I love that middle picture in that banner for some reason! *loves*
The whole Dean/evil!Dean scene kind of broke my heart. Dean's issues are so deep and painful! And he didn't deserve any of it.
I do sometimes wonder, when the boys were growing up, how Dean dealt with Sam and their father in terms of "Sam should listen to me," because I know Dean would have done what John told him to, but I also think there would have been that part of him that resented it, that resented John coming in and trying to "take over" being Dad for Sam when he was around and then just bailing all the time. It must have been hard for Sam too. I'm sure Dean had all kinds of conflicted feelings growing up stuck in the middle, never able to just stay on an even keel and be either dad or brother, having to switch around constantly.
I also wonder what went on that, at the beginning of S1, Sam thought his dad hated him and Dean apparently thought John doted on Sam. Because that's a huge chasm of difference. I know John bragged about Sam to people, amd maybe he didn't really with Dean? *ponders that* I want more wee!chesters!!!!!!!
"Your own father didn't care if you lived or died! Why should you?"
And that's what I don't get. John sold his soul to save Dean's life, so why would Dean think that? Is it something left over from before that incident? Something so deep-seated(sp?) that even his dad going to hell for him isn't able to get rid of it?
My dad was an obsessed bastard And as much as I love John, I think he had the same kind of blinders on that Sam does sometimes: physical well-being is the most important thing, with emotional well-being kind of on the back burner, when it comes down to it. Like in the last ep, where Dean was dying, and instead of staying with Dean, Sam went charging after the witches. Which made sense, since he knew if he stopped them he saved Dean's life. But he left his brother alone to bleed to death on the floor. It's kind of like they're willing to put the little things on hold in favor of the big picture, and Dean thrives on the little things. And for John the first thing that had to be done was kill the demon, and then they could go about picking the pieces up. And it wasn't healthy, for 22 years of his children's lives, because 22 years is 22 years of damage, most of which can't really be fixed.
And I am so, so glad that Dean was finally able to admit that he doesn't want to die and go to hell, and that he told Sam, and that Sam will start fighting to keep him again.
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The whole Dean/evil!Dean scene kind of broke my heart. Dean's issues are so deep and painful! And he didn't deserve any of it.
I do sometimes wonder, when the boys were growing up, how Dean dealt with Sam and their father in terms of "Sam should listen to me," because I know Dean would have done what John told him to, but I also think there would have been that part of him that resented it, that resented John coming in and trying to "take over" being Dad for Sam when he was around and then just bailing all the time. It must have been hard for Sam too. I'm sure Dean had all kinds of conflicted feelings growing up stuck in the middle, never able to just stay on an even keel and be either dad or brother, having to switch around constantly.
I also wonder what went on that, at the beginning of S1, Sam thought his dad hated him and Dean apparently thought John doted on Sam. Because that's a huge chasm of difference. I know John bragged about Sam to people, amd maybe he didn't really with Dean? *ponders that* I want more wee!chesters!!!!!!!
"Your own father didn't care if you lived or died! Why should you?"
And that's what I don't get. John sold his soul to save Dean's life, so why would Dean think that? Is it something left over from before that incident? Something so deep-seated(sp?) that even his dad going to hell for him isn't able to get rid of it?
My dad was an obsessed bastard
And as much as I love John, I think he had the same kind of blinders on that Sam does sometimes: physical well-being is the most important thing, with emotional well-being kind of on the back burner, when it comes down to it. Like in the last ep, where Dean was dying, and instead of staying with Dean, Sam went charging after the witches. Which made sense, since he knew if he stopped them he saved Dean's life. But he left his brother alone to bleed to death on the floor. It's kind of like they're willing to put the little things on hold in favor of the big picture, and Dean thrives on the little things. And for John the first thing that had to be done was kill the demon, and then they could go about picking the pieces up. And it wasn't healthy, for 22 years of his children's lives, because 22 years is 22 years of damage, most of which can't really be fixed.
And I am so, so glad that Dean was finally able to admit that he doesn't want to die and go to hell, and that he told Sam, and that Sam will start fighting to keep him again.