llywela | "The righteous man who begins it is the only one who can finish it."

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"The righteous man who begins it is the only one who can finish it."

Wales-Germany last night was a much better game than Finland on Saturday. We lost, obviously, but who wasn't expecting that? It was an open, flowing game that was a lot of fun to watch. Germany's first goal was excellent - 30 yard strike! - and their second a fluked own goal. Wales held their own and had their share of goal-scoring chances, just lacked that cutting edge. We have a very young and inexperienced squad - this campaign will have been a good learning curve for them to build on for the future.

Right. Recap time.

Okay, so this recap seems to have been bubbling away in the background forever. Between lack of free time and the sheer density and complexity of the episode, it really wasn't easy to write! I'm still not happy with it. I know I've left out stuff I meant to say, repeated myself in places and not expressed myself clearly in other places. But it'll have to do! I can't spend any more time on it, and it is quite long enough already.

So, here we go: far too many pages in which I ramble on at great length about Dean's depression and Sam's emotional shut-down, Castiel's pathological inability to think outside the box, why Alistair was always in control of the torture session and how Dean was set up to fail from the start, Sam's growing superiority complex, a detailed deconstruction of why Alistair has to have been lying through his teeth about John, Sam drinking demon blood, treason in the angelic ranks, Dean's role as unwitting agent of the Apocalypse and the soul-crushing impact of this information, Sam's awesome new power and righteous rage, Castiel playing at CSI and learning to think for himself, Uriel's betrayal, growing factionalism, the meaning of free will, and much more beside.

To read the recap, click the link below:

"We raised you out of hell for our purposes."

Screencaps found at Screencap Paradise,

marishna and

oxoniensis

Anyone who actually makes it through the entire thing deserves virtual cookies and gold stars. Also, do tell me if I've made any horrendous mistakes anywhere.

And now we shall see how long it takes me to catch up with 4.17...

In Other News, did any of the other Brits on my flist catch the Beeb's new Tuesday night drama All The Small Things the other night? I really enjoyed the first episode - looking forward to seeing how the rest of the mini-series pans out.

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You finished the monster! YAY! *claps* Awesome work, hon. *hugs*

I know I probably shouldn't say this, because we talked about this already, but I can't help myself *g*

Perceived need prioritised above other considerations, no matter what damage it causes, and foremost in his mind even in the midst of an unrelated crisis. Hm, but the crisis isn’t completely unrelated. While I agree with your assessment that Sam uses Dean’s situation as an excuse, it’s also clear that he knows that he will probably face Alistair, if not even the angels, and that he needs to be strong enough to best the demon if necessary. I know, we discussed already that he could’ve been satisfied with only exorcising him, but I can still understand the need to be able to kill him or at least be sure that there was no way he would be able to flee the scene, like in 4.15.

He's on a high, compassion all shorted out, and task-focus absolute. And I would still argue that a) we don’t see Sam enter the room and he could have looked at Dean, reassured that he is still breathing, before he engaged Alistair, especially since the demon didn’t notice his entrance and b) Alistair escaped him once before and Sam knows that any kind of error might lose him the control over the situation and hence he can’t allow any distractions. There’s no doubt that he is completely focused as soon as he faces Alistair and doesn’t give Dean a glance, but it is possible that he reassured himself first and then shut out any further conscious thought about his brother and rode the high of killing Alistair.

This is still the only episode of SN that I actually only watched once. It's at my utmost limit for darkness in the show and the utter destruction of Dean's spirit is hard to bear, even for my angst-loving self.

Heh. I stand by my interpretation!

I've watched through several times now, and we see Sam as he comes into the room, completely focused on the demon. I don't think he's had time to scan the room and see Dean, and even if he had, he couldn't tell from there if he was breathing or not. Honestly, I think he's got himself wound up so intensely that he doesn't look for Dean - Alistair and Castiel are the first thing he sees when he walks through the door and he acts, no hesitation.

I also stand by my interpretation that Sam's perceived need for the blood is not related to the crisis at hand. It's a subtle distinction that I can see clearly in my head but struggle to put into words. (Especially this morning, because - sleepy!) It's about shifting priorities. The fact that he managed to save everyone and kill Alistair is useful and provides ample justification that's hard to argue against, but hanging around to make out with his demon girlfriend and drink his blood for a power boost wasn't the obvious solution to the problem. Dean had been abducted and was in danger - more psychological danger than physical, from what Sam knew at that stage. Getting there and pulling him out sooner rather than later was what was needed. But Sam wanted to have more power and wanted to kill Alistair - that's about Sam, not about Dean. I can understand him wanting that, completely. I'm just not sure it was the appropriate reaction, or that Sam is even aware of how his need for that blood is blurring the lines.

But I'm really struggling to think coherently this morning, so had better stop trying!

I think you've hit the nail on the head. Sam's pooch is screwed right now. And while his concern for Dean is genuine, on some level, it's also being used as a rationalisation and a justification for him to do what he wants to do most right now -- suck Ruby's blood and trip on the power. Because what he felt doing what he did to Alastair? He loved it. Not because he was avenging Dean, but because he was hopped up on Ruby juice and glorying in his enhanced powers. I'd go so far to say as offing Alastair was orgasmic. Personally satisfying re Dean, yes - but it's so not just about Dean now. It's gone way way beyond that. And while there's a tiny part of him that knows it, most of him has his fingers stuck in his ears singing la la la la la as loud as he can.

This so not going to end well. I can't wait! *g*

I didn't say that is was only just about Dean, I just said that it was also about Dean.

Heh. And I never said that the concern for Dean wasn't in there. *G* Just that it wasn't the foremost priority, because everything is so tangled up in Sam's head at the moment, and the more conflicted he is, the more he gets set on the defensive, the more he digs his heels in.

Sorry, no I wasn't referring to you, but to Karen's statment that it's so not just about Dean, which, you know I never stated. *g*

we see Sam as he comes into the room

ROFL I just watched the scene again, just to be sure, but we see Alistair do the exorcism on Castiel and then he gets flung to the wall and then there's a cut to Sam, focused on Alistair, taking some steps towards him. So, we don't exactly see him coming into the room, he's already a good part away from the door. *sticks tongue out*

I am tired today as well. I shouldn't have read your recap in the middle of the night, after I came back from a night out. *lol*

Well, he's pretty far away from Alistair still at that point! I just see nothing in the scene to indicate that Sam has looked for Dean. He hasn't gone there expecting Dean to be physically injured. He's gone there angry that Dean was taken for this task and wanting to do it for him, all his focus is on Alistair.

LOL we're both too sleepy to debate properly! I wrote notes on 418 before work but can't bring myself to even think about those notes now. Need rest. Doing actual work might provide that rest...*G*

LOL no, it's not indicated, but it's also not impossible. We just aren't privy to what happens the moment Sam steps through the door and takes in the scenario before him, because we don't see the scene from his perspective in that moment. That's all. ;)

I didn't watch 4.18 yet. I am just too tired at the moment. Hopefully we manage a fangirl session this evening. :)

*G* Honestly, though, I think if Sam had seen Dean on the floor then even in that power high state he'd have been more distracted than we saw, especially because he was too far to be able to tell if he was alive or not. I don't think he saw him. And he doesn't look.

Pretty sure we can manage a fangirl session tonight! We'd just better stay off this topic LOL

Go rest and then watch. *pokes* You need to have thoughts if we are going to chat. *G*

Okay, I guess we just have to file this under the uhm 5 things or so we don't agree on in SN. *g*

I tried to sleep, but my head is like a frikkin train station, loud and noisy and too many voices arguing. So I guess I just need to push through this. /sigh

Heh. I hope you at least enjoyed your night out!

I did. I was with my best friend and her husband all day and we had a really lovely day, with long walks in the sun, shared cooking and listening to music and chatting non-stop. I wasn't really home all that late, but then I had to read your recap and then it made me think about the general direction of S4 and so I couldn't sleep, with thoughts going round in my head. God, I know it's blasphemy, but I really look forward to the mini-hiatus. LOL

Oh, that sounds like a lovely day :) Great stuff. And then I brought you down with a 416 meta, heavy stuff... :p

You already know that I'm looking forward to the mini hiatus! I need a breather. And catch-up time.

Just ride the rollercoaster and don't look ahead. That's my motto this season.

LOL it's not exactly your fault that the season is so depressing. ;) And I looked forward to your recap anyway. Oh, btw really loved your step by step analysis why Alistair was lying about John. We talked about it already, but I enjoyed to read it in this concised form. Good stuff. :)

LOL you know me. I'd like to be more zen about it, but I worry myself sick. Even without reading spoilers. ;)

Thank you! I feel much better for laying it all out, logically. It still bugs me that the writing left it so open-ended.

*lends you some of my zen laid-backness*

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"The righteous man who begins it is the only one who can finish it."

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