you have to know that deep down Dean thinks his brother would never have spoken to him again if Jess hadn't died. Oooooh, galathea_snb and I spent hours discussing that very point the other week! She would like to believe that the brothers would have stayed in touch in that eventuality, but I kind of think it would have been too difficult for Sam to maintain once he was back in his safe, normal life. Especially since Dean, on the phone hundreds of miles away and all alone, having been rejected in favour of that safe, normal life, would never have given him the full story on what was going on. I think Sam would have started out with the best of intentions, but eventually would out of sheer self-preservation have stopped taking the calls after a while :(
I can't imagine how devastating it must have been for Dean to see Sam start to spiral down the same road as John in season one. He keeps such a wonderfully strong grip on things, in the early episodes of the season especially.
I'm dying for a scene where Sam tells Dean what he deserves to know - that he does love his brother, that nothing Dean can do will make Sam not to love him. And that Dean's soul is worth just as much as Sam's is. I think Sam's been trying to get that point across in season three, although not quite as clearly as you've expressed it there, since Sam has his own issues. But it's hard, because Dean kind of shuts down on conversations like that. And because 20+ years of emotional damage can't be put right with just a few words. Sam can say it till he's blue in the face, but he can't make Dean believe it, deep down in those parts of his soul that have been so damaged. The sad truth is that emotional damage suffered in childhood often never heals, can leave terrible scars.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2008-01-25 07:54 am (UTC)Oooooh,
I can't imagine how devastating it must have been for Dean to see Sam start to spiral down the same road as John in season one. He keeps such a wonderfully strong grip on things, in the early episodes of the season especially.
I'm dying for a scene where Sam tells Dean what he deserves to know - that he does love his brother, that nothing Dean can do will make Sam not to love him. And that Dean's soul is worth just as much as Sam's is.
I think Sam's been trying to get that point across in season three, although not quite as clearly as you've expressed it there, since Sam has his own issues. But it's hard, because Dean kind of shuts down on conversations like that. And because 20+ years of emotional damage can't be put right with just a few words. Sam can say it till he's blue in the face, but he can't make Dean believe it, deep down in those parts of his soul that have been so damaged. The sad truth is that emotional damage suffered in childhood often never heals, can leave terrible scars.
*hugs the boys*