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Sep. 12th, 2017 07:02 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
llywelaHappy birthday to my beautiful niece, who is two years old today
It has been a very difficult two years. We were in court yesterday afternoon, hoping to secure her future - at the fourth time of asking. Her mother, my little sister, is very young and autistic with a moderate learning disability, and although she loves her daughter she has not been able to parent her full time, while the baby’s father is a feckless little flake with a possible undiagnosed learning disability, who has proved worse than useless. So my parents are raising the baby, who is bright and articulate and is thriving, but social services kept raising concerns about their age, as both are in their 60s - it was when a social worker stated that the baby was still young enough to be taken away and adopted out that we went out and got a solicitor and applied for a court order that would secure her future within the family
We have a plan. My parents are in good health and are wonderful with the baby, she is thriving under their care. My sister lives at home with them, and as they age and she matures, she will have every chance to begin to step up and take on more responsibility, gradually assuming full time care of her daughter - but if that proves impossible, if she can’t manage it, that’s where I come in. It may well be that my niece will come to me in the end - I am the backup plan. This is a family arrangement that we are all comfortable with, one that will result in the least possible disruption to my niece’s life.
We just needed someone in authority to agree. We’ve been in court four times now this year. The first two times were adjourned because the baby’s father didn’t show up, and the court wanted to give him ‘every chance’ to have his say. The third time, he did show up, but then the court legal advisor was dubious about my parents’ age and wondered if social services should be doing more to provide support, and she swayed the three magistrates, who decided that they couldn’t possibly make a decision, so referred the case to a judge - costing us more time and money and stress.
Finally, yesterday, we got to see a judge. The baby’s father did not turn up. The judge took exactly ten minutes to decide that the arrangements and plans we have in place are entirely sensible, pointed out that no one can predict the future, so the best we can do is put in place a plan for now, which is what we have done, and passed the child arrangement order that we had requested.
Finally! We can now celebrate the baby’s birthday without all this stress hanging over our heads!
It has been a very difficult two years. We were in court yesterday afternoon, hoping to secure her future - at the fourth time of asking. Her mother, my little sister, is very young and autistic with a moderate learning disability, and although she loves her daughter she has not been able to parent her full time, while the baby’s father is a feckless little flake with a possible undiagnosed learning disability, who has proved worse than useless. So my parents are raising the baby, who is bright and articulate and is thriving, but social services kept raising concerns about their age, as both are in their 60s - it was when a social worker stated that the baby was still young enough to be taken away and adopted out that we went out and got a solicitor and applied for a court order that would secure her future within the family
We have a plan. My parents are in good health and are wonderful with the baby, she is thriving under their care. My sister lives at home with them, and as they age and she matures, she will have every chance to begin to step up and take on more responsibility, gradually assuming full time care of her daughter - but if that proves impossible, if she can’t manage it, that’s where I come in. It may well be that my niece will come to me in the end - I am the backup plan. This is a family arrangement that we are all comfortable with, one that will result in the least possible disruption to my niece’s life.
We just needed someone in authority to agree. We’ve been in court four times now this year. The first two times were adjourned because the baby’s father didn’t show up, and the court wanted to give him ‘every chance’ to have his say. The third time, he did show up, but then the court legal advisor was dubious about my parents’ age and wondered if social services should be doing more to provide support, and she swayed the three magistrates, who decided that they couldn’t possibly make a decision, so referred the case to a judge - costing us more time and money and stress.
Finally, yesterday, we got to see a judge. The baby’s father did not turn up. The judge took exactly ten minutes to decide that the arrangements and plans we have in place are entirely sensible, pointed out that no one can predict the future, so the best we can do is put in place a plan for now, which is what we have done, and passed the child arrangement order that we had requested.
Finally! We can now celebrate the baby’s birthday without all this stress hanging over our heads!
