llywela | calms me down

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calms me down

Meh. The local newspaper last night had a report of a flasher in my area, seen by a few women early one morning, local police asking for anyone with information to call. So I thought I should bite the bullet and report that prowler I saw the other week, since it was about the same time of day and all. Spent 40 minutes on hold, but now have an incident reference number, with all the details logged.

Also? This week's paper has no decent jobs in it at all. Job hunting is boring and demoralising. My finishing date for the current job is April 15th, pushed back two weeks from April 2nd because Boss didn't get my official letter of notice finalised until yesterday. So, to cheer myself up, I've finished off another List of Love that's been sitting around half-done for a few weeks now.

~~notTen~~ Things I Love about Supernatural's Phantom Traveler

I love this episode. It's so much fun, but also features some important early character and storyarc development, as well as seeing our first introduction to the demons of the Supernatural world.

So. In no particular order:

1. Shallow, I know, but I LOVE that long, slow, panning shot of Dean asleep on his stomach on top of the bedcovers. Legs and arms and shoulders, the curve of the spine and, erm, other areas… Delectable. How could anyone resist?

2. Sam'n'Dean as Men In Black. Awesome. 'Nuff said.

It's the looks on their faces as they glide effortlessly past security that really make this scene – deadpan poker faces glued in place, but then with the hint of a smirk peeking through as they turn away, ruse successfully pulled off.

3. "If you fellas will excuse me, I have an idiot to fire."
I love Jerry Panowski. I love that there's this guy who had his life saved by John and Dean, and hasn't just buried his head in denial but has assimilated the mind-blowing revelation of what's out there, and is getting on with his life with eyes wide open. I love that he is intelligent enough to not only put two and two together when he comes up against another supernatural problem, but to make the effort of calling in the covert experts, and to give them whatever help he can to aid their investigation but otherwise let them get on with it without interfering. And I love that the show uses him to, without even knowing he's doing it, so casually and unconsciously give Sam new insight into how his father really feels about him.

Three seasons on, Jerry is still one of my favourite one-off guest characters.

4. "It's about five forty-five."
"In the morning? Where does the day go?"

I love just-woke-up Dean, grouchy and half-asleep, having been woken up at the crack of dawn, and with the bedhair and everything. I love that for all his half-hearted grumbling about it being so early, he doesn't actually complain at all about being woken up – or about the fact that Sam's insomnia is probably disturbing his sleep, as well. He's more concerned about the fact of Sam suffering from insomnia in the first place, and makes looking after the grieving little brother seem effortless. He's been taking care of Sam most of his life, and seems incapable of resenting him in any way. And it takes only the tiniest prompt from Dean for Sam to 'fess up to what's troubling him, so naturally does it come for him to lean on his brother's support.

5. Sam thinks he doesn't want to talk about what's bothering him – but twice in the episode, at beginning and end, the moment Dean opens the door for him to unburden a little, it all comes tumbling out. He is so much the baby brother. Taking all his troubles to big brother is second nature, and, while Dean doesn't have all the answers, alas for them both, reassuring and soothing Sam is second nature for him.

6. I love the way Dean watches Sam to see if he's listening when Jerry mentions that he owes his life to John and Dean, proof that they weren't just wasting their time on some meaningless and futile drive for vengeance while Sam was away but were actually making a real difference in the lives of innocent people. It's important to Dean that Sam understands and respects that, although he'd never come out and say so. And I love but also hurt for the way Sam is so surprised to hear that John spoke of him with pride while he was away, while Dean already knows all about it, because he was there to hear it, but is clearly pleased that Sam is getting to hear about it from an impartial third party, again watching to see his brother's reaction. The estrangement between John and Sam has hurt Dean badly, and he wants nothing more than to see them reconciled and his family reunited.

It really kills me that each brother, for vastly different reasons, believes that their father is disappointed with him and favours the other – that simple fact speaks volumes about John's flawed parenting skills.

7. "You're never afraid?"
"No, not really."

"That's not fear. That is precaution."
After this many years of knowing what's out there, I'd say it was a healthy combination of the two!

8. I love how proud Dean is of his proficiency at forging fake IDs. He looks so pleased with himself when he hands Sam his card, then sits quietly smiling to himself as he examines his own, pleased with his handiwork.

Sam, of course, barely even notices – he's just all, 'oh yeah, another fake ID, how illegal', completely taking for granted the effort and skill involved in creating the forgery, and how valuable it is for their work.

9. I love that when Dean's phone rings at the start of the episode, he just sits there blinking at it, as if he's never seen a phone before. Still half-asleep and probably wondering who the hell would be calling before 6am.

10. "I look like one of the blues brothers!"
"No you don't. You look more like a seventh grader at his first dance."

Hee. I love how uncomfortable Dean is with formal attire, the way suits never quite sit right on him. It takes two full seasons before he starts to look comfortable in a suit.

11. I love Sam'n'Dean's hmm, curious faces, as they sit listening intently to EVP on the cockpit recorder.

12. This is another lovely, light, bright episode in which you can actually see what's going on!

13. Perfect expressions of wide-eyed mutual freakout when the brothers finally locate the demon, what with being trapped on a plane with it and all. Game on.

14. As with the fake IDs, I love how proud Dean is of his homemade EMF reader.

Again, though, Sam is not impressed by his brother's practical skills in the slightest, impatiently brushing it off as homemade and therefore shoddy and not the slightest bit special, rather than acknowledging it as something his brother worked hard to create and is proud of. Sam can be kind of a snob at times.

15. "Why do you think I drive everywhere, Sam?"
Dean's panic when he realises he's going to have to get on the plane is awesome to see, with Sam the perfect straight man for him to play off as he figures out what the problem is and can't believe it.

16. I love that, having disturbed Dean before 6am, Sam has the forethought to bring coffee and doughnuts to make up for it, and is just so cute as he tries to brush off his insomnia as no big deal. And I love that Dean sees straight through him, just as Sam isn't fooled by Dean's bravado.

17. Seeing the brothers cautiously poke their heads around a corner as they flee the compound always pleases me immensely. And the way they sort of scuttle-sprint toward the fence, trying to run without drawing attention to themselves. And the way they jump over the fence… Many things about this scene please me.

18. I love the way Dean improvises madly on the phone to Amanda, searching for any angle he can possibly use to convince and cajole her, with Sam anxiously hovering, trying to figure out based on Dean's side of the conversation just what's going on.

This is a character trait we see over and over with Dean: if he's called on a lie, he'll just play along with whatever the other person accuses him of until he hits something that works, and then runs with that, anything to stall, to attempt to convince. It very nearly works here – so close.

19. SuperSammy keeping his cool and exorcising like mad in the midst of chaos to prevent the plane crashing is great to see – he might not have wanted this life, might have walked away with no intention of ever coming back, might have only been drawn back in by personal tragedy, but he's good at what he does, and knows his stuff inside out.

20. I love Dean's embarrassment talking to Amanda on the plane, trying to find out if she is possessed or not: her incomprehension at his random babbling of the word 'cristo', while Dean's kind of cringing, knowing that he sounds crazy, but tries it anyway because locating the demon is more important than making a good impression.

21. Boys in dishabille. 'Nuff said.

22. The boys' wide-eyed intensity when they try to talk Amanda into helping them is hilarious, and probably rather more alarming than convincing, and yet it works.

23. I love the boys' John-type research wall at the motel-of-the-week, all that random research haphazardly pinned all over the wall in slap-dash fashion, just like John's was in the Pilot.

24. "You're humming Metallica?"
"Calms me down."
Sam's amusement over Dean's fear of flying is all kinds of entertaining. He's still not used to seeing any cracks in his brother's armour, and so enjoys the novelty of seeing Dean openly freaking out.

This is the first instance of role reversal in the show, the first time we've seen Sam having to step up to the plate and take charge because Dean is struggling, and at this stage neither is comfortable with it. It is very notable that Sam's efforts at reassurance fall flat, and only when he takes a harder line does he manage to calm his brother down. Dean responds much better to orders than to cajoling.

25. I love the faces Dean pulls.

26. Dean flipping out when the plane loses control. Bless. And he'd been keeping such a tight reign on his phobia up till that point.

27. "This is John Winchester. I can't be reached. If this is an emergency, call my son Dean."

Just…Sam's face when Jerry tells the boys about John's message, so stricken. And Dean's face, so troubled. And both of their silent reactions as they listen to that message, the first confirmation they've had that their father is even alive, after weeks, maybe months of silence. There's just nothing either one can say in reaction, nothing at all. John doesn't want to be found, has chosen to go into hiding even from them, for reasons unknown, but he's their father and they need him, and it hurts.

All caps made by me.

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I didn't even notice it the first time I was really watching, but Sam is very stuck up. And I also want to say that it seems like Sam used to Dean being able to do everything he sets out to do, so making a homemade EMF reader or a fake ID isn't that impressive, because it was Dean doing it, and Dean can do anything, so why should it be special?

At least that's what I like to think, because poor Dean needs some love.

I also love the scene where Sam wakes Dean up early, because it kind of shows us that they may be brothers, but there is 4 years of estrangement there, so they don't just fall back into the routine we see in Mystery Spot. Dean doesn't recognize Sam by ear just yet, but it kind of highlights that he will later, which is ♥

Plus, we've already talked about my kink for sleeping!Dean, and my kink for wakingup!Dean is just as huge.

Oooh, LJ is back - I hate when it disappears like that for a while!

Heck, yeah. Sam absolutely takes for granted that Dean can do stuff like that, in the same way that Dean takes for granted that Sam will be able to hack into computers and the like - like in...Houses of the Holy, when Sam's proud of himself for hacking into the victim's computer and Dean doesn't notice. They take one another's skills very much for granted. At this stage of the show especially, it's still so early and we're getting to know the brothers as they refamiliarise with one another, so it's more accentuated with two examples in this ep of Sam being unimpressed by something Dean has done. He totally takes for granted that his brother can do just about anything.

I love SleepyDean as well ♥

Dean doesn't recognize Sam by ear just yet, but it kind of highlights that he will later, which is ♥
Nice way of looking at it :)

You know, I wanted to start a '10 Reasons to Hate episode xy' picspam thread only to be all original and different and found out that I was unable to find 10 things in any episode (at least in S1 when I thought about it) that I truly and honestly disliked and not only felt a little annoyed at or felt indifferent about! So, that was that ... *g*
Mwahahahahah. Hey, maybe we could try that for some other show, one that disappoints...*G*

Ooh Jerry Panowski, how I adore you! ♥
I know. It's never going to happen, but I'd love to see signs of a network of contacts the boys have built up over the years, people they've worked with in the past and trust enough to turn to for specific advice and support when in need.

You know, seeing this I just realise how much I sometimes miss young and naive Sammy, relying on his brother but also having enough strength if necessary. While I know where his development stems from, seeing him here makes me mourn that still somehow innocent and open boy, with all his snobbisms and egoistical tendencies, nonetheless.
I know. :( Sam has grown up so much - and has been damaged so much over the past two and a half seasons. He was so innocent still back at the start of it all. And it hurts more knowing how hard Dean worked to keep him that innocent and sheltered, only for both their lives to blow up in their faces :(

It's been a traumatic few years all right!

I know, we talk about this like, uh, constantly, but it never gets old really! Just wanted to throw that in! *g*
ROFL I know, we really have talked this one to death, so many times, and yet no doubt will continue to discuss it at every opportunity!

I also want to point out in that episode we have our first demon/exorcism and Dean's remark on how demons don't want anything but death and destruction for its own sake is interesting since we know that demons are a pretty rare occurance at that time and I find myself wondering how John (I'm guessing that he had that info from John rather than from own experience) came to that knowledge. The demons later in the show all showing up with their own agendas and whatnot! :D
Hmm.

*thinks*

Okay, I'm going to hypothesise now. We know that demonic possessions were pretty rare before the YED became active, so maybe this more organised variety of demonic activity is pretty new. Any demons John encountered in the past were maybe along the lines of the Phantom Traveler demon, relatively low level and alone in the world, with no agenda other than random destruction. The rules have changed now, with so many loose in the world, of all levels and strengths, and a power vacuum among them, jostling for position and all the rest of it. It's a whole new ball game now, and the brothers I'd guess have learnt more about demons in general over the past year or two than John ever had the opportunity to learn in all his years of hunting.

Mwahahahahah. Hey, maybe we could try that for some other show, one that disappoints...*G* ROFL hey, that could be just as therapeutic as fangirling out show can be! :D

And it hurts more knowing how hard Dean worked to keep him that innocent and sheltered, only for both their lives to blow up in their faces :( It's been a traumatic few years all right! Absolutely! I know I often return to S1 for some lighthearted fun and for going back to easier times but by now it leaves me with a feeling of hurt and ache just looking at these pictures. :(

About the demons: I wonder if John's and Bobby's relationship was ever close enough that Bobby told John about his own personal tragic experience with demons/possessions and that John had some of his knowledge from him. We don't know how long exactly that fallout had been, anywhere between 1992 and 2005 is the rough estimation, so Bobby would probably already have been very knowledgeable by that point. And if John had any experiences with demons before I wonder why he didn't suspect a demon for Mary's murder earlier.

hey, that could be just as therapeutic as fangirling out show can be! :D
Absolutely! I'll have to get online at some point soon for one of our fangirl sessions *G*

I know I often return to S1 for some lighthearted fun and for going back to easier times but by now it leaves me with a feeling of hurt and ache just looking at these pictures. :(
Poor boys. :( But the story can't stand still - they've both come such a long way since these early episodes, before they found out just how bad things could get for them. :(

I wonder if John's and Bobby's relationship was ever close enough that Bobby told John about his own personal tragic experience with demons/possessions and that John had some of his knowledge from him. We don't know how long exactly that fallout had been, anywhere between 1992 and 2005 is the rough estimation, so Bobby would probably already have been very knowledgeable by that point. And if John had any experiences with demons before I wonder why he didn't suspect a demon for Mary's murder earlier.
*sigh*

Always the information gap where John is concerned - so much we don't know! Whenever he first learnt/suspected demonic involvement, he certainly never breathed a word of it to his sons before Shadow, and that's just about all we know, alas. I suppose the trouble he always had was that the more he learned about the supernatural, the more possible suspects there were for Mary's death - and it would only have been in very recent years that information became easier to access. So, for example, go back even five years and there wouldn't have been any easy way for him to pull together the various nursery fires across the country similar to Sam's. His information-gathering was slow and painstaking, that much seems certain. The rest, we can only speculate and wonder!

Hehe, I think I'm even more shallow - I love the fine hair on Dean's thighs. It so makes me want to touch it *fingers itch*

My favorite scene of that ep? Dean's total refusal to step on that plane! His whiny "Ma~an..." gets me every time :D

Another funny scene is when Sam calls him back on the plane to tell that the word is cristo in Latin and Dean snaps "Dude, I know, I'm not an idiot!"

Oh, and the last scene... The whole setting is so wonderful. The whole scene is blue... I so miss the blue look of S1. S3 is so bright and sunny that I expect bunnies to start hopping around XP

Mmmmmmmm ♥

Rather shockingly, this is the first of these lists I've done that hasn't included a random 'Dean is very pretty in this episode' number, but hey - the evidence speaks for itself, no? *G*

I like Sam's hair in this episode. It's almost manageable! I like Dean's hair in every episode; it's rather longer in this one than most... *muses*

Shallow is fun *G*

I think Kripke has said that the disappearance of the de-saturated colouring this season is an experiment, and that they might return to the old style for season four. I'm glad :)

Pretty!!!! Whatever you did to those caps is really good. And thank you for reminding me why I loved Supernatural :)

Lightened 'em and sharpened 'em.

Season one was just lovely, wasn't it :)

I have a lot of love for S1, definitely.

Yay, season 1!

Although we clearly get a lot out of the first three episodes as well, I think Phantom Traveller is where the series really starts to pick up steam--especially with that voicemail message at the end.

I previously noted the difference in their attitude and knowledge about demons in this episode and picked up on it for one of my Monday metas (actually two, because it led to another one speculating about John's hunts and his own knowledge of demons). I think that this is evidence that where some hunts are concerned, John went to pains to arm them against the creature, but kept them away from the actual hunts. I say this because whether or not he knew more about Azazel before he went AWOL on Dean, he clearly hasn't told them a lot about demons in general, other than that Sam knows there's an exorcism ritual in the journal.

Obviously, from a mytharc standpoint, this is deliberate--they have to know next to nothing about this form of supernatural creature (or at least, believe something slightly different from the truth) so that the show can reveal more about them as the big bad front that they have become. But beyond that, I think it's telling to look at it from the perspective that John may have decided that demons were "too dangerous" or too involved with what happened to Mary to risk either Dean or Sam by bringing them in to the demon-hunting biz.

As for Bobby, I think they must have talked about it at some point, but probably only in general terms, and probably not until John began to put the pieces together to figure out Mary's murder had to have been demonic. I haven't spent a lot of time thinking about his and Bobby's falling out, but I can imagine at least one scenario in which John made the real mistake of putting his own personal tragedy so far ahead of Bobby's that he pushed too hard for answers.

Will have to give that some thought. Dean was around, because he knew that Bobby had thrown John out, but he was still willing to go to Bobby when he needed a haven. So how much he knows about *why* Bobby and John parted ways...that's up in the air.

Yay, season one, indeed! So light and fluffy back there at the start of it all, in comparison to everything that's happened since.

There's just so much we don't know, about John and his progress as a hunter and how much he did or didn't know at any given point in time.

Sorry, that was a shorter answer than I meant it to be, very tired last night - what I meant was, there's so much we don't know about John and what he did or didn't know that we can speculate in just about any and every direction! And around in circles until we are dizzy, if we are so inclined...*G*

I kinda think that John himself probably didn't know a huge amount about demons, since we know that prior to season one they were comparatively rare. It would be so, so nice to have some concrete information about how much John learned and when, so we can be sure! It would at least be nice to know just when he figured out it was a demon that had killed Mary - if not until the new phase of nursery fires in season one, there would have been no reason for him to focus his search on demons specifically. I tend to think he couldn't have known before then, because John being John he would have instantly narrowed his focus, rather than continuing to hunt more generally, and Dean would have known about it - couldn't have avoided knowing about it. It seems clear that John taking off at the start of season one was a pretty huge break in pattern, which suggests that that's when everything changed in terms of his focus.

But without solid information, we could speculate and debate this one till the cows come home!

Hope the job situation picks up soon. I saw a job in Cheshire for someone to organise volunteers and stuff like that. Sounded similar to what you are doing now, but it's far too far away from you. I'm guessing you don't want to move far away?

Thanks, Jules. :)

Yeah, I'd rather not move if I can help it - got too many commitments down here!

Good on you to talk to the police. I hope they catch this day! Creep!

Good luck with the job hunting *hugs* Hope you find the perfect one soon!

Thanks, Kel!

I hope they catch the creep too - and that I find a decent job!

I ADORE Jerry Panowski!!

Random Guy: Poltergeist, man I love that movie!
Jerry: Hey, nobody's talking to you. Keep walkin'.

Hee! I'm gonna have to watch Phantom Traveler as soon as I get home now.

Another Jerry-lover. He was a great one-shot character.

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