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Spent yesterday evening around at my friend Molly's house, cooking a meal for us both and swapping our latest news. Moll's son Jason has moved back in, at the moment just for the week but it could end up being more long-term, and she's really struggling to get used to having someone else in the house again. She's like me - likes having her own space!
For those that don't know the background, Molly is a good friend of mine dating back to the days we worked together at social services, despite the age gap - I'm 28, she's 65, but we've always been good friends. Jason is her youngest son, he's been married to Abigail for about 10 years and they have a 15 month old son, Joseph. Joseph has been in hospital since last July, when he was diagnosed with lymphoma and leukaemia at the age of just 9 months.
It has been a terrible time for the family, and Jason and Abigail have pretty much fallen apart. Abigail blames Jason for this, but from an external perspective she comes across as the unreasonable one. She has made all the decisions, deciding to separate, cutting Jason out as much as possible, deciding she wants a divorce - despite this being the worst possible time to be making huge decisions like this. Jason has given her everything she's asked for - including the car, and the largest share of the sale of their house - trying to do what's right for Joseph. When it's all over, Jason will be left with pretty much nothing, including his son.
This week, Joseph has been allowed out of hospital overnight for the first time since July - he's at home for a week, being carefully monitored to see how he does. If the week is successful (and he's already had to be taken back in for tests as he's become poorly again, but mostly because of the upheaval of being out of the only environment he remembers) Abigail will be allowed to take him home. She wants to move back to live with her parents in Bath, with Joseph's ongoing treatment being transferred to the sister hospital in Bristol.
So, Jason has gone to stay with Molly for the week so that Abigail can have the house to herself while Joseph is at home - she's been living at the hospital with him for months now. The house is sold, and in five weeks time the new owners will take up occupancy. Their possessions will have to be sold and, again, Abigail will get most of the money for that despite having not worked for years even before the baby was born; Jason has been the sole breadwinner, paying for everything they have. And the chances are that Jason will end up living back home with Molly more permanently, at least until he's able to afford a place of his own again.
It is a terribly sad situation. I've tried to be a good friend to Moll and support her through all the ups and downs of Joseph's illness and Abigail's extremes of behaviour (only touched upon here), as she's found it all very hard to deal with. I just hope Jason will be able to sort himself out once it is all resolved.
For those that don't know the background, Molly is a good friend of mine dating back to the days we worked together at social services, despite the age gap - I'm 28, she's 65, but we've always been good friends. Jason is her youngest son, he's been married to Abigail for about 10 years and they have a 15 month old son, Joseph. Joseph has been in hospital since last July, when he was diagnosed with lymphoma and leukaemia at the age of just 9 months.
It has been a terrible time for the family, and Jason and Abigail have pretty much fallen apart. Abigail blames Jason for this, but from an external perspective she comes across as the unreasonable one. She has made all the decisions, deciding to separate, cutting Jason out as much as possible, deciding she wants a divorce - despite this being the worst possible time to be making huge decisions like this. Jason has given her everything she's asked for - including the car, and the largest share of the sale of their house - trying to do what's right for Joseph. When it's all over, Jason will be left with pretty much nothing, including his son.
This week, Joseph has been allowed out of hospital overnight for the first time since July - he's at home for a week, being carefully monitored to see how he does. If the week is successful (and he's already had to be taken back in for tests as he's become poorly again, but mostly because of the upheaval of being out of the only environment he remembers) Abigail will be allowed to take him home. She wants to move back to live with her parents in Bath, with Joseph's ongoing treatment being transferred to the sister hospital in Bristol.
So, Jason has gone to stay with Molly for the week so that Abigail can have the house to herself while Joseph is at home - she's been living at the hospital with him for months now. The house is sold, and in five weeks time the new owners will take up occupancy. Their possessions will have to be sold and, again, Abigail will get most of the money for that despite having not worked for years even before the baby was born; Jason has been the sole breadwinner, paying for everything they have. And the chances are that Jason will end up living back home with Molly more permanently, at least until he's able to afford a place of his own again.
It is a terribly sad situation. I've tried to be a good friend to Moll and support her through all the ups and downs of Joseph's illness and Abigail's extremes of behaviour (only touched upon here), as she's found it all very hard to deal with. I just hope Jason will be able to sort himself out once it is all resolved.
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