam versus sleeping demon child – can he bring himself to do it, to slaughter a little girl in her sleep to destroy the demon hiding inside her? Awful, awful, tense, tense moment – Sam has hardened so much this season, but this would be another step again, and it's unbearable, and he can't do it, can't do it, and the mother is egging him on and then he decides he must and ARGH! The suspense. GAH and then Dean stops him just in time and the demon has moved to someone else – but who? And Sam is saved from having to take that reprehensible step, just as Dean has saved Sam so many times before, in so many ways. Dean always saves Sam. What is Sam going to do without him?
They're not going to save him. It's thunderingly obvious all the way through, right from those randomly pretty shots in the recap.
Bobby's trapped outside, taking refuge in another house. He can't get past the demon guards to go in and help, and time is running out, and it's tearing him apart, you can see it. Nope, family don't end with blood. I'm glad he's safe. My heart breaks for the agonies he must be going through, unable to help the boys in these final minutes. He loves Dean like a son. Sam's death was bad enough, but this?
Down to the final minute, and Sam is willing to do anything – unlock his powers, anything. Desperate and freaking out and unable to see anything but the salvation he craves for his brother. But Dean still won't let him, still holds on to Sam's humanity for him.
"I'm not going to let you go to hell, Dean!"
"Yes, you are!" time's up and Dean knows it, and is willing to pay that price for Sam, but oh, Sam's face. "I'm sorry. This is all my fault. I know that." Oh, Dean. He always, always blames himself. "But what you're doing, it's not going to save me. It's only going to kill you."
"Then what am I supposed to do?" Oh, Sam. Dean asked that very question when Sam died.
"Keep fighting. Take care of my wheels. Sammy, remember what Dad taught you. Okay? Remember what I taught you." Oh God. Dean so rarely acknowledges how big a part he played in Sam's upbringing. This is that goodbye speech he refused earlier, but now time is up and it's all over, and he needs it, and Sam needs it, and just…*sob* Just those few concise sentences and he says everything that needs to be said, and there's nothing even the slightest bit sappy or melodramatic about it. It's just sad, because this is the end and they both know it.
And then it's midnight. And the looks they give each other, knowing it's all over, Sam with tears rolling down his face, and Dean managing a smile to try and comfort him. Boys! And then there are hellhounds, and there comes that sick, sick dread again.
Goofer dust! But it doesn't hold them back for long; we already know that.
Lilith in Ruby's body! Now there's a neat twist. Shades of Devil's Trap, with the brothers' pinned like that. Where did Lilith send Ruby? Curious. Nice acting by Katie Cassidy, as Lilith. She still isn't a great actress, but she's young and still learning. I think she'll get there. "Silly goose. You want to bargain, you have to have something that I want. Tut-tut-tut, you don't."
"I don't have to answer to puppy chow." Oh, no. No, no, no. Oh, but she does. Lets the hellhounds in and, just…damn.
They actually did it. I was expecting that the deal would have to play out, and I'm happy that Dean held onto Sam's humanity for him, kept him from going over the edge. The cycle of sacrifice has been broken, and that needed to happen. But, but but…Dean. I still, I just can't quite believe the show actually had the guts to go down this road, to let him get torn to shreds on screen. Dean screaming in agony, and Sam screaming in despair, and having to watch – shades of Devil's Trap again, only so much worse, and Sam has been captive witness to so many murders lately – and so much blood, and Lilith laughing, and will any of us ever get over that?
And then Lilith turns on Sam and white-out, and…game over? But no! Her death-ray bounces right off! How? Why? Did Sam tap into his powers somehow, right there at the death? Or is he immune to her? Is that what the Croatoan thing was all about, that immunity to Yellow-Eyes' demonic virus we already know he has? Was Yellow-Eyes preparing his special children – the general of his army – to fight a war not just as a leader of demons against humans, but against other demonic factions? We already know the special children were immune to one another's powers. Is that was the ingestion of demonic blood as an infant was all about? And yet he isn't immune to all demonic powers – they are all perfectly able to hold him down at will. Intriguing! It's been a long time since I was so excited about the mytharc!
One thing seems certain: however he did it, Sam is going to be devastated that he was able to save himself but couldn't use that unknown ability to save Dean.
Lilith is so, so scared of Sam. That's really intriguing. She was already nervous of him – she has avoided face-to-face confrontations before, but once she was in the room with him seemed supremely confident in her ability to destroy him. Having her death-ray just bounce off though? That terrifies her, and it is good, and sets up all kinds of intriguing possibilities for season four. Good for Sam that he reacts to her failure to kill him much faster than she does, oh and so wrathful, as he should be. Once Lilith vacates the body, of course, it should be dead – but will Ruby manage to get back inside before the corpse is disposed of? Or is she still in there, just locked away by the dominant demon in the same way that all demons lock away the souls of the humans they possess?
And then…Dean. Just lying there all mangled and bloody and torn to shreds, and he died while Sam wasn't looking, and Sam! The acting in this episode is incredible. Sam's trembling lips as he tries not to cry, and the way his face crumples, and the tears dripping off his nose when he can no longer hold them back, and his broken little voice as he whispers for Dean to wake up, oh man. I will never, ever be able to watch this without sobbing.
Oh, but and then! Then…we actually honest-to-god go into hell! I thought Kripke said they didn't have the budget to attempt anything like that. Not so much with the fire and brimstone, but that torment we've heard so much about – that's all there. Oh, Dean. They poked him through with meat hooks! And he's screaming for help, for Sam, and he is completely alone and that is his worst nightmare ever, and oh Dean.
*whimpers*
How are we going to get through hiatus?
