the singing waiter

Went out for a meal with my parents today to celebrate their wedding anniversary - 35 years, not doing bad.

So we go to the Hollybush, which does a nice carvery, very reasonably priced. Have a very nice meal and are just waiting for Small to finish up when we hear a thin, high-pitched voice starting to sing. "Here we are, isn't this nice, having a meal, aren't we all happy..."

We look around and see a group of elderly people being shown to their table by a teenage waiter. It's the waiter who is singing. He proceeds to do the rounds of all the tables in the side room, where we were, singing happily as he goes. "Have you finished with that, I hope it was a good meal, I'll take those glasses away, how happy we are, I couldn't sleep last night because I missed all the people..."

By now, Small's eyes are popping out of her head and she's starting to get a bit freaked. "I don't like it, he's a little bit odd!" Around the room, people are rushing to finish their meals as fast as they can. And this little bloke, who clearly has a learning disability, is merrily pottering around the room clearing tables and narrating tunefully as he goes. He comes back to our table, which is all clear apart from Small's drink, which she is still slowly working her way through. Dad teasingly calls her a slow coach, and the waiter promptly comes over all playful and starts singing again. "Ooh, he called you a slow coach, isn't that dreadful, shall I beat him up for you?" And Small says yes. So this truly bizarre little waiter promptly pretends to punch Dad, and Mum, and then play-collapses to the floor groaning that all his strength has gone, leaps back up to apologise (still singing) for taking all their strength and whoosh plays at zapping strength back into them, before play-collapsing again because he's just given them all his strength. Small has now finished her drink at a rate of knots, because - weird.

We make a sharp exit. And by now so has most of the room! While people who have just sat down are looking a bit nervous...

So, so funny. I mean, good for the Hollybush for employing someone with a learning disability, but this little chap clearly has no idea of appropriate behaviour when serving customers. So I suspect the future clientele are going to divide neatly into two - those that eat and escape as fast as possible to escape this bizarre little bloke, and those that go specifically to enjoy the weird little floor show he puts on!

Happy Anniversary, Mum and Dad, huh. Then in church the speaker was Mr Matheson who married them 35 years ago - theirs was the first wedding he took - and as coincidence would have it he chose one of their wedding hymns for the service!

Weird day. But, on the bright side, it was entertaining. And we spent the afternoon pottering around the garden centre. I was good and didn't let myself buy any new plants (apart from a really pretty little viola), but did invest in a couple of new pots, as I've got a couple of plants that really need re-potting. Specifically, my little willow tree, which has seriously outgrown the pot it's in and is getting desperate, and the triffid that has appeared out of nowhere in my planter. Now that it is finally in flower I can see that it is a hollyhock, so heaven only knows how it got there. I didn't plant it. And at over 5feet high it is way too big for the little 5x4 stone planter it has appeared in, dwarfing everything else. But it's pretty, so rather than getting rid of it, I'll try taking it out and giving it a pot of its own. So now I just need a nice dry day to do my re-potting.

the singing waiter

Went out for a meal with my parents today to celebrate their wedding anniversary - 35 years, not doing bad.

So we go to the Hollybush, which does a nice carvery, very reasonably priced. Have a very nice meal and are just waiting for Small to finish up when we hear a thin, high-pitched voice starting to sing. "Here we are, isn't this nice, having a meal, aren't we all happy..."

We look around and see a group of elderly people being shown to their table by a teenage waiter. It's the waiter who is singing. He proceeds to do the rounds of all the tables in the side room, where we were, singing happily as he goes. "Have you finished with that, I hope it was a good meal, I'll take those glasses away, how happy we are, I couldn't sleep last night because I missed all the people..."

By now, Small's eyes are popping out of her head and she's starting to get a bit freaked. "I don't like it, he's a little bit odd!" Around the room, people are rushing to finish their meals as fast as they can. And this little bloke, who clearly has a learning disability, is merrily pottering around the room clearing tables and narrating tunefully as he goes. He comes back to our table, which is all clear apart from Small's drink, which she is still slowly working her way through. Dad teasingly calls her a slow coach, and the waiter promptly comes over all playful and starts singing again. "Ooh, he called you a slow coach, isn't that dreadful, shall I beat him up for you?" And Small says yes. So this truly bizarre little waiter promptly pretends to punch Dad, and Mum, and then play-collapses to the floor groaning that all his strength has gone, leaps back up to apologise (still singing) for taking all their strength and whoosh plays at zapping strength back into them, before play-collapsing again because he's just given them all his strength. Small has now finished her drink at a rate of knots, because - weird.

We make a sharp exit. And by now so has most of the room! While people who have just sat down are looking a bit nervous...

So, so funny. I mean, good for the Hollybush for employing someone with a learning disability, but this little chap clearly has no idea of appropriate behaviour when serving customers. So I suspect the future clientele are going to divide neatly into two - those that eat and escape as fast as possible to escape this bizarre little bloke, and those that go specifically to enjoy the weird little floor show he puts on!

Happy Anniversary, Mum and Dad, huh. Then in church the speaker was Mr Matheson who married them 35 years ago - theirs was the first wedding he took - and as coincidence would have it he chose one of their wedding hymns for the service!

Weird day. But, on the bright side, it was entertaining. And we spent the afternoon pottering around the garden centre. I was good and didn't let myself buy any new plants (apart from a really pretty little viola), but did invest in a couple of new pots, as I've got a couple of plants that really need re-potting. Specifically, my little willow tree, which has seriously outgrown the pot it's in and is getting desperate, and the triffid that has appeared out of nowhere in my planter. Now that it is finally in flower I can see that it is a hollyhock, so heaven only knows how it got there. I didn't plant it. And at over 5feet high it is way too big for the little 5x4 stone planter it has appeared in, dwarfing everything else. But it's pretty, so rather than getting rid of it, I'll try taking it out and giving it a pot of its own. So now I just need a nice dry day to do my re-potting.