Alfie

Doesn't everyone keep a cat in their shopping bag?


Alfie: Pet me! Pet me! Love me!
Me: *pets*
Alfie: Hey look, you have two hands. Pet me with the other hand! I want them both! I must have all of the hands!
Me: *double-handed petting*
Alfie: Ohhhhhhh, yes. This is nice.
Me: *takes one hand away to resume typing*
Alfie: Wait, what? Where did the hand go? Give me the hand! I need all the hands!
Me: *resumes double-handed petting*
Alfie: Ohhhhhhh. yes. Petting good. This is nice, isn't it, human slave? We shall stay like this always, m'kay.