alone again
Apr. 3rd, 2023 07:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
llywelaAfter two-and-a-half weeks, I am alone again. Peace and quiet and aloneness.
Things have been a bit hectic. I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that my Auntie Lesley had passed away. March 17th, it was a Friday, and it hit quite hard because I've always been close to Auntie Lel. I saw her last on 3rd March 2020. It was her 74th birthday, it fell on a Tuesday, which was the day I always went to see her anyway, had done for years at that point, ever since the brush with death that left her so frail and semi-housebound. In her day, when she was younger and healthier, she was the most active person imaginable. She was the neighbourhood gossip, the busybody, she knew everything about everybody within the confines of the suburb where she'd lived her entire life, and she would do absolutely anything to help anyone who needed it. She'd give you the shirt off her own back if she thought it would help. She was just lovely. She loved her home and she loved her family, was happiest when she had us all around her. So when she could no longer go out and about the way she used to, it fell on us, her family, to go to her. And we did, those of us who lived locally. We arranged it so that someone was there just about every day of the week, so that she wasn't alone, even though her only child (she was a single parent) had moved far away to London and only rarely visited despite being obsessively paranoid about her mum's poor health.
So I went to see Lel on that birthday, in March 2020. I went after work, taking a card and a little gift, and sat and chatted about I don't even know what. About the family. About her neighbours. About our gardens. And, probably, about the Covid-19 virus, which was spreading rapidly at that point and was a major source of concern. Then, as evening set in, I kissed her goodbye and headed home. "See you next week," I said - but I didn't, that was the last time I ever saw her. By the next Tuesday, I knew I had potentially been exposed to Covid by a colleague who'd risked a weekend in Italy just as the virus was exploding over there, and I knew Lel's health was too poor to take the chance of giving it to her, so I stayed away and phoned her instead. Then lockdown was declared, and by the time it was lifted my cousin had had her mother moved from her council flat in Cardiff to a care home in London - something Lel had always told me she absolutely categorically did not want, although I understand why my cousin wanted her closer. It has been a slow, steady downward spiral ever since. I spoke to her on the phone regularly at first, but that contact dwindled as she became less and less able to manage her mobile; in the end, it was just permanently dead or switched off. She went into hospital for the final time in December and I had hoped to get up to London to see her this week, while I have the week off work, but alas it was too late. She passed away on 17th March, with her son-in-law, rather than her daughter, at her side.
That was the Friday, two weeks ago. Lel died in the early hours. We were told mid-afternoon. That evening, my niece came for her regularly scheduled weekend sleepover. And the next day, the Saturday, her entire household tested positive for Covid - both of my parents and my brother, who lives with them (niece doesn't live with her mother, who is unable to look after her). So I just kind of...kept my niece with me and managed as best I could while they were all testing positive and feeling lousy and looking after each other. Getting her to school and back was an hour-and-a-half round trip on the bus, twice a day, while also juggling a full time job! Her school just isn't on a bus route from where I live, so it meant long walks to and from the nearest bus stop, and she only has 7yo legs, she can't walk very fast. Luckily my boss was very understanding - and Niece herself was a little star, so cooperative and uncomplaining, despite the major disruption to her life. Dad finally tested negative last Tuesday, after a week-and-a-half, so he picked up the school run by car again at that point, which was a huge relief. Then Mum, the last to shake it off, tested negative at last on Thursday, which just happened to be her birthday, so we all went round for a big reunion after work and school and had a little birthday tea. Niece could have gone home at that point, but Mum still wasn't feeling well so we gave Niece a choice and she asked if she could stay with me until Monday, today, so that's what we did. After two-and-a-half weeks, we went out for a day trip this morning to Castell Coch and she went home with my parents after that.
And I came home and did loads of gardening and a big Tesco shop to celebrate getting my freedom back!
Strange, hectic times.
Things have been a bit hectic. I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that my Auntie Lesley had passed away. March 17th, it was a Friday, and it hit quite hard because I've always been close to Auntie Lel. I saw her last on 3rd March 2020. It was her 74th birthday, it fell on a Tuesday, which was the day I always went to see her anyway, had done for years at that point, ever since the brush with death that left her so frail and semi-housebound. In her day, when she was younger and healthier, she was the most active person imaginable. She was the neighbourhood gossip, the busybody, she knew everything about everybody within the confines of the suburb where she'd lived her entire life, and she would do absolutely anything to help anyone who needed it. She'd give you the shirt off her own back if she thought it would help. She was just lovely. She loved her home and she loved her family, was happiest when she had us all around her. So when she could no longer go out and about the way she used to, it fell on us, her family, to go to her. And we did, those of us who lived locally. We arranged it so that someone was there just about every day of the week, so that she wasn't alone, even though her only child (she was a single parent) had moved far away to London and only rarely visited despite being obsessively paranoid about her mum's poor health.
So I went to see Lel on that birthday, in March 2020. I went after work, taking a card and a little gift, and sat and chatted about I don't even know what. About the family. About her neighbours. About our gardens. And, probably, about the Covid-19 virus, which was spreading rapidly at that point and was a major source of concern. Then, as evening set in, I kissed her goodbye and headed home. "See you next week," I said - but I didn't, that was the last time I ever saw her. By the next Tuesday, I knew I had potentially been exposed to Covid by a colleague who'd risked a weekend in Italy just as the virus was exploding over there, and I knew Lel's health was too poor to take the chance of giving it to her, so I stayed away and phoned her instead. Then lockdown was declared, and by the time it was lifted my cousin had had her mother moved from her council flat in Cardiff to a care home in London - something Lel had always told me she absolutely categorically did not want, although I understand why my cousin wanted her closer. It has been a slow, steady downward spiral ever since. I spoke to her on the phone regularly at first, but that contact dwindled as she became less and less able to manage her mobile; in the end, it was just permanently dead or switched off. She went into hospital for the final time in December and I had hoped to get up to London to see her this week, while I have the week off work, but alas it was too late. She passed away on 17th March, with her son-in-law, rather than her daughter, at her side.
That was the Friday, two weeks ago. Lel died in the early hours. We were told mid-afternoon. That evening, my niece came for her regularly scheduled weekend sleepover. And the next day, the Saturday, her entire household tested positive for Covid - both of my parents and my brother, who lives with them (niece doesn't live with her mother, who is unable to look after her). So I just kind of...kept my niece with me and managed as best I could while they were all testing positive and feeling lousy and looking after each other. Getting her to school and back was an hour-and-a-half round trip on the bus, twice a day, while also juggling a full time job! Her school just isn't on a bus route from where I live, so it meant long walks to and from the nearest bus stop, and she only has 7yo legs, she can't walk very fast. Luckily my boss was very understanding - and Niece herself was a little star, so cooperative and uncomplaining, despite the major disruption to her life. Dad finally tested negative last Tuesday, after a week-and-a-half, so he picked up the school run by car again at that point, which was a huge relief. Then Mum, the last to shake it off, tested negative at last on Thursday, which just happened to be her birthday, so we all went round for a big reunion after work and school and had a little birthday tea. Niece could have gone home at that point, but Mum still wasn't feeling well so we gave Niece a choice and she asked if she could stay with me until Monday, today, so that's what we did. After two-and-a-half weeks, we went out for a day trip this morning to Castell Coch and she went home with my parents after that.
And I came home and did loads of gardening and a big Tesco shop to celebrate getting my freedom back!
Strange, hectic times.
